Shattered Illusions
by WheezylovesSeverus4ever
Summary: Harry is being abused and not getting his Hogwarts letter, so Dumbledore sends Snape along. In Harry, Snape only see's James Potter, he doesn't notice that something is very...off. Warnings: Child Abuse and language so far. Warning will be added as I go.
1. Name is Freak

Shattered Illusions Chapter One: Name is Freak?

It was dark and cramped, it was very hard to breathe. On the outside, the telly could be heard playing rather loudly, and the sound of the family laughing and talking were unmistakable. Listen more closely and you could hear the sounds of ragged breathing and small whimpering coming from the cupboard under the stairs.

The cupboard housed a very small eleven year old boy, ever since he was a baby. Other than the boy, the cupboard had a bucket for urinating in, an old tattered blue baby blanket, and some cleaning supplies. Not even a mattress for the boy to sleep on. It had been destroyed when the boy bled on it.

Freak hugged his knees to his chest and concentrated on breathing, it was getting harder. The vent on the door, the only source of air, had been shut hours ago and Freak felt like he was suffocating.

Freak made the mistake of taking a deep breath and accidentally inhaled a bunch of the dust. It tickled his throat and burned his lungs. Harry tried his best not to cough, but it just burst out. Once he started coughing, he couldn't stop it.

"FREAK!" Uncle Vernon shouted. Freak curled in on himself in fear. Freak could hear the sound of Uncle Vernon's heavy feet stomping on the ground, getting closer. Suddenly the door opened and a hand shot in and grabbed him.

Panicked, Freak tried to wiggle free but the grip tightened painfully and yanked him out. The arm pulled him out hard and let go, sending Freak's head bouncing off the wall. He quickly picked himself up, ignoring the throbbing in his head.

"What have I told you about making noise?" Uncle Vernon growled. Freak didn't respond. This was a game that Uncle Vernon often liked to play. He would ask Freak a question and pretend that he wanted an answer, but when Freak would answer, he'd get beat. If he didn't answer he still sometimes got beat.

Freak found out that under no circumstances is he actually supposed to speak. He hadn't spoken in years, except for the occasional plea for mercy. Freak didn't even talk at school because he never went to school. Only Dudley was allowed to go to school. Good boy's and girls were allowed to go to school, not good for nothing, worthless freaks.

"Answer me Freak!" Uncle Vernon demanded. Freak paled, he didn't know what Uncle Vernon wanted! He could never tell. Everything was wrong, anything he did went against the rules. The second most important rule was 'no speaking' but the third one was 'obey Uncle Vernon at all times'. No matter what he did, he was asking for a beating.

"Noise bad." Freak whispered and closed his eyes to prepare for the blow. It came, sending Freaks head into the wall again.

"NO SPEAKING!" Uncle Vernon roared, grabbing the front of Freaks shirt and pulling his up to his face.

"You're worthless Freak. Stupid, filthy, nasty, horrible Freak." Uncle Vernon threw Freak to the floor and kicked him in the side. "The bathroom needs cleaning. Get going." Freak scrambled to his feet and tore upstairs as fast as he could.

When he made it to the bathroom he was panting and faint headed. He was probably just hungry, it had been a week and a half before he had anything other than water. Freak turned to look into the mirror. His black hair was sticking up every where and was greasy beyond belief, his green eyes were dull and lifeless.

Freak turned his face, looking for bruises. None were visible. He could feel the bruises everywhere, but none were visible. His aunt and uncle hated it, told him it was freaky and would hit him more. Freak didn't understand, it's not like it was his fault the bruises were shy.

Freak frowned and opened the cupboard under the sink and started pulling out cleaning supplies. He spent the next hour scrubbing the bathroom clean and when it was finished he put the cleaning supplies away and went back down stairs.

Freak was going to go to his cupboard, but then he saw that the mail had come. When that happened he was required to give it to his uncle so he bent down and picked up the letters. He glanced down at one and he frowned. It was addressed, Harry Potter, cupboard under the stairs.

It didn't make sense, there wasn't a Harry Potter here, and he was the only one that lived in the cupboard under the stairs. Freak shrugged and carried the letters to the living room, where Uncle Vernon was sitting, watching the telly.

Uncle Vernon had taken the letters, and Freak waited to be dismissed. Suddenly sometime hit him in the face and he stumbled back in shock.

"YOU"RE SUCH A FREAK!" Uncle Vernon roared, throwing the letters on the ground. Vernon's fist made contact with Freaks face, sending him to the ground. "You unnatural piece of shit, bringing your freakishness into this house! How dare you!" Uncle Vernon spat, kicking Freak over and over again.

"Go to your cupboard and don't leave!" Vernon growled and stopped kicking Freak. Freak got up as quickly as he could, and that wasn't very quick, and limped his way to the cupboard. He could feel the floor shaking with every step Uncle Vernon took after him.

When he got to the cupboard, Uncle Vernon took Freak by the hair and slapped him across the face, the threw him into the cupboard. Freak sighed with relief, until Uncle Vernon shut the vent, closing off any air supply.

Freak crawled over to where his blanket was and put his face into it and sighed. The blanket was the only thing that brought him comfort. It was given to him by his mum when he was just a baby, and it was the only thing he owned. Freak curled up and dozed off to sleep.

Freak woke up a couple of hours later by his aunt slapping him on the face.

"Get up." She growled. Freak sighed and crawled out of the cupboard and stood expectantly in front of her. "Get up stairs and shower, you're filthy." She snapped. "No hot water or I'll let your uncle deal with you." Freak nodded and ran up the steps.

Once in the bathroom he threw off his tattered, oversized clothes and jumped under the cold water. Freak picked up his bar of soap and started lathering himself up, while eyeing the shampoo. He wished he could use some, it smelled good. But Freak shook his head, he knew he'd get caught if he did, just like if he were to use warm water. He found that out the hard way.

After he was washed from head to toe he got out and was about to put his clothes back on when he noticed a pile of clean clothes. They were over sized like his current clothes, but they didn't have as many holes. He grinned and put them on, then exited the bathroom.

When he reached the last step Aunt Petunia was standing there waiting. "Get back to your cupboard."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Severus was in his lab getting ready to brew. He didn't know what he was going to brew yet, he had many experiments to chose from. After some debate he decided to continue working on the healing potion he had started. So far, he had only done the research part.

The healing potion he was working on, would work a lot faster than the ones currently out. It would make Madam Pomfrey's job a lot easier. So with that, he started pulling out the ingredients and preparing them.

He was just about to start the actual potion when he heard Albus' voice coming from his fireplace. He cursed under his breath but was glad Albus hadn't waited much longer, other wise his potion would have been ruined.

"What is it Albus?" Severus demanded once in front of the fire place.

"I would like to see you in my office, my boy." Then the head was gone. In minutes Severus was in Albus' office, standing in front of the desk.

"Please, have a seat. Lemon drop?"

"No, thank you. What's this about?" Severus asked.

"Ah, right to the point like always I see." Albus said, "It's about Harry Potter."

"What does he have to do with anything?" Severus demanded.

"Well, he hasn't been getting his letters." Albus said, like it was the most obvious thing ever.

"What does that have to do with me?"

"I need you to go deliver-"

"No."

"Severus, you're the only one who can." Albus pleaded. "Everyone else is too busy. I was going to send Hagred, but something had come up."

"Why don't you do it yourself?" Severus asked, annoyed.

"I, as headmaster, am far much to busy." Albus said simply. "You must do it."

"Fine, fine." Severus said rubbing his eyes. "When?"

"Well I've been sending them for three days, so I was hoping you could go now." Albus said, his eyes twinkling. Severus was sending his best death glare.

"Fine."

"Oh, and take him to Diagon Alley while you're at it." Dumbledore called after him. Dumbledore could hear Severus' growling down the hall and chuckled.

Severus went to his rooms to change into something more suitable, then went past the ward to apperate to number four. He sneered when he saw the neighborhood. Everything was exactly the same. Even the cars were mostly the same models.

He straightened up his shoulders and marched to the door, and knocked. There was suddenly shouting and a loud crash, like something had broken, then the door opened, showing a small wale.

"Who're you?" The wale asked.

"I'm here for Mr. Potter." Severus said.

"Who?" The wale asked, his face showing confusion.

"Dudders, who is it?" A sickly sweet voice asked from inside, then a woman who he recognized as Petunia come up.

"You!" She shrieked.

"Yes, me." Severus said. "Where's Mr. Potter?" Severus demanded.

"Th-there's nobody here by that name." She said quickly, trying to slam the door. Severus stuck his foot in it and pushed it open. Then pulled out his wand.

"I'll ask one more time, where is Mr. Potter."

Petunia face went pale and she pointed to the cupboard.


	2. Shopping With Freak

Shattered Illusions Chapter Two: Shopping With Freak.

Snape blinked. Petunia had just pointed to the cupboard under the stairs when asked where Potter was, but why would Potter be in the cupboard under the stairs? He stepped forward in front of the cupboard and noticed the lock on the outside.

"He was having a time out." Petunia explained as if hearing Snape's wonder.

"What did he do to deserve being shoved in a cupboard?" Snape asked.

"Horrible child he is. He steels and cheats all the time." Petunia said. Snape smirked, he some time wished he could lock his students in a cupboard. Snape lifted his hand and unlocked the door, then pulled it open.

Inside was a very small boy sleeping in the corner, on top of a small blanket. The child looked to be no more than eight years old.

"This is Mr. Potter?" Snape asked taking his eyes off the boy.

"Yes." Petunia answered.

"Why's he so small?" Snape questioned.

"He doesn't eat much." Petunia said. "We try to get him to eat, but he refuses." Snape seemed to accept that answer, because he stuck his foot in and nudged Harry.

"Potter. Wake up Potter." Snape said.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Freak was laying in his cupboard trying not to lose consciousness. He didn't know how long he had been in it, but it was really hard to breathe. Freak's head felt weird and as time went on, his eye lids got heavier and heavier. He finally just let them close and was drifting off when he heard voices outside his door.

He tried to understand what they were saying, but it sounded all muffled and quiet. Suddenly his door opened and somebody was calling for 'Potter'. Freak tried to open his eyes, but they just wouldn't. Then something nudged his shoulder and he jumped up, startled.

"So good of you to join us, Potter." A voice said. Freak didn't look up. That was against the rules. Never look an adult in the eyes. Not even the face, or anywhere really. It was just safer to look at the floor at all times.

"Well, come a long Potter." The man snapped. Freak's brows came together in confusion. Who was this , 'Potter' person? Surely the man was confused. He thought about correcting him. He was Freak, not Potter. But no, that wouldn't do any good. Another rule, never correct an adult. Even when you know they're wrong.

Freak didn't move. He didn't know this man. Who was he? Where did he want to take Freak?

"Go with him Harry dear." Aunt Petunia said. Freak was only confused further, who was Harry? Who was Potter? He looked around and only saw Aunt Petunia, the man, and himself.

"What are you waiting for boy, a written invitation? Come along now!" The man said. Freak could tell he was getting angry, so he quickly followed the man out of the house, risking a peek at Aunt Petunia. She wore a look that said, 'tell him anything and I'll hold your head under water a little too long'.

Suddenly the man grabbed Freak's shoulder and it felt like they were getting squeezed through a tube of toothpaste. Then he was on the ground dry heaving, there wasn't anything in his stomach to push out.

"Stand up!" The man commanded. "It isn't that bad." Freak stood quickly and followed the man. Freak didn't dare look up, but out of the corner of his eye he could see a lot of people, all wearing weird clothes and were holding sticks.

Their first stop was a place Freak couldn't remember what it was called, but it was a bank. The man said it was a bank for wizards. Freak swallowed the urge to tell the man that there was no such thing as wizards.

Freak was having his doubts though when he saw the inside. There were little..creatures inside, with pointy teeth and long nails. Freak wanted to ask what they were, but he knew that was out so he just stuck close to the man.

Then when they were standing in front of the vault the man gave Freak a little shove towards the money.

"Well go on a get some." The man snapped. Freak looked at the huge pile of money and shook his head. Surely it was a trick. The money was for this, Potter person, not Freak. And once the Potter person realized that Freak took his money, Freak would be in for it. He would have to just tell the man that he had the wrong person.

He opened his mouth to say something when the man sighed irritably and walked passed, taking some money and putting it in a bag thing and handed it to Freak. Freak didn't take it.

"Take it!" The man almost yelled. Freak shook in fear and reached out and took the bag. "Let's go." The man growled.

When they were back outside again the man turned to Freak. "Have you got your list?" The man demanded. List? What list? Freak felt panic rise in his stomach, he didn't have a list.

"Oh, right." The man said, pulling something out of his pocket. He handed it to Freak. Freak took it carefully and noticed it was a letter, the same letter that had been showing up everyday at number four.

"Well open it!" Harry jumped and opened the letter and started reading. He had to read it a couple of times before he could understand any of it. From what the letter said, it was for a 'Harry Potter', who was to attend a school for witches and wizards, called Hogwarts, to study magic.

Freak almost threw the letter down. It had the 'M' word written on it. If Uncle Vernon ever saw him holding a letter with the 'M' word on it, he'd get beat for sure. Instead he turned to the next one, it was a list. This must be the list the man was talking about.

Uncertainly, Freak held out the list to the man, hoping it was what he wanted. The man made no move to take it, so Freak risked a glance at his face. The man had black, greasy hair, a hooked nose, and eyes filled with loathing and hate.

"Why are you giving it to me?" The man sneered. Freak slowly pulled his arm back. "Come on, we'll get your books first." Freak hesitated. He wasn't allowed to have books. He had gotten caught reading one of Dudley's books a couple years ago, they made sure he'd never touch one of them again.

Freak had no idea what to do when they entered the book shop, there were so many books.

"Over here, Potter." The man snapped. He picked out all the books that Freak would need and handed them to Freak. "Go pay."

Freak could do that, It was a direct command. So holding the stack of books, he went to the counter. when the man stated the price, Freak's stomach dropped. The money was different there.

"Merlin's beard, you're Harry Potter!" The man stated. Freak's eyes widened and he started backing away. Why did everyone think he was Harry Potter? He wasn't, he was Freak!

"Potter, have you payed?" The man demanded. Freak shook his head. The man sighed and snatched the money away from Freak, and proceeded to pay for the books.

The rest of the day went like that. They would go to some shop, people would call him 'Harry Potter' and the man would pay for whatever they were buying.

Freak wanted to tell the man that he wasn't Harry Potter, just Freak. He knew the consequences of lying, but he wasn't actually lying, was he? Everyone seemed to think he was Harry Potter, so Freak wondered if he could just pretend he was. Obviously nobody would realize that he wasn't. Until the real Harry Potter came along.

Before he knew it, they were squeezed through the tube again and they were standing outside of number four, with Harry Potter's trunk.

"Well? Go in!" The man growled. Freak dragged the trunk up to the front step and knocked on the door.

"Potter, why are you knocking on the door to your own house?" The man asked. Freak figured the man was confused. He didn't live there, his aunt, uncle, and Dudley did. He was just the freak. The door opened and Uncle Vernon stood behind it.

"Freak!" He started to yell but then saw the man, "Who're you?"

"This letter should explain everything." The man said handing Uncle Vernon a letter. Uncle Vernon was turning purple in the face and Freak shrunk back.

"I'll be going now, good day, Mr. Potter." The man said, turned around, and with a crack, was gone.

"Get into the house, Freak." Vernon growled dangerously. Freak tightened his grip on the trunk and marched inside. The next thing he knew, Freak was pinned to the wall, Vernon breathing in his face.

"You don't deserve this stuff." Vernon growled. "You don't deserve to go to school, let alone a freak school." Freak school? Freak didn't know that there was a school for freaks. What was he if he didn't even deserve to go to a school for freaks?

"You don't deserve to eat, or the air you breathe. You don't deserve to live under my roof and ear my food. You're a filthy, disgusting, stupid, useless freak. you'd do good to remember that." Freak nodded. He would remember, he got told it every day. He didn't think he could ever forget.

"Good." Vernon dropped him and kicked him to the ground. Freak watched Uncle Vernon take off his belt. "Take off your shirt." he growled. Freak was quick to comply, it was never good to resist.

Freak had barely had the shirt off before he felt the fist blow against his back. Freak bit his lip to keep from crying out. Uncle Vernon hit him over and over again, until he could feel the blood running down his back.

Then Uncle Vernon put the belt down and started kicking Freak. Freak could feel his ribs cracking and he gave up trying to block it. When it was finally over, Uncle Vernon grabbed Freak by the arm and dragged him to the cupboard. He threw Freak in, then the trunk.

The trunk landed on Freak's abdomen, breaking the ribs that were already cracked. Freak decided that just for awhile, he would pretend to be this, 'Harry Potter' person. Consequences be damned, if he could go to freak school and get away for awhile, it was worth it.


	3. Meeting Other Freaks

**Warning: There is a graphic child abuse up a head. To me it's a bit more graphic than the other scenes and it even made me a little sick to write it.**

**Shattered Illusions Chapter Three: Meeting Other Freaks**

Freak was laying in his cupboard like usual, it was early morning and he was waiting for Aunt Petunia to unlock the door so he could start making breakfast. It wasn't so bad in the cupboard this time, because they remembered to open the vent.

When it got to stuffy, he was able to put his face next to it for a bit. He was careful not to let Uncle Vernon see him like that though, or the vent would be closed. Suddenly there was a banging on the door.

"Up! Freak, get up!" His aunt screeched, unlocking the door. Freak got slowly to his feet, he hurt from the latest beating, and left the cupboard.

"Get in there and make breakfast." She commanded. "You will make eggs, toast, and bacon." Freak nodded and walked passed her and into the kitchen. Uncle Vernon was already there reading the paper.

"Freak! Get me some coffee!" Vernon growled, Freak nodded and went to the coffee pot and started to pour some into his uncle's favorite mug. Freak wasn't careful enough, and a couple of drops landed on his hand. It hurt and Freak had to bit his lip and only being burnt many times made it so he didn't automatically jerk away.

Freak gave his uncle the coffee and then pulled out two pans and set them on the stove then turned it on. Then he went to the cupboard to pull out the bread and set it on the counter by the toaster, then pulled out the eggs and the package of bacon.

He always started the bacon first because it took so long. He found that if you put it on a low heat it makes the bacon not shrink down as much and it got Uncle Vernon off his back. Vernon really liked his bacon and so did Dudley.

When the bacon was half way done he turned to start the eggs. His fingers were really sore from Dudley stomping on them and it was hard to crack the eggs properly. To his horror he noticed that there was a small fleck of shell that had fallen in pan and landed on the eggs.

The shell landed just on the yolk and that's where the problem was. If he just stuck his finger in he could risk breaking the yolk, and that was bad. Freak was about to try to get it out with a fork when Uncle Vernon came behind him and saw it.

"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" Vernon yelled, grabbing his hair and smashing his face into the counter. "Can't. You. Do. Anything. Right?" In between every word, he hit his face into the counter again.

"Vernon dear, it's only a tiny bit of shell..." Petunia said softly. Freak's eyes widened, Aunt Petunia had never defended him before. Even he knew he deserved to be hit, he really should have been more careful.

"I'll teach the little freak to misbehave!" He yelled pulling Freak off the counter. He grabbed Freak's hand and Freak knew what was going to happen. He started pulling away, whimpering softly.

"Don't you pull away, you know you deserve it!" Vernon said and put Freak's whole hand in the boiling bacon grease. Freak screamed and shrieked and tried to pull away but Vernon kept it there.

"I really think you're being to harsh." Petunia tried, wringing her hands.

"NO! STOP! HURTS! PLEASE!" Freak screamed. Vernon pulled Freaks hand out.

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT TALKING?" Vernon bellowed. Freak was shaking with such force his teeth chattered together and he couldn't stand. "MAYBE THIS WILL TEACH YOU!" He threw Freak onto the ground and took the pan with the still boiling grease off the burner and brought it to Freak's face.

"Open up!" Vernon commanded, Freak clamped his mouth closed, still whimpering and crying.

"Vernon you can't do that, you could damage his vocal cords and he'll never talk again." Petunia said firmly. Vernon ignored her and poured a small bit on Freak's cheek. Freak gasped in pain and Vernon used that time to pour the rest into his mouth.

Freak thrashed his head back and fourth and used his tongue to push the grease away from his throat. The grease burned a trail from the corners of his Freak's mouth down his cheek and all over his chin and neck. Thankfully not much got down his throat, but Freak was screaming loud enough to wake the dead.

Vernon slapped Freak across the face. "Shut up!" He screamed. Freak turned his head to see Petunia throwing up into the sink before falling into a much welcome darkness.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Harry."

Freak groaned, he was in so much pain.

"Harry, wake up."

Freak groaned again. It was somebody asking for that, 'Harry' person again. He didn't want to deal with it right then.

"Freak, wake up." The voice said again and then Freak realized that it was Aunt Petunia.

_ Oh no! I'm in for it now! _Freak thought. _I fell asleep during a punishment! _Freak's eye's snapped open and he tried to sit up.

"No, just stay like that." Petunia said. "I just need you to swallow these pills. It will help with the pain a little bit." Freak tried to open his mouth, but any movement hurt way to much. Tears spilled silently out of his eyes as Petunia pulled his lips apart and pushed the pills inside.

Freak's tongue was almost to swollen to swallow the pills and water that she poured into his mouth. He choked and sputter on the water and some dribbled down his chin, somewhat soothing the burns that were there.

"I am so sorry, Harry." Petunia whispered. "I never meant for it to get this bad." Freak looked at her weirdly, _was Aunt Petunia confused as well as everyone else? _Freak decided that she must be, why else would she think he was Harry?

Suddenly Freak had a tickle in his throat and his eyes widened. He had to cough, but he knew it would hurt really bad if he did, so he tried to suppress it. it didn't work and he started coughing, the cough rattling and jarring his broken ribs.

Freak felt something collecting in his mouth. He couldn't taste what it was so he turned his face slowly, letting the liquid drip out of his mouth. It was blood. He shivered and closed his eyes.

"I really hate to say it, and don't tell your uncle, but if you can use your ma-freakish powers I will let you." Petunia said. Freak opened his eyes a bit and looked at her, she looked sincere. He didn't know what to do. Freakish powers? He didn't really see how that would help. Unless she meant to hide the burns?

But Freak didn't know how to do that, it usually just happened. Freak looked away and closed his eyes. He just wanted to slip into Darkness again. After a few moments he was startled when he felt something cold on his neck.

Freak opened his eyes to see his aunt putting some type of creme on his burns.

"It wont make it go away, but it will help it heal." She explained. Suddenly Freak remembered his hand and realized that he couldn't feel it. Panicked he turned his head and looked for it.

His hand was in a bowl of ice water, and he couldn't feel it or move it. He shot a scared glance at his aunt.

"With it in cold water it will help it not swell as much and it will sooth it." She said. "Grease burns keep burning even after it's been wiped away."

Freak shuddered.

"Go a head and go to sleep." His aunt said. He did gladly.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When Freak woke up again he was back inside his cupboard. Then he remembered the happenings from the day before. Freak lifted his head and looked at his hand, he could still feel the burns, but his hand showed no evidence of them ever being there.

He winced as he sat up and looked himself over. From what Freak could tell, there weren't any injuries showing at all. His tongue was so swollen though he wouldn't be able to eat or talk. But it was ok, it's not like he ever did those things anyway.

Suddenly the door opened and he shrunk away, trying to push himself into the wall.

"Come on out Freak." Petunia said. "What happened to your burns? Are they gone?" Freak shook his head.

"But I don't see any." Freak gave her a look, as if pleading for her to believe him. "Hiding again?" She asked, her hands on her hips. Freak nodded slowly.

"Well, come out and have breakfast." Freak winced as he stood and limped out of the cupboard. He followed his aunt to the kitchen and immediately went to the stove, seeing it so soon sent more shivers down his spine.

"No, come sit down." Petunia said softly. Freak was confused, he had never sat at the table before. He shook his head, pleading.

"It's ok, we will eat before Vernon comes down." She said. "I wont tell. You will need your strength today." Freak's stomach dropped, that probably meant there were extra chores. He was sure he did deserve it, falling asleep during a punishment and all.

"You leave for school." She continued, putting a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of him. Freak's eyes widened. _School and food? It was too good to be true._

"Go ahead and eat." She urged. Freak looked at the food, he wasn't sure if he could stomach it. His mouth hurt from the burns and he hadn't eaten in weeks. He picked up the fork with his good hand (left) and glance at the clock. It was ten after five in the morning. Uncle Vernon would be up in a twenty minutes.

Freak stabbed the smallest egg he could find and slowly popped it into his mouth. The pain was almost excruciating the chew, so he just swallowed it. It made his stomach growl in protest so he put the fork down and shook his head.

"Can't finish it?" Petunia asked. Freak shook his head and waited for the blow to come. When it didn't, he lifted his head to have a look. Aunt Petunia was pouring a glass of milk. She came over and set it in front of him.

"If you can't eat, then at least drink this." She said softly. Freak nodded and picked it up with his left hand, and brought it to his lips. It was cold so it soothed, but it hurt to swallow it. After getting the first swallow, he didn't care if it hurt, he was really thirty. He drank the whole glass as fast as he could.

He placed his hand on his now over stuffed stomach and sighed. The milk really was good. It had been a couple years since he had anything to drink other than water.

"It's time to go back to the cupboard now." Petunia said standing. "I'll get you when it's time to go to school." Freak nodded and limped to the cupboard. Petunia left the air vent open.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

After hours spent in the cupboard Freak's legs started to get sore and was almost relieved when he heard, "FREAK!" It immediately squashed into fear when the door swung open and his uncle grabbed his hair and pulled him out.

Uncle Vernon shoved him against the wall. "It's time to bring you to the train station now so you can go to the freak school." He hissed. "If you tell any of the other freaks about what we've done to you, you will regret it. Understand?" Freak nodded quickly.

"Repeat what I said." his uncle grinned evilly. Freak swallowed the lump of fear that showed up.

"Repeat. What. I said." Vernon growled.

"No Tew other fweaks." Freak croaked Vernon was still grinning with a mad look in his eye.

"What have I told you about talking?" Vernon hissed dangerously.

"For heavens sake Vernon! Put him down, isn't it bad enough you burned him with grease?" Petunia asked.

"He deserved to die with his worthless parents." Vernon growled, dropping Freak onto the ground. "Get your trunk." Freak got up and went to his cupboard to retrieve his trunk.

When they got to the train station Vernon handed him a piece of paper. "Your ticket." He growled. Freak looked at it and frowned in confusion. 9 3/4. He was pretty sure that didn't exist.

"Get out." His uncle hissed. Freak got out and pulled his trunk out with him. He had barely shut the door before they drove off. Leaving Freak alone. He shook his head and started walking. He had found platform nine and ten, but not nine and three quarters.

Freak just wanted to sink to the ground and cry, but then he heard someone say something about 'muggles'. He faintly remember the man that took him shopping use that word. So he followed them. The whole lot of them had red hair and he watched stunned at the first one just ran at the wall and disappeared. Two more red heads went through before the lady noticed him.

"Do you need help dear?" She asked him. Freak didn't know what to say. He was never allowed to ask for help before, but maybe it was ok with other freaks? He nodded.

"Alright dear, just go straight through. Best take it at a bit of a run if your nervous." She said. "it's Ron's first time too." The boy next to her grinned happily. Freak smiled and nodded, then ran at the wall. He closed his eyes and waited for the impact but it never came.

It took him quite awhile to find a compartment, but then he lucked out and found an empty one. He opened it and sat down on the seat and looked out the window. A smile slowly formed on his face, he was getting away from the Dursley's. He was going to a school for Freaks.

He was interrupted when the red head boy came in. "Do you mind if I sit here? Everywhere else is full." Freak shook his head and motioned for him to sit down.

"Ron Weasley." He said, "What's your name?"


	4. Friends, Feasts, and Sorting

****Shattered Illusions Chapter Four: Friends, Feasts, and Sorting****

Freak blinked. __Ron Weasley? But that was like a normal person's name.__ Freak worried his lip between his teeth, was he in the wrong place? He always thought that since he was a freak, and his name was Freak, that other freaks would be named Freak as well. Uncle Vernon said that Freaks didn't deserve normal names.

But then again, Freak never really thought about other freaks, or if there were any. He thought maybe his parents were freaks, and that's why he was a freak. Kind of like Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were Dursley's so Dudley was a Dursley as well.

Freak looked at the boy. Ron didn't really look like a freak. He had clothes that fit him and he was skinny, but not as skinny as himself. His hair and skin wasn't dirty like his, and he didn't have a hideous scar on his forehead.

Aunt Petunia always told him that only freaks had scars like his. That always confused him. He got his from a car crash, so did that mean that all freaks were in car crashes? Or that maybe everyone that was in a car accident was a freak? But the thing was, he never saw anybody else with a lightning bolt scar. Deep down in the deepest pits of his subconscious, he always just thought he was alone. The only freak.

"Hello?" Ron asked, waving a hand in front of Freak. "Are you in there?" Freak looked a bit worried, what was he supposed to do? He couldn't say anything! But then Ron gasped.

"You're Harry Potter!" Ron exclaimed, "I can see the scar!" Freak looked shocked and confused until Ron pointed to his forehead. Freak looked away ashamed, he knew the scar was ugly but he couldn't get rid of it. But then he realized something.

Ron thought he was Harry Potter because of the scar. Did that mean that Harry Potter had the same scar? Harry Potter was also a freak?

"You ok?" Ron asked. "You're really quiet." Freak nodded.

"Can you talk?" Ron asked curiously. Freak hesitated. He could say simple things like 'yes' and 'no', he couldn't talk in big sentences and he couldn't pronounce his R's. He also know he wasn't supposed to talk, and when he did he would be in huge trouble. Obviously he was more freakish than Ron and the other kids. He was way shorter, only coming to Ron's armpit or so, and he was just...freakish. The others were allowed to talk, but he wasn't.

He wondered if Ron knew he was sitting with and talking to a freak. __If he did, would Ron still sit here?__ Freak supposed he would, only because there was nowhere else. Ron had even said that there wasn't anywhere else. That meant that he tried to sit else where, but with no room, he had to sit with Freak. Ron must have known he was a freak.

Finally Freak nodded. He could talk after all, he was just really bad at it and he wasn't allowed to.

"Well why don't you then?" Freak didn't know what to do! Obviously Ron didn't realize that he wasn't supposed to talk. Either that or Ron really did realize and he wanted to get Freak in trouble. Dudley used to do that. Freak decided to shrug, that should get him off Freak's case.

"You know, you're not quite how I imagined Harry Potter to be like." Ron said after about twenty minuets of silence. Freak's eyes widened. __Ron was starting to get suspicious! They would realize that he wasn't Harry Potter and send him back. __Freak slumped.

"Oh, it's not a bad thing." Ron frowned, "I just thought you would be more...well, less shy. Louder I guess. And taller." Freak looked at Ron apologetically. Ron shrugged.

A minute later, "Are you excited about school?" Ron asked. Freak smiled a bit and nodded enthusiastically. Then pointed to Ron and put his hands up as if to say, "You?" Ron laughed and said, "Yeah! What house do you think you'll be in? I think I'll be in Gryffindor." Freak shot Ron a confused look.

"Don't tell me you don't know about the houses!" Ron exclaimed. Freak shook his head slowly.

"Well, it's said that Gryffindors are brave and daring. They value nerve and chivalry too." Ron said thoughtfully, "Hufflepuffs are hardworking, patient and loyal. Ravenclaws are really smart, and Slytherin...Well let's just hope your not in Slytherin." Freak looked confused.

"It's said that not a single witch or wizard that went bad wasn't in Slytherin." Ron said quietly. "You-Know-Who was a Slytherin." __Who was You-Know-Who? __Ron looked surprised, "Surely you know who You-Know-Who was!" Freak shook his head, feeling stupid.

"He gave you that scar!" Ron exclaimed. "He killed your parents!" Freak's mouth fell open but then closed it, remembering that they weren't talking about him, they were talking about Harry Potter. They went back to silence.

Awhile later Ron chuckled. "You're a quiet one but I like you." He said. Freak felt his heart flutter. Nobody had ever said anything so nice to him. "Want to be friends?" Freak's eyes widened. He had never had a friend before! Well, except the snake he found in the garden once, but Uncle Vernon killed him.

Freak nodded quickly, a grin on his face. He was quite excited but he made himself squash it down a little. He knew that once they found out that he wasn't Harry Potter, they'd send him away. Freak was preparing himself for the disappointment.

Suddenly their door slid open and a bushy haired girl came in. "Have you seen a toad? A boy named Neville lost his." They both shook their heads 'no'. "Hey, you're Harry Potter!" She exclaimed and plopped down on the seat across from him.

"I'm Hermione Granger." She said and then turned to Ron. "And you are?"

"Um. Ron Weasley." Ron said.

"Pleasure." She said a bit sarcastically. "You should get your robes on, I suspect we will be arriving soon." Then she was gone. Ron looked at Freak in confusion, Freak shrugged his shoulders.

When they got off the train, they were greeted by a huge man with shaggy hair and a beard. "First years this way! First years!" They all followed the giant into boats. Harry didn't like the boat, he never learned to swim and after the couple of times Aunt Petunia held his head underwater, he was afraid.

The fear soon vanished when he saw the castle. It was huge and beautiful. Freak blinked and rubbed his eyes, surely it was a dream. He was probably in his cupboard sleeping. But it was a dream he never wanted to wake up from.

Freak was in awe when they entered the castle, there were ghosts and the paintings on the walls moved. Ron grinned excitedly at Freak when a woman stopped them in front of the door.

"I'm Professor McGonagall. If you'll wait here a moment, please." She said, then walked through the doors. They all stopped and the crowd burst into excited talking.

"So it's true then!" A voice said loudly, causing everyone to stop talking. "Harry Potter's come to Hogwarts." Everyone gasped. "I'm Draco Malfoy." Ron snorted.

"Think my name's funny, do you?" Malfoy asked, "No need to ask who you are. Red hair and a hand me down robe, you must be a Weasley." Freak felt a surge of anger, how dare he say mean things about his friend! Freak started listening again. "You don't want to go around making friends with the wrong sort, I can help you there." Malfoy put his hand out and Freak jumped back, eyes wide.

Freak wasn't sure what the blonde boy was doing, he didn't understand why his hand was out like that. Was he going to hit Freak? He didn't get to find out because the stern looking woman came back and tapped Malfoy with a scroll.

Malfoy was red with rage, a look Freak remembered quite well from Uncle Vernon.

"We're ready for you now." McGonagall said, leading them into the room. Freak's mouth dropped open. The room was huge. There were long tables filled with older students and another table with people, who Freak was sure were the teachers.

McGonagall had them stop in front of a wooden stool with a hat on it, Freak looked at it curiously. First the hat started singing, much to Freak's surprise. Then the McGonagall called a name and the person went up, then McGonagall put the hat on the person's head.

After a couple of seconds the hat called, 'Gryffindor!' and the person went to the Gryffindor table. A couple more people got called up and sorted, a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff, before Freak understood that the hat was sorting them. Soon Hermione and Ron were both sorted into Gryffindor and Malfoy was sorted into Slytherin.

Freak shook his head, he didn't want to be sorted into Slytherin, even if it didn't have bad people. Malfoy was there and he had a feeling they wouldn't get along. Somehow, the blond reminded him of Dudley. And while being at school, pretending to be Harry Potter, he didn't want to be reminded of his home life. He knew he was going to have go back and that was bad enough.

Suddenly 'Harry Potter' was called and someone shoved him from behind. Everybody was leaning on their seats waiting, it made Freak uncomfortable. He shuffled over to the stool and sat down, McGonagall placed the hat on his head. The hat murmured in his ear.

__"Plenty of courage I see...A thirst to prove yourself...But where to put you?" __Harry closed his eyes and wished for anything but Slytherin. __"Not Slytherin? Are you sure? It could help you along the way to greatness, no doubt about that. No? Well, better be __Gryffindor!__"__

The Great hall burst into cheers and the hat was taken off. Freak felt something weird, and it made him smile. He walked quickly to the Gryffindor table with the rest and sat down next to Ron. He was uncomfortable within minutes, everybody wanted to touch him and kept sticking their hands out and he didn't know what to do when that happened.

Soon the sorting was done and the Headmaster made his speech, talking about something called the 'Forbidden Forest' and the third floor. When he was done the table filled with a huge amount of delicious looking food. Freak watched as everybody dug in happily. He wished he could have some as well, but he knew he wasn't allowed.

"Why aren't you eating?" Ron asked with a mouthful of food. Freak wrinkled his nose, Aunt Petunia would kill him if he acted like that when he got food.

"Harry?" Ron asked. Freak looked at him. "Why aren't you eating? Aren't you hungry?" Freak knew that lying never got him anywhere, so he nodded his head reluctantly.

"Take some food then, go on!" Ron urged. Freak didn't move so Ron put a lump of mashed potatoes on his plate along with a chicken leg. Freak looked at Ron worriedly, then looked up at the teachers. None of them seemed to notice so he smiled his thanks to Ron, who nodded for him to eat it.

Freak picked up his fork and scooped a bit of potatoes onto it carefully, then slowly put it into his mouth. It hurt, but the taste was so wonderful his mouth started watering for more. It was so much better than any of the food he got at the Dursley's. After another bite he looked up at the teachers to see if any of them were angry with him.

Freak caught the eye of the black haired man from the shopping trip. The man's eyes held such intense loathing that it made Freak's skin prickle. His scar started to ache and he brought his hand up to rub it, looking away from the man.

"So Harry, are you excited to start classes?" Hermione asked him. To be honest, he wasn't. Freak was nervous. He had never been to school before. He had taught himself to read small words and he had taught himself some math, but he couldn't write. Freak guessed that everyone else there knew how to write and read and do maths and everything, it was something that you start learning at a young age. If you're not a Freak that is.

Freak did know a little bit of sign language though. Ms. Fig had a book on it and when she baby sat him, she'd let him learn from it. Ms. Fig knew he couldn't talk, so she helped him communicate to her. He forgot most of it though, because his aunt and uncle stopped letting him go over there a couple of years prior.

"Harry?" Hermione asked, waving her hand in front of his face, "Aren't you excited." Freak shook his head a bit.

"Why not?" She asked, "Learning is great!" Freak stared at her. __How could he answer that with body movements?__

"He doesn't talk." Ron said for him.

"What? Is he mute?" Hermione asked curiously.

"I don't know." Ron said. They both looked at him. Freak didn't know if he was mute or not, so he shrugged his shoulders.

"Well try to say something!" Hermione urged. Freak's heart was beating quickly, he knew he wasn't supposed to talk. His uncle still hadn't punished him for talking right before they left. But he couldn't ignore a direct order, no matter who made it.

Freak opened his mouth but nothing came out. He was so afraid, he couldn't make any noise come out, let alone words!

"Merlin, I think you are mute!" Ron exclaimed. "Does your family know your mute?"

"Of course they know, Ron!" Hermione said, "How could they not? They live with him!"

"Do you know sign language?" Hermione asked. Freak gave a small smile and signed, "Some."

"I know the basics." Hermione said. "I bet they have a book about it in the library. I'll look tomorrow after classes." Freak was shocked. __Had Hermione just offered to help him?__

"Thank you." Freak signed. Freak wasn't really mute, but he figured it's best to let them think he is. Besides, its not so scary to sign.

"You're welcome." Hermione said. "Though, I haven't heard of very many mute Wizards or Witches." Freak still smiled, he wasn't a wizard anyway, so it didn't matter.

Soon the feast was over with and they were all led to their dorms. Ron and Freak were by their beds and Ron was changing.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning, Harry." Ron said pulling the curtains around his bed. Freak looked back at the bed. He knew it wasn't for him, he didn't deserve a bed. He shrugged and put his pajamas on, then took some clothes with holes in them and went under the bed. He used the old clothes as a pillow and fell into a deep sleep.


	5. First Day of Classes

Shattered Illusions Chapter Five: First Day of Classes

When Freak woke up, he could feel something poking his arm and somebody was calling for Harry. He jumped when he realized that he was supposed to be Harry and he opened his eyes. He looked around wildly before he spotted who was poking him.

Ron was crouched by the side of the bed, his head under. "What are you doing under there?" He asked. Freak crawled out from under the bed and shrugged, giving a shy smile.

"Do you always sleep under your bed?" Ron asked. Freak shook his head. It was technically true, he never really slept under a bed, because there was never a bed to sleep under. Just a corner.

"Ok, well get dressed and meet me in the common room." Freak nodded, he could do that. After Ron left, Freak went to his trunk and got some clothes and went to the bathroom.

Freak cautiously looked into the mirror, a bit afraid of what he'd see. He breathed a sigh or relief when he saw that all his injuries were hiding again and quickly got dressed. Freak was about to put his old clothes down the dirty clothes chute when he noticed blood all over the inside.

He closely examined it and noticed that it was in the patters of his injuries, but his injuries were hiding, so Freak didn't understand how they could be bleeding. He shook his head and stuffed them into his trunk and went to the common room.

"C'mon Harry." Ron said once seeing Freak, "Let's go get some breakfast, I'm starved." Freak cocked his head, thinking. Starved? Freak vaguely remembering Ms. Figg using that word once to describe himself, but he didn't really know what it meant. So he nodded and they made their way to the Great Hall. They were one of the lasts to get there, and they took their spot at the Gryffindor table.

Freak was eyeing all the food on the table, there was every kind of breakfast type of food he could have ever imagined, but he took none. He had already eaten supper the night before, even though he knew he shouldn't have. He just couldn't help it, it had looked so good. Now Freak felt guilty.

"Aren't you hungry, Harry?" Ron asked, stuffing his face with egg. Freak shook his head. He was hungry, but he couldn't admit that now. He knew he was wrong for it, Freaks shouldn't eat that much. Ron shrugged and continued to eat.

Suddenly Hermione came up from behind Freak, causing him to jump. "I've picked up you classes." She said to them and handed them their papers, then walked from the Great Hall. Freak scanned the paper and frowned, he didn't recognize any of the classes. Of course they wouldn't have the same classes at a freak school than a normal school. Freak thought and put the paper in his pocket to wait for Ron to finish eating.

When Ron did finish almost he whole hall was empty. "Bloody hell." Ron said, jumping out of his seat, "We're going to be late for Transfiguration!" Freak felt his stomach drop, being late was never good, especially on his first day. They grabbed their bags and ran for it.

Not only did they leave late, but then they got lost along the way. When they finally found it Freak was shaking in fear, surely Professor McGonagall was not going to be happy with them.

"We made it." Ron said, happily panting. "Could you imagine McGonagall's face if she noticed we were late?" Freak didn't say anything, he was too busy looking at everyone else. Everyone was in their seats with their books open and were writing on parchment.

Suddenly the cat that was sitting on the desk jumped off and turned into their professor mid jump. Freak started shaking more, the professor didn't look very pleased.

"Whoa, bloody brilliant!" Ron said, Freak was horrified. When in trouble you don't say things like that, you apologize and hope you get off without a beating! McGonagall took a step closer and Freak started whimpering softly and put his hand in front of his face to protect himself.

"Sorry ma'am, we got lost." Ron said, noticing his friends fright.

"Well maybe I need to transfigure you into a map, I trust you don't need one to find your seats." She said, glaring.

"No ma'am." Ron said and pulled Freak to their seats.

"Calm down, Harry." Ron said worriedly. Freak was having trouble breathing. Everything was just to much! He had gotten friends, been fed, and haven't been beaten at all since being at Hogwarts, it was getting to much for Freak. He knew he deserved a beating, he had broken so many rules. The longer he had to wait, the harder it got. He didn't know what to do or how to act.

Finally he was able to calm himself and he pulled out his transfiguration book and some parchment. Then looked at Ron, to see what he was supposed to be doing. Ron caught him looking.

"Read through the chapter, then answer the questions at the end." Ron whispered, Freak nodded. That wasn't hard, except for answering the questions. He felt dread well up when he remembered that he never learned to write, but shook it away and started reading the chapter.

He got through it pretty quickly, but got stuck on some of the bigger words. When he did finish, he noticed almost everyone was either done or at least half way through their assignment. He swallowed and picked up his quill and looked at the parchment. He had to write his name.

Freak remembered that he would have to put, 'Harry Potter' instead of 'Freak' and tried to remember how it had looked on the envelope. He knew 'Harry' started with an 'H' and had an 'A' in it and an R. And he knew 'Potter' started with a 'P'. Eventually he put down, 'Hary Potr' and looked at it. It looked a little off, but not much so he smiled and was about to start the rest of the assignment, but McGonagall stopped them.

"I expect your assignments to be done by tomorrow, you're dismissed." Freak frowned slightly, he had hopped to get some of his assignment done. He shrugged and shoved his book and things into his book, and stood.

"I already finished my assignment." Hermione said. Ron rolled his eyes and mutter something that sounded like, 'Know-it-all.' "How much did you guys get done?" She asked.

"I got about half way through." Ron grumbled.

"What about you Harry?" Hermione asked. Freak looked away embarrassed.

"Name." He signed.

"You only got your name down?" Hermione frowned, "You really should work more on your studies." Freak nodded.

"Give him a break Hermione, it's the first day." Ron said.

"Yeah, but you don't want to get behind, do you?" Freak shook his head but Ron looked away annoyed.

The rest of the day until lunch went by pretty nice. After Transfiguration, they had Herbology then lunch, then after lunch they would have potions, then history of magic.

"Why aren't you eating?" Hermione asked Freak at lunch, Freak shrugged his shoulders.

"Aren't you hungry?" Freak hesitated. He was hungry, but he didn't dare say it, so he shook his head.

"Well, you should try to eat a little bit." She pressed. Freak nodded and picked up a roll. She watched him worriedly out of the corner of her eye for the rest of the meal but said nothing more.

"Come on, we've got to get to potions." Ron said once they finished lunch, "Don't want to be late for Snape's class. Heard he's a mean one."

When they first got to potions Professor Snape wasn't in yet and they took their seats. Ron was telling Freak about how mean and awful Professor Snape was, when the door banged open rather loudly, causing him to jump in his seat and start trembling. Everyone in the room straightened up.

He went through roll call, then began his speech. "You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making." Snape began. Freak sat on the edge of his chair, trying to take in every word. He wanted to learn about everything and didn't want to upset the professor.

"Potter!" Snape suddenly snapped, "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Freak swallowed and glanced at Ron and Hermione. Ron's eyes were wide and he looked lost, Hermione on the other hand, had her hand in the air.

Freak slowly shook his head, signaling that he didn't know.

"Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" A what?

Freak shrugged. Hermione was basically bouncing in her seat with her hand in the air.

"What's the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?" Snape asked coldly. Again, Freak shook his head.

"What's the matter? To good to speak up?" Snape asked. Freak was confused, why would he be too good? He knew he was bad, and that's why he wasn't allowed to talk. Freak shook his head.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor." Snape said and turned back to the rest of the class to continue teaching. The rest of potions class was terrible, Freak could feel the intense loathing whenever Snape looked at him, kind of like Uncle Vernon. He wondered what Harry Potter had done to make Snape so angry.

The rest of the day after that was fine, stressful, but fine. None of the other teachers had the hatred that Snape did. But they all paused at his name during role call and look at him, before continuing. A couple times he heard people calling his the 'famous Harry Potter' or The Boy Who Lived. Both of those titles confused him. Why was Harry famous? Because he lived? Why would that make him famous?

That evening he was in the common room with Hermione and Ron, working on assignments. Freak was still working on the one for McGonagall and Hermione and Ron were both finished with that one and were working on the essay for Snape.

Even though he was behind, Freak was a little proud of himself. For never writing before, it was coming along nicely. He often had to look in his books to see what some of the words and letters looked like, and it did look like chicken scratch, but it wasn't all that bad.

By the time he had finished all his assignments it was way passed bed time, Ron and Hermione had already gone to bed. Freak picked up all his book and put them in his bag, then went to his dorm. Freak put the bag at the foot of his bed and changed into some pajamas.

Freak had crawled under the bed and layed down. He tried to fall asleep, but his mind wouldn't stop thinking. He was worried and scared and excited about being at Hogwarts, he didn't know what to do with himself.

Freak had come from a home where he was kept in a cupboard, where he wasn't allowed to eat, or go to school. He wasn't allowed to even look at book (even though he did sometimes), or write anything. He hadn't been allowed to eat or speak, and now he had been put into a school where he was allowed to sleep under the bed, he was allowed to eat sometimes, and people talked to him.

Everything he had known had been turned upside down and nobody noticed the distress he was in. Nobody noticed there was anything wrong at all, they said he was shy and quiet, not realizing that he was terrified and mute.

Nobody, not even Freak, realized that night as he fell asleep, the change happening deep in his mind. Nobody noticed when 'Harry Potter' was born, and 'Freak' would be pushed to the back.

Harry wouldn't remember the abuse that he went through, he wouldn't remember being hit or belted, kicked and slapped. And subconsciously, Freak knew it was ok. That he was safe. Safe from having to deal with all the people, of having to eat, and sleep, and hopefully one day to talk.

Harry smiled as he finally fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	6. Three Headed Dogs

****Shattered Illusions Chapter Six: Hot Showers, Sign Language, and Three Headed Dogs****

Harry woke up early the next morning, Ron was still snoring softly on the bed next to him, so Harry decided to take a shower. He went and picked out clothes for the day and made his way to the showers. When he got there he stopped, somehow he knew he was only supposed to use cold water, but he wondered what it was like to use hot.

He bit his lip as he debated with himself. What could go wrong?

Harry finally made his decision and turned on the hot water and cold, making it warm. He quickly stripped his clothes and stepped in, gasping. Immediately his skin grew goose pimples all over and he shivered. The warm water was better than anything he imagined, he never wanted to leave.

Harry was sad when his shower was finished, for some reason he felt like he'd never be able to experience it again. He felt like it would be too risky. He quickly put his clothes on and left.

When Harry entered his dorm, Ron was just sitting up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Harry smiled and put his clothes through the chute.

"Mornin' Harry." Ron yawned. Harry tried to say 'good morning' back, but all that came out was a quiet croak.

"Merlin, I've never met anybody that couldn't talk." Ron said. "I thought maybe you were just too shy and didn't want to. But you really can't, can you?" Harry shook his head sadly.

"Well, that's ok. We will find a way for you to communicate." Ron said getting out of bed. "Wonder if Hermione ever went to the library to find a book on sign language." Harry shrugged and left to go wait in the common room.

When he entered, Hermione was already there. She was perched on the couch reading a book. Harry went up and sat down next to her.

'What book?' Harry signed hesitantly.

"Oh, hi Harry." Hermione said, "This is a book I found on sign language. They didn't really have anything there, but this one should be good enough. I already read half of it, sign language doesn't look too hard to learn. I'll give you the book tonight and you can read it, then I'll help you remember them. Maybe we can get Ron to learn as well, then there will be two people who you can talk to."

Harry nodded enthusiastically, just as Ron came down.

"Let's get breakfast, I'm starving." Ron said. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You're not starving, Ron." She said. "You're just really hungry."

"I guess." Ron responded. "Harry here must starving, look how skinny he is!"

"You really should start eating more." Hermione said, turning to him,"You are too skinny." Harry nodded, he'd have to keep that in mind. When they sat down, he put some eggs on his plate but didn't move to eat them.

It wasn't that he wasn't hungry, he was. Something just felt wrong about it.

"Go on Harry, why aren't you eating?" Ron asked, spraying crumbs through his mouth. Harry shrugged and picked up his fork, then began poking at the eggs on his plate. He looked up and saw the glare that Hermione was shooting at him.

'Eat.' She signed at him, then gave him a small smile. Harry looked back to his plate and stabbed a small piece, then popped it into his mouth. His tongue was slightly swollen and scarred, so he had to try to avoid certain parts when he ate. Harry ate three more bites before they went to class.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Over the next week Harry, Hermione, and Ron all became rather close. Ron and Hermione seemed to have issues with each other. Ron thought Hermione was an annoying know-it-all, and Hermione was annoyed with Ron's study habits and how he ate, always talking through a mouthful of food.

Harry liked both of them a lot. Sure, sometimes Hermione could be annoying, but she helped him with learning more signs. They both had memorized most of the book she borrowed, and Harry was pretty fluent. There were still quite a bit of words he didn't know, but for those he just spelled it out if he could.

His writing improved a little bit. He tried to do better with that than anything else, especially after he got yelled at by his teachers. McGonagall and Snape mostly.

__~Flashback~__

__Harry was sitting in Transfiguration next to Ron. McGonagall had given them an assignment from the book and Harry was almost done. Ron, having finished his already, was turned around in his seat talking to Seamus and Dean. Hermione however, trying to get ahead in her work, was already reading into the next chapter.__

__Harry had his tongue sticking out a little as he tried to concentrate on steadying his shaking hand. It had always had a tremor in it, but lately it was getting worse and made his already bad handwriting, almost unreadable.__

__"Mr. Potter." He heard from behind him. Harry turned slowly to see an angry looking McGonagall, she was holding up one of his assignments. "Is this some kind of joke?" Harry shook his head, he didn't understand.__

__"I'm not laughing." McGonagall growled, completely ignoring Harry's attempts to make her see. "I can't even read this." Harry felt tears prickling his eyes. He had spent the whole night working on his writing.__

__"Detention tonight with Mr. Filch." She snapped. Harry bowed his head and tried willing his tears away.__

Potions was even worse.

__Snape had just dismissed class and Harry was quickly gathering his things together when Snape stopped him.__

__"Stay after Mr. Potter." Snape growled. Harry swallowed and went up to Snape's desk. Once everyone was gone, Snape pulled out some parchment, looking furious.__

__"What is this?" He growled, holding it up. Harry scanned it, it was his assignment from the day before. He turned his head in shame.__

__"Your assignment, I assume?" Snape growled again. Harry nodded, not daring to look Snape in the face.__

__"This is disgraceful, it looks like a three year old wrote it!" Snape yelled, tearing the parchment in half. "You cannot even spell your own name right? What, too good to have to learn?" Harry shook his head. He knew his writing was bad.__

__"Detention on Saturday." Snape snapped, "Get out." Harry turned and grabbed his bag, then ran as fast as he could away.__

__He had survived both detentions. With Filch he had to clean the trophy room, with Snape he got stuck scrubbing cauldrons with a tooth brush.__

__~End flashback~__

Harry shook his head. He had finally asked Hermione how to spell his name, so he could get that right at least. At first she was a bit shocked that he didn't know, especially when it was such an easy name. Harry had just told her that he was slow in the head and Hermione nodded in understanding. Harry felt so stupid, especially when he saw it written and how easy it was.

For classes so far they really hadn't done anything that required talking, most of the work was essays and assignment from the books, so none of his teachers realized that he couldn't talk.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Today we will be Transfiguring a piece of straw into a needle, I've already told you all the spell, so let's so who can do it correctly at the end of the class period." McGonagall said, then went to her desk.

All around him students were pointing their wands at their straw muttering. Nobody seemed to be getting it except Hermione, who got it on the second try.

"Very well Miss Granger!" McGonagall said. "Ten points to Gryffindor." Harry turned back to his and pointed his wand, then thought the spell. Nothing happened. He tried again and again.

"Mr. Potter, you have to actually say it." McGonagall snapped. Harry blushed and looked away until she left. Throughout the rest of the class, Harry could feel McGonagall's eyes on him, watching and waiting. For what, Harry didn't know.

Ten minutes before the end of the class Harry's straw had finally turned into a needle. He grabbed Ron's sleeve and showed his needle to his friend proudly.

"You get it finally Harry?" Ron asked smiling, "Good job, wordlessly?" Harry nodded. Suddenly McGonagall came up behind him.

"Turn it back." She suggested. "I'm not sure you actually did it, I didn't hear you utter a single word." Harry frowned and his excitement died. It took him the whole class time to turn it to a needle, he wasn't sure if he could turn it back.

He swallowed and pointed his wand, and attempted to turn it back. He turned his head in shame after three tires.

"As I thought. Twenty points from Gryffindor for cheating, a zero for the day, and a detention with Professor Snape tonight." McGonagall said.

"But Professor-" Ron tried.

"Not another word Mr. Weasley, unless you want a detention as well?" Ron shut his mouth quickly. McGonagall turned back to Harry. Harry felt sadness and disappointment well up. He knew he had turned the needle, he had done it right. But it still wasn't good enough. Harry looked up and flinched, McGonagall looked absolutely furious. Her face was even purple.

Harry felt emotional pain and fear well up, though he didn't know where the fear came from. Nobody noticed Harry slip away.

"There is one thing that I do not tolerate Mr. Potter, and that it cheating." She growled, taking a step towards Freak. Freak felt tears of fear well up in his eyes, but he sat absolutely still.

"What would your parents think?" She demanded, and that did it, the tears finally burned their way down Freak's face. "They would be ashamed of you." Freak held back a sob. "Lily was such a good student, so was your father. I don't know where you got it, but it wasn't from either of them. They would be horrified to see what you've become. Cheating indeed!" She finally turned away.

"Class dismissed." She snapped. Everyone in the room scrambled to get their stuff together and leave. Freak grabbed his stuff and ran, he hear Ron and Hermione calling after him, but he didn't stop, or even slow. He didn't stop until he made it to a bathroom out of the way.

Freak ran in and went to the corner, then sank to the floor crying silently.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was almost a month before any of his teacher mentioned anything to him again. McGonagall continued to think Harry cheated whenever he got a spell right. Flitwick seemed accept his muteness, and was quite happy when Harry was able to do the charms wordlessly.

Snape continued to be horrible to Harry, and only got worse to him over time. He would find any little thing to give Harry detention and take points for. After a particularly potion lesson, Ron and Hermione found Harry curled up in a corner of the bathroom, eyes red and puffy.

They stayed with him for a long time, talking to him and trying to calm him. By the time they left, it was after curfew.

The castle was cold at night, and it looked different. It was hard to find their way back and they ended up getting lost.

"Where are we?" Ron asked shivering. Harry shrugged, looking around as the torches lit around them. "It's kind of creepy, like we're not supposed to be here..."

"That's because we aren't supposed to be here!" Hermione said suddenly, "This is the third floor! It's forbidden!" Then she went on mumbling to herself about getting expelled and breaking rules. Suddenly Harry tripped over something. They looked down, it was Mrs. Norris.

"It's Mrs. Norris!" Ron said paling, "And-"

"Wherever she is, Filch is close by." Hermione finished for him. Suddenly they heard Filch's voice calling out. They panicked and ran down the hall, and tried to enter a door. It was locked so Hermione unlocked it with magic and they entered.

Harry was the first to notice what was in the room, but he was too frozen in fear to do anything. Slowly Ron and Hermione turned around and stopped dead. Then as if on cue, they all screamed loudly. Except Harry, his scream came out like a strangled gurgle. The three headed dog on the inside started growling and they spun around and flew out, slamming the door and locking it.

"Bloody hell." Ron muttered, "What's Dumbledore thinking?"

"It's guarding something." Hermione said.

"What? How did you know?" Ron asked.

"Didn't you see what it was standing on?" Hermione asked.

'I was looking at the heads' Harry signed.

"Yeah, in case you didn't realize, there were three!" Ron exclaimed. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"He was standing on a door." She said, then muttered the password. Harry hadn't even realized that they had made it back already.

"Now, before you come up with more ideas to get us expelled, I'm going to bed." She turned and left with a huff. Harry shrugged and he and Ron went up to go to bed.


	7. Flying and a Trip to the Hospital

****Shattered Illusions Chapter Seven: Flying and a Trip to the Hospital Wing****

It was a nice sunny day, and all the first years were outside waiting for Madam Hooch, they were about to have flying lessons. Harry was excited, he had a hard time believing that you could actually fly on brooms. The more Ron talked about flying and Quidditch, Harry was more and more interested.

Finally Madam Hooch showed up and she told them all to stand along side their brooms, hold your hand over it and say 'up'. Harry was a little worried. This morning he had managed to say his first word since coming to Hogwarts.

He had gotten up early and was sitting in the common room writing when Ron came in. Ron had said hello and Harry opened his mouth to say hello back, at first nothing came out. Harry's throat felt scratchy, so he cleared his throat again.

"Hi" Harry said. It sounded very hoarse and painful, and sounded more like, "I". It had sent Harry into a coughing fit, he covered his mouth in the inside of his elbow. When he was done he happened to glance down and noticed a small amount of blood. He had been puzzled but told nobody. Every attempt at talking, he bled. So he tried not to.

But now, he had to say 'Up' to his broom. He shook his head and held out his hand. Attempting to say 'up', he only managed something that sounded like, 'uh'. His broom shot to his hand anyway and his eyes widened. Everyone else was struggling. Hermione's broom just wiggled around on the ground and Ron's shot up and hit him in the face.

Then Madam Hooch told them to mount the brooms, but something with Neville's went wrong and his started rising. Neville tried to get it to go back down, Harry could tell he was scared, and Hooch wasn't happy. She kept telling him to come down, but Neville's broom started flying away.

It shot through the air really fast, and Neville was hanging on really tight, screaming the whole way. It was hard to watch as it crashed into the side of the castle and he fell off and hit the ground with a 'thud'. Hooch rushed over and helped Neville to the hospital wing.

As she was leaving, she said that they were all to stay on the ground or they'd be expelled. Well, she actually said something about being out faster than anyone could say 'Quidditch', but Harry got the idea.

Harry saw Malfoy walk over and pick up a ball that had fallen out of Neville's pocket and say,"Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, he would have remembered to fall on his fat arse." Harry pushed his way to the front. He never liked Malfoy, but he felt anger suddenly rip through him when he heard Malfoy bad mouthing on of his friends.

He faced Malfoy and held out his hand.

"Give." Harry ground out, he could already taste blood.

"No, I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find." Then Malfoy got on his broom and went into the air. Harry had never flown before, but he went with his gut instinct and got on it and followed. Flying didn't seem to be that hard at all, but it was a little scary being that high up.

"How about on the roof?" Malfoy asked and threw the ball, then Harry was speeding after it as fast as the broom could go. He caught it and pulled away, inches from flattening himself into the castle.

When Harry saw McGonagall walking towards him, he felt his stomach drop. He done it, he had gotten himself expelled and now he would have to go back to the Dursley's. He told him to come with her but Harry soon found out that he wasn't getting expelled.

Harry ended up getting a detention for that night with Snape, and he got a place as Seeker on the Quidditch team. Harry was so excited he didn't even care about the detention.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Professor Snape had a frustrating day. Five melted cauldrons, three explosions, and many ruined potions that day, and Potter was really getting on his nerves. How dare the brat think he can walk around, thinking he to good to even talk to everyone else?

Snape entered the Great Hall sneering and took his place for supper. His spot was by Madam Pomfrey and Quirrell. He didn't like Quirrell at all, the stuttering idiot. Poppy on the other hand, he had a deep respect for. She saved his life many times after death eater meetings, and never judged him at all. He was brought out of his thoughts by Poppy.

"Severus, I never noticed it before but..." She trailed off, staring at somebody at the Gryffindor table.

"What is it?" He asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"It's Harry Potter, I hadn't really looked at him, but there's something not right." She mumbled, still looking at him with a puzzled expression.

"He's just trying to get attention, just like his father." Snape grumbled.

"No." She said suddenly, "I think he's wearing a glamour." Snape's head snapped up to look at Potter, he indeed looked like he was wearing a glamour. How did he not notice it before? Was he really that blind with hatred?

"I would have noticed it before." Snape said, doubting himself deep down. "Why would he wear a glamour anyway?"

"Can you think of no reason?" Poppy asked. "I remember a certain shy Slytherin that used to use glamour every summer." Snape's heart thudded in his chest. Surely Potter hadn't been treated as he had as a child, Potter was most likely spoiled worse than Draco Malfoy.

"Surely Potter isn't abused." Snape said. "He's probably spoiled rotten."

"Find out please, Severus." Poppy said, "I don't want to see another death resulting from abuse and neglect."

"He has detention after supper, I'll talk to him then." Severus said.

"Is...Is he using sign language?" Poppy asked a minute later. Snape looked up. He used to know sign language, he had a friend that was deaf so he had learned, he was a bit rusty on it now though. That had been years ago.

"It looks like it." Snape said confused.

"Is he deaf?" Poppy asked. "I've only known one deaf person in Hogwarts."

"He isn't deaf, he pretends that he cannot talk." Snape said.

"Pretends?" Poppy asked, "Are you sure that he really can't talk?"

"Positive." Snape said. "He only wants attention."

"Have you heard him ever speak?" Snape thought for a minute.

"No..."

"Talk to him tonight." She said, then left the Great Hall.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When Harry finished his supper that night he said good bye to his friends and left for detention. He always hated detention with Snape, he always made Harry remember how stupid he actually was and made him feel horrible inside.

When he got there he knocked lightly on the door, hoping that Snape wasn't there and he could do the detention at a later time.

"Enter." A deep voice said from inside. Harry took a deep breath and entered.

"Shut the door." Snape growled from his desk. Harry shut the door and walked slowly up to Snape's desk.

"Start scrubbing those cauldrons." Snape said. Harry walked over and started scrubbing, he could feels Snape's eyes on him the whole time.

Snape never noticed it before, but Potter had a small limp. It was so small that it was almost not there, but it was none the less. And the way Potter held things, it was like he couldn't bend his fingers correctly.

The more Snape watched Potter, the more guilt he felt. He also felt like something was very wrong, very wrong indeed. Something inside of him kept saying that Potter was just looking for attention, and there was nothing wrong with him. But another part of him knew, another part of him recognized the signs from his own experiences and from treated his abused Slytherin's.

"Potter." Snape said. "Come here." Potter stood immediately and went over to Snape.

"Sit." Snape said pointing to the chair. "Can you talk?" Potter bit his lip and shook his head, tears already forming.

"How do you communicate?" Snape asked, he already guessed the answer of course, but he wanted to know what Potter would do. Potter looked uncertain and held up his hands.

"Sign language?" Snape asked. Potter nodded. "Alright then, sign your answers. I know a bit of sign language." Potter nodded again.

"Why can't you talk?" Snape asked.

"I don't know." Potter signed. "If I try, it only comes out in croaks." Snape accepted that answer.

"Why are you wearing a glamour?" Snape questioned. Potter looked confused.

"I'm not." he signed.

"I think you are." Snape growled. "Don't lie to me." Potter shrunk back.

"Sorry." he signed. "I don't know what that is." Snape narrowed his eyes.

Harry looked confused so Snape raised his wand and took down the glamour. He gasped in horror at what he saw.

"What happened?" Snape demanded.

"What do you mean?" Harry signed, looking very confused again.

"Your face, what happened to it." Snape asked, then looked at the rest of Harry. "And your neck and hands."

"I don't know, what's it look like?" Harry signed. Snape pulled open and drawer and pulled out a mirror, then handed it to Harry. Harry looked at Snape then glanced into the mirror, then gasped himself.

His face was full of scars, and not just the lighting bolt on. He had a huge, red, angry looking scar by his mouth. The corners of his mouth look like it had been melted, and then it ran down his cheeks and all over his chin. The scar didn't stop there though, it continued to run down his neck and stopped a little passed his collar bone.

Then he looked at his fingers, it was no wonder he had trouble signing sometimes, half of them were crooked and his palms had the same angry red scars. Harry carefully put the mirror down and looked back up to Snape.

"I don't know what happened." He signed.

"Those look like burn marks, Mr. Potter." Snape said, "You don't remember being burned?" Harry shook his head.

"What is your life like at home?" Snape asked. Harry looked startled.

"It's fine." he signed.

"Does your family ever hit you? Do they starve you, you are rather small." Harry shook his head. As far as he knew he didn't get hit, and he wasn't starved. Sure, he never got enough to eat, but he wasn't starved.

Snape sighed and stood up. "Come with me, Mr. Potter, we have to go see Madam Pomfrey."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"We have to get you a check up. Now come."

They silently made it to the Hospital wing. When the went through the door, Snape told him to sit on a bed while he got Madam Pomfrey. They both entered a few minutes later.

"Mr. Potter!" Poppy gasped, "What happened to your face?" Harry shrugged and looked away.

"Alright, lay back please so I can scan your body." Harry layed back and waited. After a few minutes she had him sit up again.

"When did you stop talking?" She asked gently. Harry thought about it. He never really talked much.

Harry shrugged.

"Do you know where you got these burns?" She questioned. Harry shook his head.

"These burns are from grease." She said carefully, "It looks like somebody tried to force you to drink it." Harry's eyes widened.

"Are you sure, Poppy?" Severus asked, Poppy nodded.

"It looks like you pushed most of it out and down your face, but some of it you swallowed."

"I'm sorry." Harry signed.

"Don't apologize." She said softly, "Have you tried to talk?"

"Yes." Harry signed, "But when I do, I sometimes cough up blood. Just a little."

"Alright, try not to talk then." She said then pulled out her wand and mumbled "Lumos".

"Can you open your mouth?" Harry opened it as wide as he could and Poppy and Snape both peered inside.

"Alright, you can close your mouth now." She said after a moment. "Is your taste ok?"

"I think so." Harry signed. "Maybe not. I don't know, things kind of taste...dull."

"Most of your taste buds were completely destroyed." She said, "Your mouth is scared terribly, I'm surprised it never got infected. Now, about these other injuries. How did you get them?"

"I don't know. I don't remember ever getting them." Harry signed.

"I'm going to have to keep you for at least a week." She said. "You've had five broken ribs, a broken leg, and a broken collar bone. You've also shattered all the fingers in your left hand along with nerve damage from the burns on your hands. All the broken bones have healed, but they didn't heal correctly and I need to reset them."

Harry looked upset, but he just nodded his head.

"Mr. Potter, you really cannot remember?" Snape asked.

"I don't remember." Harry signed a bit forcefully.

"I wonder...Would it be ok if I went into your mind?" Snape questioned.

"Why?"

"If I could, I could go in and look through your memories and find out how you got these." Snape said. "But I wont without your permission." Harry thought about it for a minute.

"Alright." He signed. Snape raised his wand.

"Ligilimens."


	8. Harry's Mind

****Shattered Illusions Chapter Eight: Harry's mind****

Severus knew what to expect when he dived into Harry's mind, or he thought he did anyway. You cannot predict exactly what to expect when looking into a mind, but you generally have an idea. Not two minds are alike, but they can be similar and whatever Severus was expecting, this was far from it.

Severus was shocked to say the least. Out of the hundreds of minds that he invaded, none were like this. The mind of Harry's was so different that he didn't actually know what to do.

He was expecting memories to come forward so he could easily go through them, but that's not what happened. When Severus entered Harry's mind, there were no memories. There were no memories, thoughts, or dreams. Harry's mind was, to Severus' shock, seemingly completely empty.

It was dark and he seemed to be in a room. There were walls that Severus first thought were Occlumency walls, but they weren't, they seemed to be regular walls. He was puzzled and confused, and he had never felt like that while going through somebody's mind. It was a talent that came almost as easy as breathing, but this was different, something wasn't right.

Severus shook his head and started moving down the wall and stopped abruptly when he came to a door. He could feel shields up on it and he leaned forward to get a better look at it.

The door was made of wood and it had, "Harry" carved on it. By the name and along the sides of the door there were little lions. He reached forward to try to open the door, but it was locked tightly, so he pulled out his wand and tried to use magic. No matter what he did, the door didn't budge. He decided that he would continue exploring and come back to the door.

As he continued down, he came to another door. On closer inspection he noticed that it was the door to a closet, and on it "Freak" was carved. Severus swore he could hear whimpering and crying coming from inside and sadness and fear hung heavily in the air.

Continuing he came to another door that he didn't even attempt to open. The door was different, it wasn't made of wood but steal and it was bolted shut with many locks and chains. But that wasn't why, the reason that the door frightened him was because it was covered in very dark magic and he could hear vicious growling coming from inside.

Severus told himself that he would come back to that door later and try to figure it out and he continued. He kept going along the walls until he realized that there were no more doors. He went back to the first two doors and tried to open them but they were covered in shields stronger than he had ever seen.

After a long time he decided that it was enough for that day and it was time to report to Poppy. With that thought in mind, he carefully extracted himself from Harry's mind. Harry was laying on his bed and had fallen asleep while waiting.

"Well?" Poppy asked. "What did you find?"

"Absolutely nothing." Severus said, Poppy looked confused. "There were no memories."

"None?" She asked shocked.

"His mind was almost completely empty from what I could see." Severus informed. "It was very dark but there were three doors. All of them had shields like you wouldn't believe. The first one had, "Harry" carved on it, the second had "Freak" and the last one didn't have anything carved on it. The last one was made of steal and was bolted shut with more locks than I had ever seen on a door."

"Strange...I've never heard of such a thing." Poppy said thoughtfully. "Maybe he's been abused to the point that it traumatized him, so his mind locked all those memories up."

"I could believe that, but if that's the case then why were there no other memories?" Severus wondered.

"That's a good question." Poppy said. "I do know though, that I do not want him going back to his home."

"No." Severus agreed. "I'll talk to Albus." Poppy nodded and Severus took his leave. It was getting kind of late so he decided that he would talk to the Headmaster tomorrow after he finished teaching.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Chocolate Frogs." Severus muttered and the gargoyle sprang aside so he could go up.

"Ah Severus, come in." Dumbledore said before Severus could even knock. He shook his head and entered.

"Sit." Dumbledore suggested, "Lemon drop?" Severus sat and politely declined the lemon drop. Of all his years of being at Hogwarts, he had never accepted one of Albus' lemon drops so he decided that one day, he would accept one just to see what Dumbledore's face looked like.

"I need to talk to you about Potter." Severus said.

"What's the boy done now?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Nothing this time." Severus said. "But I cannot allow him to go back to his relatives."

"Why ever not?" Dumbledore asked so Severus went through all the injuries that Harry had come with and told him what he found in Harry's mind.

"Severus, there are blood wards at his house that are protecting him from death eaters, he has to stay." Dumbledore said.

"They protect him from death eaters, but do they protect him from his relatives?" Severus asked.

"You said yourself that you did not find evidence of abuse except for his injuries." Dumbledore said, "And with those, he probably just has run ins with the town bully. You know how children are."

"Yes. I do know." Severus said darkly. "But this is not a run in with a bully. Those injuries have been there since he was very young, Poppy thinks at least two years old."

"Severus, if you can come up with proof, memories or something else, then I will find a replacement for him, but until then he will remain with his relatives." Dumbledore said firmly. "That is my final word."

"Very well, Headmaster." Severus said, getting up to leave.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

__"Get out here, Freak!" Uncle Vernon yelled and yanked the cupboard door open. Freak flinched back but then came forward. It was Freak's fifth birthday, but he knew nothing special would happen.__

__Dudley always had a birthday party and loads of presents and friends, but Freak never got any of that. If anything, he would get an extra beating to put him in his place.__

__"You will start your chores, and you will start with the dishes." Uncle Vernon growled. Freak nodded and made his way to the kitchen. He went to the cupboard and pulled out the phone books, then set them in front of the sink, he had to stand on them to reach.__

__Even with the phone books he wasn't quite tall enough and had to stretch, at five years old he was only the size of a small three year old. Freak reached up and turned on the hot water and some cold, making it hot but bearable.__

__After it was full of water and soap he started loading the dishes in and started cleaning them. Half way through he had to load the sink back up, but the plates were a bit out of reach. Freak started inching closer and stretching until he had his hands on the plate. To his horror, as he was straightening himself, the pages of the phone book slipped and he toppled over, the plate crashing to the ground and breaking.__

__"WHAT'S GOING ON?" Uncle Vernon bellowed from the living room. Freak could hear and feel his uncle's heavy feet booming as he stomped towards the kitchen. He was still dazed from hitting his head on the counter and then the floor, and he noticed the blood starting to trickle down his face.__

__"Freak! How dare you break my plate and bleed on the floor? You will pay!" Freak flinched back, curling up on the floor. He knew he shouldn't. He knew that the more he tried to curl up, the more the punishment would hurt, but he couldn't help it.__

__Uncle Vernon stomped forward, grabbed a piece of the plate, yanked Freak off the floor and turning him, slashed the glass across his back. Freak gasped in pain and his uncle did it over and over, then dropped it and dragged him over to the sink.__

__Uncle Vernon grabbed Freak's hand, turned on the hot water as hot as it would go, and thrust his hand under it. Freak screamed and tried to pull it back but Uncle Vernon was too strong. Freak had tears in his eyes and he screamed and screamed until Vernon let go.__

__Freak fell to the floor and Vernon kicked him in the side. "Get up!"__

__Freak shuddered.__

__"Get up!"__

__Freak sobbed as the kicks got harder and harder. Suddenly there were hands on him, holding him to the floor as his uncle went to town kicking him.__

__"Wake up, Harry!" A voice said and Freak shot up.__

Freak had no idea where he was. The room was white and he was on a bed. A woman had her hand on his arm and Professor Snape stood at the end of the bed watching him. Freak's face went blank for a moment.

"What happened?" Harry signed.

"You had a nightmare it seems." Snape said.

"Oh."

"Do you remember what it was about?" Pomfrey asked.

"No. Not at all." Harry signed. "Sorry."

"It's alright dear." She said patting his shoulder. "Are you hungry?" Harry's stomach growled and he looked embarrassed.

"I'll go order some food from the kitchen then." She smiled. Severus and Harry were left there in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes until Harry started coughing. Blood started to come from his mouth and Harry wiped it away and looked at it.

"Here." Snape said handing him a potion. "You must have hurt your vocal cords when you were screaming. This should sooth it."

"Thank you." Harry signed and took it.

"Here we are." Poppy said happily, carrying a tray of food. She set it down on Harry's lap and told him to eat up. The tray had a plate of eggs, bacon, toast and had a bowl of fruit, and some pumpkin juice. Harry's eyes widened at all of the food.

"You don't have to eat it all, Harry." Poppy said smiling. "Just eat what you can." Harry nodded and picked up his fork. Poppy smiled and left, and Severus pulled a chair up and took a seat. Harry was curious, but didn't say anything.

Harry was only able to eat about half of his food but tried to make himself eat all of it, he didn't want it to go to waste.

"You don't have to eat it all, Mr. Potter." Snape said. Harry nodded so Snape banished the rest of the food with his wand.

"Mr. Potter, is it ok if I ask you some questions?" Snape asked.

"Yes." Harry signed unsurely.

"What is your home life like?" Snape questioned.

"I don't really know." Harry signed.

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I don't really remember them very much." Harry responded slowly. "It's fuzzy." Snape frowned.

"What do you remember?"

"I remember a cupboard. And some yelling." Harry said.

"A cupboard? What about a cupboard." Snape wondered.

"I was in it, and it was really dark." Harry replied.

"What of the yelling? What was being said?"

"I think I broke a plate or something. Uncle Vernon said something like, 'How dare you break the plate?' but I can't remember what else he said." Harry said.

"Hm...That doesn't leave me much to go off of." Severus said to himself.

"Go off of for what?"

"Oh, nothing, don't worry about it." Snape said just as Poppy came in.

"Oh good, you're finished." She said. "We have to discuss something."

"What is it?"

"I would like to do surgery on your throat so I can try to fix the damage." She stated.

"Cut me open?" Harry asked worried.

"Yes, you would be asleep through the whole thing." She said.

"I don't want you to cut me open." Harry signed with tears in his eyes.

"Would you feel better if you had somebody with you?" Poppy questioned. Harry nodded reluctantly and Poppy shot Severus a look, who huffed.

"I can stay with you if you like, Mr. Potter." He grumbled.

"Really? I don't want to be a bother." Harry signed.

"You're not a bother." Snape grumped.

"If it's alright with you, I'd like to do this right away." Poppy said softly, Harry swallowed and nodded. Poppy left to go get some potions and Harry was starting to get really nervous.

"Calm down, Potter." Snape said. "It will be alright, it's only a minor surgery." Harry nodded but didn't look convinced. Severus sighed and took Harry's hand and gave it a little squeeze. Startled, Harry looked over at Snape.

"Scared." Harry signed.

"I know, but wont it be nice to be able to talk again?" Harry shrugged, then let go of Snape's hand for a minute.

"I don't think I ever talked much. When I've tried to talk while being here, nothing came out right. I can't pronounce things and the words get all mixed up." He signed, then took Snape's hand again. It was weird, It was such a small gesture, but it gave Harry a lot of comfort. Nobody had ever willingly held his hand.

"We will have to work on that then." Snape said.

"Alright then, Mr. Potter." Poppy said coming into the room holding potions in both hands. She handed one of them to Harry and put the rest on the table by his bed.

"Drink that and you will be out. It'll be over before you know it." She said. Harry looked at Snape.

"Go ahead, Mr. Potter." Snape said. "I'll be right here the whole time." Harry nodded and swallowed the potion, then layed down and waited for it to take effect. Harry tried to fight it, but within seconds he was slipping away into darkness.


	9. The Morning After

****Shattered Illusions Chapter Nine: The Morning After****

When Harry woke up his throat was even scratchier than it had ever been and it was very hard not to start hacking up his lung. He was so tired; he tried to remember what had happened. Harry was about to rub his face when he noticed a weight on his hand.

He cracked open an eye and saw Professor Snape sitting by his bed reading the paper and holding his hand. Harry was confused at first but then remembered the surgery. Startled, he ripped his hand out of Snape's and started to feel his neck. There was a thick bandage around his throat and it throbbed in pain.

"Welcome back, Potter." Snape said, putting his paper down. Harry looked at him frightened.

"We believe the surgery was successful, but we won't really know until it heals." Snape said, "Are you hungry?" Harry nodded carefully. He wasn't really, but he knew they'd make him eat something. Even if it was just a little bit.

Snape nodded and got up and walked out of the room. He came back a few minutes later carrying a tray of food. Severus set the tray of food on Harry's lap and told him to eat, then sat back down. Harry looked at the tray with wide eyes. No matter how often he saw the amount of food they surved at Hogwarts, it still took him by surprise.

The tray had grapes, strawberries, banana's, other various fruits, eggs, sausage, toast and rolls along with pumpkin juice.

"Go ahead Mr. Potter." Snape urged. Harry picked up his fork and started eating his eggs. They were delicious as usual, but he had his eyes on the fruit. He set his fork down and picked up a strawberry, popping it in his mouth he gasped.

"What is it?" Snape asked.

"I don't think I've ever tasted anything so delicious." Harry signed.

"You've never had a strawberry?" Snape asked in wonder.

"I don't know. I don't remember ever having one." Harry signed, and then popped in another one. Soon he had eaten all of his fruit and he felt really stuffed. He knew he should have stopped long ago, but the fruit was just so good that he just couldn't.

Harry frowned and rubbed his stomach as it made a weird noise. It suddenly started hurting and he was feeling sick. Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath and tried to control his breathing, that usually helped when he was about to be sick.

"What's wrong, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked. Harry ignored him, he knew he could make his body do anything, but he had to keep his concentration, or he knew he would throw up all over the bed.

"Harry?" Snape asked. Harry pulled his knees up to his chest and put his face in between them, and continued to breath. It was getting harder and harder to ignore Snape.

"Are you ok, Harry?" Snape questioned. That destroyed the last bit of concentration he had and he leaned over and threw up all over the floor. Harry's face went blank for a moment and Freak looked down and saw what he'd done. Panic flooded his face and he scrambled up to the headboard, pulled his knees to his chest, and started whimpering, with tears spilling from his eyes.

"Harry, it's ok." Snape said banishing the mess. "Everyone has accidents." Snape leaned over and went to place his hand on Freak's shoulder, but Freak flinched away and started whimpering more desperately.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Snape asked, worry lacing his voice. "It was only a bit of vomit, and it's gone now." Just then Madame Pomfrey walked into the room.

"Mr. Potter, what's wrong?" She asked with a frown.

"No!" Freak choked out, and then whimpered at the pain.

"Mr. Potter, you shouldn't be talking!" Poppy said, reaching out her hand to touch him. Freak flinched again.

"No! 'm sowwy!" Freak cried. "Won't do it 'gain!" Freak started sobbing again and started rocking back and forth.

"Severus, what on Earth is going on?" Poppy asked.

"He threw up and then started crying." Severus said taking Freak's hand. Freak seemed to be crying too hard to even notice. "I cleaned it up and told him it was ok, but it seemed to make it worse."

"He's going to hurt his throat again if he keeps up." Poppy said, already walking towards the storage cupboard. "Try to calm him down while I get some dreamless sleep."

"Harry." Severus said softly, rubbing circles on the back of Freak's hand.

"No!" Freak choked out, trying to pull his hand out of Severus'.

"No? No what, Harry?" He questioned. "Use your signs to tell me, we don't want you to hurt your throat again." Freak shook his head, and Snape tugged on his hand, pulling him closer.

"Fweak!" Freak sobbed as Snape wrapped his arms around him.

"Freak? What do you mean? I'm afraid that I don't understand." Snape said as he rubbed calming circles on Freak's back. Freak was shaking but he started to calm down and his sobs turned into small hiccoughs.

"Fweak." He stated softer, his eye lids dropping.

"You have to explain Harry, who are you calling a freak?" Severus said, but it was no use, Freak had already fallen asleep. Poppy walked briskly into the room and stopped abruptly.

Severus had his arms around a sleeping, but still hiccoughing, Harry Potter and it had to have been one of the oddest sights that she had ever laid her eyes upon. Severus awkwardly and carefully laid Harry back down and pulled the blankets up. Then he sat back with a confused expression on his face.

"What happened, Severus?" Poppy asked.

"He cried and then fell asleep in my arms." Severus stated, still looking confused.

"You look puzzled, why?" Poppy questioned.

"He fell asleep in my arms." Severus stated like it was obvious.

"What's there to be confused about that?" Poppy asked, "He obviously trusts you to some extent."

"Exactly." Severus said simply, now it was Poppy's turn to be confused.

"What's wrong with that?" She wondered.

"When have you known anyone to trust me?" Severus countered.

"I trust you." Poppy shrugged. "Besides, you were the one who caught Harry's injuries and brought him to get help. Of course he's going to trust you. Don't you do anything to change that. I have a feeling that boy needs anyone he can get." Severus nodded dumbly and looked back down at the sleeping boy and had the oddest urge to stroke Harry's hair out of his face, he squashed it down right away though. Couldn't have any of that, Severus decided.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Hermione was running down the corridors on her way to the Gryffindor common room, she had just come from Dumbledore's office. She had been worried when Harry had never showed up and went to see where he was, but the news was certainly concerning.

Hermione stated the password and entered the common room. Spotting Ron, who was playing chess with Neville, she jogged across the room.

"Ron, we've got to go." She said.

"Later, I'm busy." He replied as he took Neville's queen with his own rook.

"Now, it's about Harry." She stated impatiently. It got both Neville and Ron's attention and the game was quickly forgotten.

"Where is he?" Ron asked quickly.

"He's in the hospital; we've got to go see him." Hermione explained. "I went and asked Dumbledore, and he said that Harry was at the hospital, but he wouldn't say what happened."

"Come on, Neville." Ron said standing up and already making his way towards the door.

"Oh I don't know…" Neville said shyly. " I don't think he'd want me there…"

"Neville," Hermione stated, "Harry adores you, haven't you noticed? Why do you think he went through so much trouble getting your ball from Malfoy?"

"Yeah," Agreed Ron. "He seems to cherish everyone's friendship and you're his friend. So let's go!"

It didn't take long for them to run all the way there, but they were stopped at the door from barging in.

"What are you three doing here?" Pomfrey asked.

"Where's Harry?" Ron asked. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I asked Dumbledore where Harry was, and he said he was here." She explained. "We came by to see if he was ok, we don't know what happened to him."

"He's fine." Poppy said, her face softening. "He's sleeping right now though, come back tomorrow and you can see him." Ron looked troubled, Neville looked nervous, but Hermione nodded.

"Alright, thank you Madam Pomfrey." Hermione said politely, then started pulling Ron and Neville away by the arms. Poppy smiled and turned around and walked back to where Harry was.

She stopped in shock when she saw that Severus had fallen sleep. He was leaning forward, one hand under his head, the other holding onto Harry's. Harry had pulled the hand to his chest and seemed to be hugging it.

Poppy was glad that Severus was getting some sleep, he hadn't gotten any the whole time during the surgery or after, but it was still strange to see him sleeping like that. She wondered suddenly if she should wake him up and force him to go to bed, but she decided against it when she saw how peaceful his face looked. She shook her head, smiling, and went back to her office; it had been a really long day.


	10. Break Downs and a Talk with Minerva

****Shattered Illusions Chapter Ten****

When Harry woke up next he realized that he was holding something to his chest. He opened his eyes and looked down; it was Professor Snape's hand. His eye's widened and he carefully sat it down on the bed.

Snape was sleeping; his head resting on his other arm, his face was covered with his hair. It was weird to him, he had only ever seen his potions professor with a stern face, or a blank mask, and once or twice with a tiny bit of concern; but right now there wasn't any expression on his face. He looked…peaceful?

Harry noticed that he really had to use the bathroom, but he didn't want to move the bed and disturb Snape, so he sat there and decided to hold it. He was doing fine before it really started hurting and he couldn't hold it anymore. He carefully slipped off the bed and, not looking to see if he woke Snape up, ran as fast as his legs could carry him to the bathroom. He barely made it in time.

When he was finished she washed his hands really good and looked in the mirror. He looked like a freak. The bright angry scars were still there, and he still had the thick white bandage wrapped around his neck. His eyes looked dull; his skin was pale and looked to be clinging to his bones. Harry looked away quickly, he didn't like to see such freakishness, and he wished he could just look normal. Without any scars.

When Harry looked into the mirror again he almost gasped. All his scars were gone! His skin and eyes still looked sickly, but who cared? The scars were gone and it made Harry look less freakish. Shrugging he turned the door knob and went back into the room.

Snape was awake sitting in his chair. Looking at him you wouldn't have been able to tell he had just been sleeping, not a hair on his head was out of place. Harry padded over to his bed and sat down. Snape looked up at him and gasped.

"Harry, where are your scars? Did Poppy do something while I was asleep?" Snape asked. Harry shrugged.

"They're hiding." Harry signed.

"Hiding?" Snape asked, then realized. "Behind a glamour?"

"Oh yeah, that must be it." Harry signed.

"You shouldn't be putting up glamour's, Mr. Potter." Snape said, "It's draining too much of your magic."

"Please don't make me take it off." Harry signed quickly as Snape pulled out his wand. Harry felt tears prickling his eyes, to his horror. Snape waved his wand and the glamour was lifted, and Harry's tears fell.

Harry covered his face, ashamed of himself. He knew it was stupid to cry over something like that, but for some reason he couldn't help it.

"Mr. Potter? What's the matter?" Snape asked, his voice softening. Freak blinked and turned away to hide the tears.

"Child?" Snape asked, standing up and going to the other side of the bed. Snape put a hand on Freak's shoulder, making him flinch.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Snape wondered again. Freak shook his head violently, his lips forming a hard line as the tears continued to fall. "Is it the scars, Harry?" Freak got a dark look on his face and turned away again.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Harry." Snape said, turning Freak's head towards him by the chin. "You hear me? Nothing to be ashamed of at all."

"Fweak!" Freak squeaked out suddenly, his face looked pained. "Am Fweak!"

"Freak?" Snape asked, "You're not a Freak, I don't know where you got that idea. Use your signs if you want to talk, I don't want you to hurt your throat."

"Don't know much." Freak signed tears falling.

"What do you mean? You were just using signs earlier." Snape said carefully, "What's different now, Harry?"

"Am Fweak!" Freak cried frustrated. "Am Fweak! Fweak!"

"That's enough." Snape said, "You are not a freak, get that out of your mind, Harry."

"No Hawwy!" Freak cried harder. It was getting harder to breathe. He didn't know what was getting into him, he knew if the school found out he wasn't Harry, he would get sent back to the Dursley's, and that was unacceptable. But he couldn't pretend anymore, he wasn't Harry. "Am Fweak. No Hawwy." Blood leaked from the corner of his mouth and dripped down his chin.

"Alright, enough talking." Snape said pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping Freak's chin. "Your throat is not healed and you're hurting it."

"Hawwy be mad." Freak said, completely ignoring what Snape had said. "Hawwy mad. Fweak at school." Snape didn't know what to say, he had no idea what was going on, of course this was Harry.

"Lay down, Harry." Snape sighed. "I think you're tired." He reached over and helped lay down and pulled the blankets up to his chin. Freak closed his eyes and mumbled, "Am Fweak. Fweak ugly. Unc'l Vewnon know Fweak." But Snape didn't hear, as he had left to go talk to Poppy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Severus looked down at the child as he closed his eyes, then turned and walked away. He had to talk to Poppy, then he had to have a small chat with Minerva. When he got to Poppy's office he knocked lightly. The door opened and she waved him in.

"Take a seat, Severus." She said kindly. "Tea?"

"Yes please." Severus said, taking a seat from across her. She poured and handed him a cup, he sipped it carefully.

"Mr. Potter has woken up, but he's asleep again." Severus said, setting his cup down.

"Did something happen?" She asked carefully.

"Well, he got up to use the bathroom, when he came back he had a glamor up." Severus said. "He was draining his magic, I could tell, so I took it down." He stopped talking.

"And?" Poppy prompted.

"And he went hysterical." Severus whispered. "He tried talking, it's worse than I though."

"Of course, he hasn't used his voice for a while; it's going to sound scratchy and different." Poppy said casually.

"No." Severus said, shaking his head. "He couldn't form proper sentences. He sounded like a two year old."

"Oh." Poppy said looking surprised.

"He ended up hurting his throat, so I told him to use his signs." Severus continued. "And he signed that he didn't know much. Now, when I talked with him before, he seemed to be pretty fluent with it."

"That's right." Poppy said thoughtfully. "I can't understand it, but he used it quite a bit."

"I asked him what was different and he said 'Am Freak'. He proceeded to call himself Freak over and over again." Severus said. "Then he said 'No Harry'." Poppy looked puzzled.

"I thought maybe he was still tired so I told him to go to sleep." Severus finished. Poppy nodded and stared off into space thoughtfully.

"I guess we'll just have to take it slow." She said finally, Snape nodded.

"Excuse me Poppy," Severus said standing, "May I use your floo? I've got to have a word with Minerva."

"Of course." Poppy said. Severus nodded his thanks and turned to the fireplace , threw the powder in and put his head.

"Minerva!" he called, "May I come through?"

"Of course Severus." She said coming into view.

"Thank you." Severus said stepping through.

"Is something the matter?" She questioned.

"I would like to talk to you about Mr. Potter." Severus said, sitting down in a plush, red arm chair.

"What's he done now?" Minerva sighed.

"What makes you think he's done something wrong?" Severus asked in surprise.

"When isn't he doing wrong? He's worse than his father ever was." Minerva said. Severus was shocked; he expected that reaction from himself, not Potter's own head of house.

"What's he done?" Severus wondered.

"He's always strutting around like he's too good." Minerva said, "He cheats and lies all the time. He should have been put into Slytherin."

"Does he?" Severus asked, he might have to look into that.

"Oh yes. He thinks he's too good to talk even. You know, he had a student transfigure a straw into a needle and told me that he had done it." She almost spat. "The brat had the nerve to lie to me when I know he hadn't uttered a word."

"Are you sure he didn't use silent magic?" Severus asked carefully.

"Impossible Severus." She said. "He's only a first year." Yes it was unlikely, but not impossible, only improbable.

"Anyway, back to topic." Severus said shaking his head. "Mr. Potter is currently in the hospital wing."

"What? Why?" Minerva blinked. Severus smirked, no matter how mad she was at one of her lions; she still cared for them deep down.

"Were you aware that he really couldn't talk?" Severus asked quietly, not smirking anymore.

"What do you mean? Of course he could, he just chose not to." Minerva said, but she didn't sound sure.

"No, he really couldn't." Severus insisted. "Did you know he's been wearing glamous all this time?"

"He has? How haven't I noticed?" She asked, Severus could see the guilt creeping up in her face.

"Nobody had." Severus said. "Poppy noticed once and told me, I looked into it during a detention. I took it off and let's just say, it wasn't pretty."

"Why?" She breathed.

"He has terrible scars on his face and neck, as well as his hands." Severus said. "Poppy thinks someone forced Mr. Potter to swallow burning grease, he only swallowed a little, but it damaged his voice box. When he did talk, it would cause him to cough up blood, so he hasn't really."

"Good gracious!" She exclaimed, panic crossing her face. "I treated him so horribly!"

"You weren't the only one." Severus growled, he too had treated Potter horrible.

"Was it his relatives?" Minerva asked. "I told Albus they weren't right…"

"We don't know, he can't remember." Severus said. "I got permission from him to go into his mind, but he had all his memories locked up so tight I couldn't access them."

"Really?" She gasped.

"Albus wants him to go back" Severus commented. "He said there isn't enough proof that he's been mistreated."

"You can't be serious!" She gasped.

"He can't go back." Minerva growled, "Not if what you say is true."

"Would you like to see for yourself?" Severus asked standing. Minerva nodded and they both floo'd to the hospital wing. Severus stepped up and led the way to Harry's bed.

Minerva's mouth dropped when she saw the boy laying there. He looked so innocent, but so __damaged. __She instantly felt guilty for every mean thing she ever said to him, and vowed she would treat him better in the future.

She reached her hand out to brush a strand of hair from his face, but Freak started whimpering in his sleep. He seemed to curl in on himself and the whimpering turned into crying, then full out sobbing.

Both teachers looked taken a back and they both reached out to wake him. When Freak opened his eyes, both professors knew he wasn't actually awake.

Freak backed up against the headboard and whimpered, his frail body shivering.

"Harry?" Minerva asked carefully. Freak shook his head.

"It's only a nightmare, Harry." Severus said softly, not caring if Minerva was right there. Freak didn't snap out of it, just kept crying, so Minerva reached out and hand and put it on his shoulder. Freak started screaming.

"No!" he choked, blood already dripping from his mouth. "No Unc'l Vewnon! Fweak sowwy! Fweak no do it 'gain!" Both teachers looked surprised as they shared a look, then looked at the tear and snot soaked boy on the bed.


	11. A Visit from Friends and the Headmaster

Shattered Illusions Chapter Eleven: A Visit from Friends and the Headmaster.

Severus quickly sat down on the side of the bed and put his hand on Freak's shoulder and lightly nudged it. He saw Minerva out of the corner of his eye. She looked like she didn't know what to do, a deep worry was etched on her face.

"Come on Harry, wake up." Severus said calmly, "It's only a nightmare." Freak's screaming started to stop, and slow down to small whimpers. Blood mixed with spit started to drip down his chin, so Severus pulled out his handkerchief again and wiped it away.

"It's alright Harry." Severus said, pulling Freak against his chest. It took a while, but soon Harry opened his eyes and whimpered. "Alright now, Harry?" Harry blinked again and looked up.

"Sorry!" Harry signed quickly, looking panicked.

"Don't be sorry for having a nightmare." Severus said. "Can you tell me what it was about?"

"Don't remember." Harry signed, when wiped his tears away. Severus pulled away a bit and looked into Harry's face. "I never remember them."

"You have them often?" Severus asked.

"Almost every night." Harry signed.

"Why didn't you tell anybody?" McGonagall suddenly asked, getting both their attentions. Harry's eyes widened and he pressed himself into Severus' side. Both teachers noticed.

"Harry?" Minerva asked.

"Yes, Professor?" Harry signed.

"Severus, I cannot understand sign language, you'll have to translate." Minerva said.

"Oh, he said, 'Yes, Professor?'" Severus replied.

"Are you afraid of me?" Minerva asked. Harry shook his head.

"What's wrong then?" Minerva questioned.

"You don't like me. You get mad at me all the time, even when I don't do anything wrong." Harry signed slowly.

"I know Harry, I am so sorry." Minerva said, "I didn't know that you couldn't really talk, and I just assumed that you just didn't want to." Harry nodded.

"So were you telling the truth when you transfigured that piece of straw?" She asked. Harry nodded again. "Excuse me for a moment." She said and stood up, then walked out of the room. She came back a few minutes later with Harry's wand and a piece of straw.

"If you transfigure this into a needle I will go back and give you a grade for it." McGonagall said. Harry's eyes widened again and he held out his hand, McGonagall placed the items in it. Harry took the wand in his hand and put the needle on the bed.

He pointed his wand and scrunched his face in concentration. After what seemed like ages, the needle changed.

"You did that silently." Minerva said quietly. "I was absolutely horrible to you for nothing."

"It's ok." Harry signed. "I understand." McGonagall looked like she was going to cry, but luckily she held it in.

"You're such a forgiving boy." She said smiling. "I will go change your grade now, get better soon." Then she turned and left.

"Have you any idea how hard it should be for you to do wordless magic?" Severus asked after a minute of silence. Harry shook his head and looked into Severus' eyes.

"Full grown adults have trouble with wordless magic." Severus said. "First years shouldn't be able to do it so easily." Harry shrugged and looked away. He didn't think it so special, how else was he to do magic if he couldn't talk?

Harry was about to crawl under his blankets again, but his bladder decided to make itself known. Harry frowned and jumped off the bed, but decided that it was best to go now, instead of after he had gotten comfortable and didn't want to move.

The floor was cold on his feet, but he didn't have any socks or slippers to put on, so he ignored it. Quickly he padded off to the bathroom to do his business. When the door was shut and locked, he turned to look into the mirror, frowning again.

He could have sworn he put up a glamour last time he was in the bathroom, but now all his scars were showing. He shrugged and put it up again, then turned and did his business. After washing his hands he left the bathroom and started walking back to his bed. He didn't make it very far before Severus let up a frustrated sigh. Harry stopped mid step and looked at him worried.

"Harry, you need to take off the glamour, I thought we already went over this." Severus said.

"We did?" Harry signed, not remembering ever going over it.

"Yes, don't you remember?" Severus frowned. Harry shook his head.

"Well, doesn't matter, it has to come off. You're draining your magic." Severus said, already picking up his wand.

"No, please leave it." Harry pleaded. Severus looked at Harry, trying to decide what to do. After a couple of minutes he said, "Why don't I take it off, and I put one up?" Harry nodded enthusiastically. As long as he didn't look so gross, he didn't care who put the glamour up.

"Very well." Severus sighed, "You should not hide behind them though. The way you look is nothing to be ashamed of." Harry looked away, ashamed anyway, as Severus took his glamour down, and put one up of his own.

"Oh good, you're up." Poppy said walking in. "Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley are here, would you like me to send them in?" Harry nodded so Poppy left.

"I will take my leave as well." Severus said standing. Harry stuck his hand out and stopped him. "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"Will you come back?" Harry asked carefully.

"Would you like me to?" Severus asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Very much so." Harry said. Severus tipped his head and left, almost walking into Ron and Hermione as they came rushing in; more so Ron though, than Hermione.

"Sorry sir." Hermione said politely. Severus grunted and kept walking.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Severus stood out in the hall for a moment, listening to the three friends talking. He didn't know what he was feeling. Something was very wrong with Harry, but he didn't know what it was. Surely he shouldn't be forgetting things so easily? He thought back to when Harry came out with his glamour on the second time. Harry had said he didn't remember their conversation about it before, even though it had only been a couple of hours.

Severus wondered if Poppy really scanned his head very well, if she had, she would have seen something wrong, wouldn't she? Severus shook his head and turned to go to Poppy's office, he would just have to talk to her.

Once outside of her office door he knocked, and then entered when he heard her call out. He waited to be invited to sit, then took the plush looking chair on the other side of her desk. They sat in silence for a few moments, staring at each other.

"Would you like some tea, Severus?" She asked, breaking the silence.

"No thank you, Poppy. I won't be staying long." Severus replied. "I only wondered if you scanned Mr. Potter's head."

"Of course I have." Poppy huffed. "What do you take me for?"

"Well I was just wondering because he's been forgetting things a lot." Severus replied. "He came out of the bathroom with a glamour on again. When I brought it up, he didn't remember our previous talk about it at all."

"I will have to do another scan after his friends leave." She said, "Obviously I didn't do a thorough enough job." Severus nodded but even he knew it wasn't like Poppy to not do a thoughough job.

"Well I best be off, I've got potions to brew." He said standing, "Are any of your stocks running low?"

"Yes, in fact I'm just about all out of dreamless sleep." Poppy replied. Snape nodded and disappeared through the floo.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Harry, mate, what's going on?" Ron asked as soon as Severus was out the door.

"Yeah Harry, are you ok?" Hermione questioned. Harry nodded quickly.

"I might talk again." He signed excitedly.

"That's good, Harry!" Hermione exclaimed and sat down on the bed.

"Is that what that is?" Ron asked, pointing at the bandage around Harry's neck. Harry nodded again.

"Pomfrey cut me open and I'm not supposed to talk until it heals." Harry signed, then got a sad look on his face.

"Harry? What is it?" Hermione wondered. Harry shook his head. He knew that if he was able to talk again, it wouldn't come out right. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to be able to talk again, it was kind of embarrassing. Talking was different than signing. Signing seemed to come more natural to him, and he didn't really have to think about it unless he'd just learned how to sign a new word. When he started talking he'd have to really think before he talked, and try to remember what order the words went into to make sense.

"How are you guys?" Harry signed, wanting to know.

"We're doing great." Hermione said, "But I can barely get Ron to study to save his life."

"Hermione! Harry's in the hospital, how can I study?" Ron asked. Harry grinned as his friends started bickering. He'd kind of missed it, in a weird sort of way.

"It's been kind of quiet without you there." Hermione said, effectively stopping Ron in his rant.

"How can it?" Harry asked. "I don't talk or anything."

"It's well... I guess not really quiet." Ron started. "But it is. It's a different quiet. I think." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"So how did you get here?" Hermione asked. "Did you come yourself?" Harry thought for a moment, should he tell them?

"Remember when I had detention with Snape?" Harry asked.

"Yeah?" Hermione asked.

"Well during it he saw that I was wearing glamours." Harry started, but was stopped.

"You were wearing a glamour?" Hermione asked. "How? Why?"

"I don't know." Harry said. "I have scars…"

"Wait, are you still wearing it?" Ron asked. Harry nodded.

"I put it up somehow, but Snape took it down because he said it was draining my magic." Harry replied. "But he put some up for himself."

"Can we see?" Ron asked, Hermione elbowed him in the side.

"It's ok. I would, but I can't take them down." Harry said. "Do you know how, Hermione?"

"Yeah, are you sure?" She questioned.

"As long as you don't tell anyone." She took out her wand and they both gasped as they came down.

"Harry mate, what happened?" Ron exclaimed standing to get a better look.

"Pomfrey said that somebody tried to make me swallow hot grease." Harry said, "But I don't remember any of it. They're on my hands too." He held up his hands. "But I don't know where any of my scars came from. I can't remember getting them."

"Strange…" Hermione murmured, taking Harry's hand and looking at it palm up.

"It was worse before." Harry signed, taking his hand back. "My fingers were all weird looking. She said they had been broken and healed wrong, so she broke them and set them right."

"And you don't remember any of it?" Hermione asked, her eyes narrowing. Harry shook his head. Hermione was going to say something else but Pomfrey came in.

"It's time for you to go dears, you'll be late for supper." She said kindly. Suddenly Harry's stomach growled, he hadn't realized it was getting so late.

"Ok, we'll be back tomorrow after classes, Harry." Ron said and they both left.

"Alright Mr. Potter." Poppy said pulling out her wand. "I would like you to lie down while I scan your body." She saw the look of worry that Harry was giving her and said, "Don't worry, I just want to see if you're healing properly."

Harry nodded his head and laid down on his back and waited. Pomfrey mumbled some words of Latin and a blue light glowed at the end of her wand. She started at his toes and slowly made her way up his legs, over his stomach and chest, and she paused at his head. After a couple of seconds her face got a look of surprise, confusion, and her mouth went into a hard line.

Harry knew that look, there was something wrong, he knew it. He wanted to ask, but Pomfrey didn't know sign language, so he had to wait.

"You're mostly healing just fine." Pomfrey smiled. Harry noticed that she didn't say everything was good, just most of it. There was something wrong and Harry figured it was in his head. That was where she paused the longest.

"Feel up to eating some supper?" Pomfrey asked. Harry was about to nod, but something purple caught his eye, and he turned his head.

"Ah, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore said, coming out of the shadows. "How are you feeling?"

"Good." Harry signed, without even thinking. Dumbledore was looking at him strangely.

"What?" Harry signed.

"What's that you're doing with your hands?" Dumbledore asked, looking confused.

"It's sign language" Pomfrey answered.

"Sign language, why would he need to use that?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes narrowing. Harry got a sick feeling in his stomach whenever Dumbledore was near.

"Well he cannot speak." Poppy huffed.

"Oh really, I thought those were just rumors." He mumbled, not taking his eyes off Harry. It was making Harry rather uncomfortable and he squirmed.

"A word if you will." Dumbledore said and walked to Poppy's office, not even waiting for an answer. She huffed and called for a house elf to get Harry some supper, then went in after Dumbledore. When she entered she closed the door and crossed her arms.

"What's wrong with Harry?" Dumbledore demanded.

"Did you ever check up on him?" Poppy countered, ignoring Dumbledore's question.

"What do you mean?" He asked innocently.

"Harry. Did you check up on him after leaving him with those muggles?" Poppy demanded.

"I had people watching the house." Dumbledore explained. "Why?"

"That child is being abused horribly." Poppy exclaimed.

"Do you have proof?" Dumbledore asked calmly. Poppy looked furious. She went to her desk, opened the drawer and pulled out Harry's chart, then shoved it into the headmaster's hand. He scanned it quickly.

"This doesn't prove abuse." He said, handing the chart back. "Could easily have been a street fight." Poppy felt the fury rise and she glance down at the parchment.

"At the age of four?" She demanded, still looking at the chart. "At four he had a skull fracture. At three all his toes on his in his right foot shattered. You're telling me that a three year old was in a street fight?"

"No, maybe there's an explanation." Dumbledore said, "But until Harry can tell us, then we can't know for sure. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got somewhere I need to be."

Once Dumbledore was gone, Poppy plopped down in her chair and downed a double dose of calming drought.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Severus was leaning over his cauldron waiting for it to change colours so he could add the salamander eye, when his floo went off, signaling someone was there.

"I'm in the lab!" He called, not wanting to ruin his potion. Foot step alerted him that the person arrived. He turned his head. "Headmaster." He acknowledged.

"Severus, I only wondered if you knew how Harry was doing." Dumbledore stated.

"Why don't you go visit him yourself?" Severus asked, putting the eye in and stiring.

"I found out something interesting today." Dumbledore said, "You didn't tell me that Harry couldn't talk, must have slipped your mind?"

"I thought you knew." Severus said calmly. "The whole school knows."

"I thought they were just rumors." Dumbledore replied. "So what else don't I know about Mr. Potter?"

"I don't think that's really any of your business." Severus frowned. "You obviously don't care about him."

"Of course I care, my boy, why would you think otherwise?"

"You left him in a home where he was abused." Severus said through gritted teeth. "And you want him to go back. You know what Headmaster? I won't allow it. He needs a home where he is cared for and loved."

"But the blood wards." Dumbledore replied. "He has to go back because the blood wards will protect him."

"You and I both know that they won't work unless the individual is loved by his family." Severus said, "And judging by his scars, they didn't like him too much."

"You have no proof that he is abused. You come up with some and I will remove him." Dumbledore growled, "Until then I don't want to hear anything more about it."


	12. May and Memories

Shattered Illusions Chapter Twelve: May and Memories

The next day found Harry sitting up in his bed, practicing his writing and spelling. Severus was sitting by the bed pretending to read a potions journal. Snape was deep in thought; he had feelings brewing about inside of him that he didn't really understand. Most of them about one Harry Potter. Severus was supposed to hate Harry. He was Potter's spawn and a symbol of everything that he could have had, had Lily went with him instead of Potter. He wanted to hate Harry, but he didn't. He couldn't, Harry was nothing like his father. That wasn't supposed to be how things went.

Severus lowered the potions journal to get a better look at what Harry doing. Harry had his tongue poking out of his lips and his face was scrunched in concentration, then the tongue went back in and he smiled a bit.

"All finished, sir." Harry signed.

"Hm, let's see it." Snape said holding out his hand. Harry picked up the parchment and quickly handed it over for Severus to look at. Severus took it and scanned it, then smirked.

"Satisfactory." He said. The parchment had, "Harry James Potter" written over and over again in columns all over. Some was sloppy, but some looked pretty good. "I think that should be good for today." Harry nodded and started putting his stuff away. He looked up as he heard footsteps, it was Pomfrey.

"Good morning, Mr. Potter." She said pulling out her wand. "I hope you're well, we have to take the glamour off now." Harry nodded cautiously. He hated when the glamous came off, he felt so Freakish and ugly. Poppy raised her wand and took them down, then she stepped closer.

"I'm only going to take the bandages off your neck so I can get a better look." She told him upon seeing his worried look. She reached forward and gently started to remove the bandages, when they were off she raised her wand and started to scan him from head to toe. When she scanned his whole body she went up back to his head and her lips formed a hard line. Seconds later the hard line left and she smiled.

"Alright Mr. Potter," said Poppy. "I just have to go get a potion for your throat, Severus if you'll come with me please." Snape nodded and stood, and Harry just knew there was something wrong. Why else would she get that look on her face, and then ask to talk to Snape. He shook his head worriedly and tried not to think about it. What if it was something serious?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Severus was a little worried, even if he refused to acknowledge it. He had watched while Poppy scanned the boy, he saw her pull her brows together and her lips form a hard line. That was never a good sign, and he noticed it was only by the boy's head. Was there something wrong with it? Of course there was, it was so strange.

Severus shook his head as he entered Poppy's office. She sighed tiredly and sat down, then she motioned for him to do the same. Severus looked at her wearily as he sat down and waited for her to explain.

"While I was scanning his head, I noticed that he's got a bit of brain damage." She said frowning. "It's hard to tell what caused it, with all his head injuries."

"How bad is it?" Severus asked, feeling dread fill him.

"I think he will overcome most of it," said Poppy, "it has to do with the part of the brain that controls speech, and the part that controls memory."

"Is that why he's been forgetting all those things?" Severus questioned.

"No, and that's the weird thing." Poppy responded, "There is something else there, but I've never seen it before." Poppy looked annoyed at her own lack of information, "I have to research it."

Severus nodded, "So what does this mean?"

"I think he will make a full recovery with his speech with practice and work." Poppy responded, "But he will have trouble learning. It will be hard for him store and remember new information. I suggest tutoring." Severus nodded again.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I suppose I have to," Poppy said, "I just wanted to run it by you first."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Harry was picking at a thread on his blanket when Pomfrey and Snape came back in, Pomfrey was holding a potion and smiling, and Snape…well, he just looked like Snape. Snape always looked the same. He always had the same stern looking face and perfect posture.

"Sorry for the wait, Harry." Poppy said, pulling up a chair. Severus pulled one up on the other side.

"There is something I'd like to talk to you about," said Poppy. "It's about the scans I did."

"What's wrong?" Harry signed, "Am I ok?" He was ready to expect the worst. He was probably ruined forever.

"Yes, you're fine, Harry." She replied, "There was just a small…complication." Snape snorted. Harry looked over but Snape had composed himself by the time his eyes shifted over.

"Well, what is it?" Harry asked.

"It's seems you have a bit of brain damage." Pomfrey said carefully, "But don't worry, you should make a full recovery with some work." Harry nodded. That wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. He'd probably be okay then. He'd just have to work hard.

"It's affecting the parts of your brain for speech and memory." She continued. "Your speech will need to have some work done with, but it can be fixed."

"What about the memory?" Harry asked.

"Well, that you should be able to get better with as well." Poppy said, "It will be a bit difficult at first, but I believe you can overcome it." Harry nodded again.

"Alright now, I would like you take this potion." Poppy said. Harry looked at it skeptically, but took it and swallowed it down.

"Good boy." Poppy said handing him a glass of water, completely oblivious to Harry's reaction. Something happened when Poppy said those words; he got a feeling deep down. Like he'd always wanted to hear those words or something, he felt tears prickle at his eyes as his heart seemed to burst with happiness. He didn't understand what had happened. Harry took the glass and sipped it, trying to push the tears back. Hopefully nobody noticed. He glanced over as he sipped, Snape was giving him a strange look.

"Your throat seems to be healing a lot faster and better than I originally thought." Poppy said taking the glass back. "It's still not as good as it could be, but that potion will sooth your throat enough to let you talk." Harry looked at her sharply. He didn't want to talk; he knew he would sound so stupid.

"Well go on, would you like to try?" Pomfrey prompted. Harry stared at her with wide eyes, what was he supposed to say? He shook his head.

"Why don't you introduce yourself for a start?" Poppy suggested. A few more minutes of staring with wide eyes, Severus rolled his eyes and thrust his hand out.

"Hello, I am Professor Severus Snape." Snape said as Harry took his hand and shook it. Harry bit his lip, he was supposed to return the greeting, it was only polite.

"H-h-hello p-p-pro…p-prof'ser s-sn…s-s-s-snape." Harry stuttered, trying to think of what he was saying. "M-me H-h-ha…H-haw…Hawwy." Harry looked away, that had gone worse than he thought it would. It was so embarrassing; he just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

"Good job, Harry!" Poppy said happily.

"Yes, well done Mr. Potter." Snape said sounding uncomfortable.

"B-ba…bad." Harry stuttered, "s-s-s-sound…s-sound f-fun…funny." He didn't like talking. Harry would rather have just signed everything for the rest of his life. He imagined how everybody would laugh at him when they heard him.

"Don't worry, it will get better." Pomfrey said, "I have to go, keep practicing, but don't overdo it." Harry nodded and Poppy left. For a while neither Snape nor Harry said anything.

"Are your friends coming to visit today?" Severus finally asked. Harry nodded, making Snape raise an eye brow. "A verbal answer, if you will."

"Y-y-ye…yes s-s-s-s-sir!" Harry said. The S's seemed to be getting him, they were hard to say.

"Are you excited?" Severus asked.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, then at Snape's look said, "L-la-laugh at H-haw..Hawwy." Severus frowned.

"If they're your friends, they won't laugh at you." Severus said. "There's nothing to laugh at anyway."

"H-Hawwy n-no t-t-ta…t-talk g-go..g-good." Harry said, tears forming in his eyes. "H-hawwy s-s-s-s-so-sound s-s-stu…s-stupid."

"Stop." Severus said. "You don't sound stupid; quite the opposite actually. I…uh…I am proud of you." Snape sounded uncomfortable at that last part, and a very slight blush appeared on his cheeks. Harry blinked. Proud? It was too much for Harry. He blinked as something happened deep inside of him.

May blinked at her surroundings in confusion, she realized that she didn't know where she was. She turned her head and saw Snape, and then she remembered what had happened, and what Snape had said. Basking in the feel of the praise, she smiled.

"Thank you, sir." May said, still grinning. Severus dropped the potion journal he had just picked up and blinked in confusion.

"Mr. Potter." Snape said, his eyes narrowing.

"Yes, sir?" May asked, turning to look at him.

"You're talking without stuttering." Snape said, stating the obvious which he rarely did.

"Um…Yes, sir." May said, getting confused. "Why would I stutter?"

"Stay here." Severus said standing. "I will be back momentarily." May watched him go with a frown on her face. The room was empty, with nobody to give her any praise, so she left. Harry yawned and stretched his arms. He must have fallen asleep, he thought. Snape was gone. A couple minutes later Snape came back with Poppy at his heals.

"Say something, Potter." Harry flinched a bit at the urgent-ness in Snape's voice.

"L-l-like w-wh-what?" Harry asked, sounding very confused.

"Without the stuttering." Snape said, his eyes narrowing.

"B-b-but…c-ca-can't…" Harry said, his eyes filling with tears. "I t-t-twy! D-d-don't w-work…" A couple tears slipped past.

"But you just did a few minutes ago." Severus said, "Don't lie to me, boy." It wasn't said with any harshness, just confusion, but the word 'boy' used anyway triggered something.

Freak felt tear falling down his cheeks, even though he tried to stop them. He knew crying wasn't allowed, it never helped anyway. He pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face in them. He could hear somebody talking, then a hand touched his arm. The touch filled him with fear and he flung himself away from it, crying out as he hit the floor.

"Harry, are you ok?" Freak looked up into the face of Professor Snape, but memories overrode everything, and he quickly forgot where he was.

"No! Uncle Vewnon! Fweak sowwy! No do 'gain!"

"It's ok, Harry." Severus said, trying to calm the boy.

"Fweak no mean!" Freak cried. "No mean to!"

"Harry, look at me." Severus growled. Freak's eyes flew open and he looked into Snape's eyes. Severus made a slit second decision, and entered Harry's mind. It was just about the same as before, but he noticed there was another door. One with the name, "May" carved on it with flowers.

Severus tried to open the door, but it was heavily warded. He sighed in frustration, but decided to check all the doors. None of them opened, not until he came to the door that said, "Freak". He twisted the knob and the door flew open and memories seemed to spill out. The glimpses he got were frightening, but most he couldn't tell what they were.

There were feelings of sadness, of loneliness, intense hunger and pain. There was a dark cupboard, and a sink of dirty dishes flashing by. It just didn't make any sense. Then a full blown memory hit;

The next thing Severus knew, he was standing in a kitchen. It was a very clean kitchen, he didn't think there was a thing out of place, not even a speck of dust lay on the surface of the counters. Suddenly a small black haired boy with big green eyes ran into the room, he looked to be only three years old and was covered with bruises. It only took a minute to realize that this was Harry. His mouth dropped open as the little boy pushed a chair across the room and up to the sink that was filled with a whole bunch of dirty dishes.

Harry's eyes furrowed in concentration as he reached forward to turn the sink on. He put the plug in and squirted some dish soap, and then started scrubbing. Severus didn't think he'd ever seen a faster dish scrubber in his whole life, but after about ten minutes a skinny woman, who Severus identified as Petunia, came in and walked up to the boy.

"Hurry up, Freak, your uncle will be home in five minutes." She hissed, then quickly left the room. When she was gone Harry picked up the pace and mumbled, "Name Hawwy" to himself, then looked over his shoulder to make sure nobody heard him.

Five minutes later Harry was just finishing his last plate when a huge, purple faced man came rushing in.

"Why haven't you finished, Freak?" He asked, slapping Harry across the face. As Harry picked himself up off the floor he mumbled something. Severus could see the fear etched on his face, but there was also anger and determination.

"What was that, Freak?" Vernon asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Said, name Hawwy." Harry said a bit louder. "No Fweak."

"Who told you that?" Vernon growled.

"Mummy tell Hawwy. Say 'wuv hawwy' den gween wite." Harry said and Severus felt his heart clench, the child could remember his mother's death. "Name Hawwy, mummy say." Harry looked very determined with his arms folded across his little chest. Vernon made a very animalistic growl and picked Harry up by the front of his shirt, then he pinned him against the wall.

"You listen here, Freak." Vernon growled in Harry's face. "Your parents were Freaks, you are a Freak, so therefor; your name is Freak."

"Name Hawwy!" Harry said, tears falling down his face. "Mummy say wuv Hawwy!"

"Nobody loves you, because you're a little Freak." Vernon said, bringing his face closer. "You an ugly little Freak that should have been shot the moment I saw you on my doorstep. You're not worth the air or space. You're not worth the food that we give you out of Dudley's mouth, and you certainly aren't worth clothes. You. Are. Worthless." Vernon then let go of Harry, causing him to hit the ground with a 'thud'.

Vernon was about to walk away, but then turned back to Harry and kicked him hard in the side. Harry crumpled over, gasping in pain. "From now on," said Vernon, "I don't want to hear you talk. You aren't good enough to talk, and I never want to hear your worthless voice again. Get into your cupboard."

Pain filled Harry's face, emotional and physical, as he picked himself up off the floor and he walked down the hall and went into a cupboard under the stairs. The scene started disappearing as the door shut, locking Harry in lonely darkness.

Severus blinked in shock at what he'd seen in Harry's mind. Currently Harry was curled up in a ball on the floor, crying and shaking. Severus was still in shock when he reached forward and pulled the frightened boy into his arms.

"It's alright, Harry.' He murmured as Harry tried to get away.

. . . . . .. . . . . . . . .

Freak didn't know who was touching him, he was too scared to open his eyes and see, in fear it would be Uncle Vernon coming to take him away. Freak tried to get away from the arms, but it was no good, whoever was holding him said, "It's alright, Harry." Harry…

"No! Name Fweak!" Freak cried, trying to get away.

"No, your name is Harry." The voice said. Harry…

"Fweak. No name. On'y Fweak!" Freak sobbed. He knew there would be punishment if he said he was Harry.

"Shh Harry…" The voice said soothingly. Freak just cried harder and started fighting to get away again. He knew this game. Uncle Vernon would pretend to be nice, and then he would just beat him, making him feel stupid for believing that anybody could be nice to a Freak.

Suddenly he felt hands pull his head back a bit and his lips were forced open. Freak tried to move his head to the side, but it wasn't any good, a cold liquid filled his mouth. He tried to spit it out, but his body seemed to have other ideas as he immediately swallowed it. Soon everything started fading and he started getting weak, then everything was gone.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Severus was on the floor, holding the limp boy in his arms. It was still a shock to him. He knew something was wrong with Harry's home life, but he hadn't imagined that. Finally he shook his head and stood, still holding Harry in his arms, and set him carefully on the bed. After tucking him in, Severus turned around to find Poppy staring at him with tears in her eyes.

"Come to my office." She said, then turned and left. Severus sighed and followed her, right now all he wanted to do was go back to his room and think.

"Please sit." Poppy said once they entered the office. Severus plopped down in the chair and sighed again. It seemed he was in that office more often than not.

"What happened?" She asked softly. Severus closed his eyes for a moment, then began telling the story of what he'd seen from the moment he entered Harry's mind, until he left. When he was done, Poppy gasped, "Oh Merlin!"

"Oh Merlin is right." Severus said rubbing his eyes. "I will be having a conversations with the headmaster tonight. Maybe now that we have proof he'll remove Mr. Potter from that place."

"I hope so, that's so terrible." Poppy said. "How is it that you were able to see memories now, but not before?"

"I haven't a clue." Severus said, "I've never seen anything like it. Did I mention there is another door?" Poppy shook her head. "It had 'May' carved on it along with flowers."

"I wonder what that could mean…" Poppy murmured.

"I don't know," said Severus. "It seems I have some research to do as well."


	13. Getting out of the Hospital

Shattered Illusions Chapter Thirteen: Getting out of the Hospital

The next day was Saturday, so after Severus got up and had breakfast he decided to go talk to the Headmaster. When he got to the gargoyle, he realized when he muttered 'lemon drops' that Dumbledore had changed the password again. He started calling out all the wizard candy he could think of, when none worked, he began with the muggle ones. It sprang aside on 'Snickers'. Snickers was actually one of the only candies, wizard and muggle, that Severus actually enjoyed.

Standing outside of Albus' door he lightly knocked and waited. Nobody answered at first, so he knocked again, a bit harder. "Enter," Said a voice from inside, so Severus quietly opened the door.

"Ah, Severus my boy!" Albus exclaimed standing up from his chair, "Come in, sit down!" Nodding, Severus strode to his chair and gracefully sat down. "Lemon drop?" Albus asked, holding out a tin while he picked out a lemon drop from another tin.

Severus frowned and wondered why Albus didn't take one out of the tin he was offering him. He vaguely remembered rumors going around that the lemon drops were laced with calming droughts, and he wondered if it was true. One way to find out, Severus thought to himself.

"Yes, please Albus." Severus said, reaching over and plucking one from the tin. Albus' reaction was priceless. His mouth dropped open, and the tin fell from his finger, then he sputtered, "Wha- But Severus, never in all your years of teaching have you accepted one of my lemon drops."

"Don't be so surprised, old man." Severus said, pretending to put it into his mouth, when he really only dropped it into his sleeve until later. He honestly hated lemon drops, or anything lemon flavored actually. "It was bound to happen eventually." Albus seemed to recover and he flicked his wand, causing all the lemon drops to go back into the tin neatly.

"I see," said Dumbledore, "Now, I don't think this is a social call, is it?" Severus pretended to shift the nonexistent lemon drop in his mouth before speaking.

"No Albus, I would like to talk to you about Mr. Potter." Severus said, looking Dumbledore in the eye. Dumbledore's blue eyes immediately turned icy and the twinkle vanished, his face going hard.

"Now Severus," Albus said harshly. "I told you that I don't want to hear any more about it."

"You said that, unless I had any proof that Potter was abused, then you didn't want to hear any more about." Severus said just as harshly, "It turns out that I do have some proof." Dumbledore's eyes narrowed.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"I went into his mind and found a memory of abuse." Severus said, then went on to tell exactly what had happened. "You cannot send him back." Severus finished.

"I take it you extracted the memory then?" Dumbledore asked.

"No, but won't my memory of witnessing it work?" Severus asked calmly. It should, he'd been a witness to many trials by using a memory of witnessing somebody else's memory.

"No, it cannot." Dumbledore answered. "It has to be directly from Harry himself."

"But that's absurd, why cannot it be from me?" Severus demanded.

"Simply, memories can be altered." Dumbledore said.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Severus asked, "Potter could have altered it just as much as I could."

"No, not quite." Dumbledore said. "It's not your memory, so it would be easier for you to do it." Severus frowned, he would just have to ask Harry permission to go back and extract it.

"Very well, I must be going," said Severus while standing. "Good day."

"Good day, Severus." Albus said, popping another lemon drop into his mouth. Severus left the Headmaster's office feeling annoyed, to extract the memory, he would have to search for it again. And he didn't want to watch it again, it made him uncomfortable.

Once he made it back to his quarters and pulled the lemon drop out of his pocket and went to his lab, he really was curious to see if the rumors were true or not.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Harry sat on his bed in the hospital, bored out of his mind. He wished that Pomfrey would let him leave; he wanted to be with his friends. He felt fine, really he did, so he didn't understand why Pomfrey was keeping him there. She had even said that his throat was healed, he would just have to take a potion everyday so the scars inside wouldn't get agitated when he talked. Harry flopped back onto his pillow and sighed loudly.

"What's wrong, Mr. Potter?" Poppy asked, coming into the room. Harry jumped and sat up.

"N-n-nothing M-M-Mad…Madam P-Pomfrey." Harry stuttered. Poppy looked at him.

"That sigh sounded so distressed though." She said, fluffing a pillow of another bed.

"W-wh..when c-c-can l-leave?" Harry asked, his eyes hopeful.

"So eager to get away from me?" Pomfrey asked smiling.

"Oh! N-no m-ma'am." Harry said, his face flushing a bit, "I…I j-j-just… uh…I…"

"You miss your friends, don't you?" She asked. Harry sighed in relief and nodded his head.

"Well," said Poppy, "I think you can leave now, if you promise to come back every morning to take your potions." Harry jumped off the bed.

"I p-p-promise." Harry said, he was about to run out the door when he suddenly stopped and turned. "D-do you th-thi…think y-you c-co-could p-put up a gl-glamour?" Harry asked.

"You know, you shouldn't hide all the time." Poppy frowned.

"I k-know." Harry said. "J-Just f-f-for a li-little while."

"Fine, but just for a while." Pomfrey sighed, and put up a glamour, hiding all of Harry's scars except the famous lightning bolt.

"Th-thanks!" Harry said, and turned to leave, running smack into a tall figure dressed in black. Harry took a step back and looked up at Snape nervously. "S-s-s-so…s-sorry sir!"

"You should watch where you are going, Mr. Potter." Snape said, not unkindly.

"Y-yes s-s-sir." Harry said, looking down.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Severus asked.

"C-common w…woom." Harry said, his face flushing at not being able to pronounce the 'r'.

"Madam Pomfrey let you out, did she?" Harry nodded excitedly.

"H-have come b-b-ba…back e-ev-every d-day." Harry stuttered. "T-take p-p-potion."

"Are you excited to see your friends again?" Severus questioned. Harry nodded.

"Before you leave, I wonder if I could have a word with you." Severus said, looking into Harry's eyes.

"Y-yes s-s-sir."

"Good, why don't you sit down?" Severus pulled up a chair and lightly pushed Harry into it without waiting for an answer. "Do you remember the break down you had yesterday?"

"N-n-no s-s-sir." Harry said looking confused. "W-what b-b-break d-d-own?" Severus frowned and looked Harry in the eye.

"What can you tell me about your uncle?" He asked, ignoring Harry's question.

"U-uncle V-Vewnon?" Harry asked, looking away. "N-not m-much." He really didn't remember much about him at all.

"Does he ever hit you?" Severus questioned bluntly. Harry thought back to what he remembered of his uncle. But none of the memories he could remember he was getting hit in. There were a couple where he threw Harry into a cupboard, and taking away food, but not hitting.

"N-no, s-s-sir." Harry said. "W-w-why?"

"Yesterday you had a breakdown, and while you were, I went into your mind," said Severus. "While I was in there, I found a rather disturbing memory."

"W-what wa…was it?" Severus frowned again.

"Your uncle was hitting you." Severus said, "Is it alright if I go into your mind again and try to find it?" Harry nodded so Severus took out his wand and entered Harry's mind. Again there wasn't anything different, all the door were the same. He quickly went over to Freak's door and tried to open it, with no use. It was heavily warded again. He tried as hard as he could, but the wards just wouldn't break, so he exited again.

"D-di…did you f-f-find i-it?" asked Harry.

"No." Severus said rubbing his temples. "The wards are too strong."

"I s-s-sow…s-sowwy." Harry whispered, looking away.

"Don't be sorry, child," said Severus. "We will just have to work at it. Why don't you go on to find your friends?"

"Th…thanks, s-sir!" Harry grinned and jumped up, then ran from the room. Severus sat there for a few minute more thinking; he just couldn't figure it out. He stood and stalked over to Poppy's office and knocked lightly.

"Come in!" Poppy called out, so Severus opened the door.

"I can't stay long," said Severus. "I only wanted to ask if you know any mind healers."

"Yes, I know a couple." Poppy said, "Why?"

"Well I wondered if one could come here to Hogwarts and examine Harry, we're obviously missing something." Severus replied. Poppy nodded.

"I will contact one and let you know." She said. Severus nodded and left the room without another word.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Harry practically skipped down the corridors; he was so excited to see Ron and Hermione, as well as Neville. He was a bit worried of what they would say though, since he couldn't talk right. It only took a day or so for him to figure out how to form most sentences; it really wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. But his pronunciation was horrible and the stuttering was embarrassing. He wondered if they would laugh at him, or would he accept him? Harry didn't know what he would do if they rejected him, he had no other friends. Dean and Seamus were alright, but they didn't really talk to him, everyone else ignored him almost completely.

"Potter." A voice growled from behind him. Harry stopped and turned around, staring in to the face of Draco Malfoy.

"H-h-hello Ma…M-Malfoy." Harry said.

"What's the matter with you?" Malfoy demanded, his eyes narrowing.

"W-wh-what d-do y-you m-mean?" Harry asked confused.

"W-what d-do I m-mean?" mocked Draco, placing his hands on his hips. A look of hurt flashed across Harry's face, making Draco's smirk falter a bit.

"Potter, wait!" Malfoy called, but it was too late. Harry had already turned and started running away.

Something started gnawing at Draco's conscious, making his tummy hurt. He hadn't meant to make Potter cry, he was just still angry at him from the first day. He turned sadly and started off towards the Slytherin common room to see what Crabbe and Goyle were up to.

Harry didn't run far, he couldn't believe how he was acting. He should have known that people would make fun of him, and he shouldn't have been surprised that Malfoy had been so mean. It made him not want to talk anymore, Harry wanted to go back to using sign language to communicate, that way Ron and Hermione wouldn't ever know how bad he talked.

Harry sighed and leaned against the wall, tears burned his eyes. He was so stupid to think it would be ok. He looked over, and spotting the corner, went over to it and slid down to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. Harry closed his eyes and willed his tears away.

"Potter, what are you doing over there?" A voice asked. Harry opened his eyes, a couple tears slipping past, and looked at Professor Snape. Harry shrugged and pushed himself further into the corner. Snape sighed and strolled over, then knelt down in front of Harry.

"What's wrong?" He asked, "I thought you were excited to see your friends." Harry shrugged, a couple more tears dripping from his eyes. Harry was about to wipe his face with his sleeve, but Snape lifted his hand and brushed them away with the pad of his thumb.

"Did something happen?" He questioned, sounding a bit concerned and awkward at the same time. Harry nodded slowly and tried to push himself even further into the corner, if that was even possible.

"Won't you tell me what It was?" asked Snape. Harry looked at Snape with tears in his eyes, he couldn't believe it, he was being such a baby. Harry looked away again, Snape sighed.

"The things I do for idiot Gryffindors." Snape mumbled and went to lean against the wall next to Harry. Harry looked up, a little shocked. Severus was sitting his legs out in front of him, and his arms crossed over his chest; he stared at Harry.

"You know you can tell me anything." Said Snape awkwardly. Harry nodded, and after a minute of thinking, signed;

"It was Malfoy."

"Mr. Malfoy? What did he do to you?" Severus asked, taking Harry's face and turning it, looking for any injuries.

"It's stupid." Harry signed.

"Why are you signing?" Severus asked.

"I don't want to talk." Harry signed, "Never."

"Why ever not?" Severus questioned, "You're getting much better." Harry shook his head.

"I sound stupid." Harry signed, "Malfoy was making fun of me, and I realized that everyone probably will."

"That's not true," said Snape. "Malfoy was just being Malfoy, I'll have a talk with him. Don't stop talking just because of him. If anybody else makes fun of you, or hurts you in anyway, you come and tell me." Harry smiled a bit and nodded. "Alright then." Severus stood, then held out his hand for Harry to take.

"Th-thank y-y-you p-pw-pwofessor." Harry said, Snape nodded and turned to stalk down to the dungeons. Harry shook his head, a small smile on his lips, then turned and made his own way to the Gryffindor common room.

When he entered he at first thought that nobody was in there, but then as he got closer to the couch he saw Ron and Neville lying on the floor in front of the couch, playing chess. Neville was obviously losing, even Harry could see it, but he wasn't giving up. Both of them were staring at the chess board intently, and Harry wondered when they would even notice him.

He plopped down on the couch and set in to watch the game. It took twenty five minutes before any of them noticed. Neville had just lost the game and he stood to go up to his room when he noticed Harry.

"Harry! How long have you been sitting there?" Neville asked, loud enough to wake the dead. Harry was about to respond when a female voice called out, "Harry? Did you say Harry's out there?" Hermione's head appeared from on top of the stairs and she smiled at him.

"Harry! How are you?" She asked, jogging down the stairs and pulling him into a big hug.

"F-f-fine." Stuttered Harry, "H-h-how aw…awe y-you?" Hermione grinned.

"You can talk now?" She asked.

"Y-yes b-b-but not w-w-ithout s-s-s-stutt…stuttering." Harry said.

"Well, that's alright." Hermione said, "We'll just have to help you out, wont me?" Harry grinned and nodded.

"It's good to have you back, mate." Ron said.

"Yeah," agreed Neville. "It's only been a couple of days, but I missed you."

"Th-thanks." Harry smiled.

"Would you like to play some chess, Harry?" Ron asked, pointing towards the board. Harry nodded enthusiastically. Ron and Harry sat down on the floor while Hermione and Neville sat on the couch, for the rest of the night before bed; they all sat there and played chess against each other. Harry didn't think he'd ever had so much fun.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Severus sat in his chambers, in his favorite chair next to the fire. He had to do something about Potter's living arrangements. He wouldn't allow the headmaster to place him back with his relatives. His respect for the headmaster had dropped drastically since Harry had come to Hogwarts, and he wondered how many other cases of abuse he had ignored for 'the greater good'.

Even if the headmaster had allowed Severus to take Harry out of their care, he wouldn't trust anybody Dumbledore would put him with. It looked like the only solution was to find somebody Severus trusted to take him, or take him in himself. Severus trusted almost nobody, especially with a child, so it looked like it would be the latter. Severus didn't know how he would get the guardianship transferred without Dumbledore knowing or without a trial though, so he wasn't sure what to do.

Finally after about two hours of thinking and nothing coming to mind, he got up and went to the fireplace. There was somebody that he could ask. It could be risky, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He picked up the floo powder and threw some into the fireplace, then calling, "Malfoy Manor" he stepped through.


	14. Getting Guardianship

Shattered Illusions Chapter Fourteen: Getting Guardianship

Severus stepped through the floo into Lucius' study. There wasn't anybody in there, not even a house elf. Severus felt a bit awkward standing there, he wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to Lucius. Ever since the Dark Lord disappeared they sort of had a falling out. Up until then Severus and Lucius had been as close as brothers; they would talk about everything and anything, until Severus became a spy for the light.

They were still like brothers, but they were more secretive around each other. Severus had to watch what he said to make sure that he wasn't revealed. They may have been close, but Severus felt that Lucius would turn him in, in a heartbeat.

Now more recently they didn't really visit each other much; about once a month the Malfoy's would invite him over for supper and they would discuss things, mostly the Dark Lord related. Lucius had been loyal to the Dark Lord up until the end, and as far and Severus knew, hoped every day that his Lord would return.

So coming to Lucius was extremely risky, it meant that he might be exposed as a spy. Severus didn't know what that would mean. Would Lucius accept it? Or would it mean Lucius would grow to hate Severus?

Severus was snapped out of his thoughts as a pop sounded in the room. He turned around to find a house elf standing there wringing his hands.

"Can Dobby help sir?" the elf asked.

"I am here to see your master." Severus said, "go tell him Severus Snape is here to see him." Dobby nodded and popped away. Severus used the time to look around the study. There wasn't much in it, it was so clean and orderly that Severus wanted to be sick. He liked things orderly, but the Malfoy's were over the top.

There was a big window and in front of it was a desk. The desk had a stack of parchment on one side, and fancy quills and ink on the other. In front of the desk was a plush looking arm chair, and along the far wall was a massive book case with hundreds of books on it. The carpet was white, and the walls were white; there was so much white that he was almost afraid to touch anything.

"Severus!" Lucius exclaimed coming into the room, "How good to see you!" He strode forward and wrapped Severus into a hug.

"Hello Lucius." Severus said, stepping away from the hug. "How have you been? It's been three months since we last talked."

"Oh I've been well, and yourself?" Lucius asked, "How is Draco doing in school?"

"I am well." Severus said, "Draco has been…well, you know how he is. His grades are very good, but he can be a bit mean to other students."

"Hm…What other student? Not other Slytherins I hope?"

"No, not other Slytherins." Severus agreed.

"Well, no hard done then." Lucius said, the pulled his wand out and conjured a couple of chairs. "Sit down!" Severus gracefully sat down and turned to Lucius.

"Now, your hardly one to come visit willingly, what's this about?" Lucius questioned. Severus cleared his throat and tried to hide his nervousness.

"I actually need a bit of a…favor." Severus said carefully.

"Oh, what kind of favor?" Lucius asked curiously. "You're not one to come for favors, is something wrong?"

"Well, there is a small problem." Severus said, "I have reason to believe that one of my students is being horribly abused at his home."

"Oh? What happened?" Lucius probed. Severus shifted uncomfortably in his chair and began telling him everything, only leaving out Harry's name. At the end of the story, Lucius had a thoughtful look on his face.

"I'd like you to help me get guardianship over the boy." Severus said, causing Lucius to startle.

"You want guardianship over him?" Lucius questioned, "You must care a great deal if you're willing to do that.

"It's not a matter of caring," said Severus. "You know how I feel about abused children." Lucius nodded, he did know.

"So who is the lad?" Severus froze. He knew it would come eventually, but he was still worried.

"He's Harry." Severus said. He didn't say 'Harry Potter' in hopes Lucius wouldn't ask.

"Harry who?"

"Potter." Lucius practically fell out of his chair.

"Harry Potter? The Boy Who Lived?" Lucius asked in shock. "I can't believe Dumbledore would allow him to be abused. And you want to take guardianship?" Severus nodded.

"If you take over guardianship of the boy though, when the Dark Lord returns he will know that you are a traitor."

"I'll- wait, excuse me?"

"Oh come off it, Severus." Lucius laughed, "I know you're not a true death eater."

"And you don't mind?" Severus asked in shock.

"Of course not, we may have different views but you're still my brother." Severus almost smiled, but then frowned.

"Does anybody else know?"

"No, you're very good at hiding it." Lucius said, "I only know because I know you almost as well as the back of my hand."

"So you'll help me then?" Severus asked. "I know you have some very nice connections in the ministry…"

"Yes, yes I'll help you," said Lucius. "But you must know the consequences of raising the Boy Who Lived."

"What do you mean?" Severus frowned.

"Well he'll be dead as soon as the Dark Lord returns." Lucius said gently.

"No, I won't allow it to happen." Severus said anger blazing in his eyes.

"You can hardly stop the Dark Lord." Lucius scoffed.

"I'll do what I have to." Severus said the stood. "I thank you for your help, but I must go. Awhile before I left I tested one of the headmasters lemon drops and the results should be done by now."

"Oh, I heard that he laces them with calming droughts, I wonder if it's true." Lucius said.

"I was wondering the same thing, you should have seen his face when I agreed to have one." Severus said with a small smile. "I'll have to pensive it for you, it was too good to miss."

"Alright Severus, I'll send you the paperwork in a week." Lucius said, "All you will have to do is sign it and have Potter sign it as well." Severus nodded and turned to floo back to his quarters.

When he got back he immediately went to his lab to read the result. The parchment was sitting on the counter so he picked it up and read it. His eyes narrowed and his lips were pressed. The lemon drop was laced with not only a calming drought, but a truth serum as well. Severus decided to keep the parchment, he might need it again someday.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Exactly a week later Severus was sitting at the head table during breakfast waiting impatiently for the post; he knew that the paper work would be coming that day. Lucius never went against his word, and he had said in a week it should arrive.

He discreetly glanced over at Potter, who was talking animatedly with his friends. He hadn't talked to the child yet about the guardianship, he never really didn't know how to bring it up. He would have to do it after breakfast, Snape decided. Suddenly owls filled the room and for a few moments Snape thought he wasn't going to get one, but then one dove headfirst into his plate.

Severus sneered at the animal and untied the scroll, he opened it and glanced it over. It was the guardianship paperwork, but glancing over it he noticed something. Petunia and Vernon Dursley's signatures were already on there. He looked at the owl who was pigging out on his bacon and told it to stay.

Severus was searching his pockets for a piece of paper or something but only found a muggle pen. He sighed and picked up a napkin and wrote, 'How did you get the Dursley's to sign?' He looked up to make sure nobody was watching him and tied it to the owls let, then told it to get it to Lucius.

He was finished with his breakfast so he stood and strode over to Potter, who looked to be finishing as well.

"Potter, I need to speak with you in my office." Severus snarled and walked away. He could hear Harry's feet hurrying to catch up but he didn't slow. They didn't say anything the whole way to the dungeons.

When they made it there he pushed Harry gently inside and closed the door, making sure it was locked and silenced before telling Harry to take a seat, then doing so himself.

"I have something I need to talk to you about." Severus said quietly, "You cannot speak a word of it to anybody, not even your friends." Harry nodded enthusiastically.

"How would you like to leave the Dursley's?" Severus asked. Harry's face lit up a bit.

"H-how l-l-lo..long?" Harry asked.

"Until you're of age I suppose." Severus said.

"I w-w-would l-like it v-very m-m-much, s-s-sir!" Harry grinned, "W-who w-w-will it b-be?"

"Well I was thinking I would be your guardian." Severus said, and added uncomfortably. "If you'll have me."

"Y-you w-w-want m-me?" Harry asked. Without thinking Severus answered,

"No." He almost slapped his hand over his mouth in shock when he saw Harry's face fall. "I mean…I just…" He let out a frustrating sigh. That was not how it was supposed to go.

"Harry, look at me." Severus commanded. "Alright, It's not that I don't want you. I just…You have to understand; I know nothing about…parenting and that such thing. I want you, but I'm…concerned…about my guardian abilities." By the time Severus was done he looked deeply uncomfortable. His face was flushed and he was fidgeting, something he almost never did.

"Oh, w-w-well th-that's a-al…alright th-then." Harry said looking up, "W-we c-can l-l-learn t-to-together."

"What do you mean?" Severus asked.

"W-w-well, I d-don't w-weally k-k-know h-how to b-be a…well, w-what w-will I be to y-you?"

"You will be my ward." Severus informed.

"Y-y-yeah. I d-don't kn…know h-how to be a w-w-ward." Harry said, "W-we c-can l-learn o-our p-parts t…to…together." Severus almost smiled, but kept it under check.

"I guess we will." Severus said. He pulled the parchment out of his pocket and set it front of Harry. "Are you sure you want me as a guardian?" Harry nodded so Severus told him to sign on the line. When Harry was done nearly printing his name Severus turned it around and did the same. With a puff of smoke the parchment vanished to the ministry.

"There, you are my ward now." Severus informed. "Now, don't tell anybody, especially the Headmaster. He wants you to go back to your relatives, but I don't like how they treated you so I did this behind his back."

"A-Alright s-s-sir." Harry said.

"Good, now go get ready for class." Severus said, "Oh and don't forget that you have speech lessons tonight at eight!" He heard a stuttered "Yes, sir!" as he watched the retreating form of Harry Potter. Only when Harry was gone did Severus allow himself a smile.


	15. Halloween and Trolls

Shattered Illusions Chapter Fifteen : Halloween and Trolls

A couple of weeks later things were looking up brightly for Harry. He had speech lessons with Professor Snape a couple of nights a week and his speech was improving greatly, but still had some work to be done. About once a week Harry would sit in Professor Snape's office for about an hour and they would talk. There was nothing specific they talked about, the topic seemed to change every time and it reminded Harry kind of therapy. Snape said that it was kind of like that but Harry found that he didn't mind so much, he trusted Snape.

That was a thing Harry thought was odd. Snape seemed to hate him completely before, but then changed one day. Literally. It seemed that the changes were overnight. Snape still insulted his intelligence and called him names, but the words didn't have nearly the venom that they used to, so it was ok. Sometimes, Harry even liked it. He didn't know why, but it sometimes made him feel warm inside.

For some reason it had always been important for Harry to gain Snape's attention. No matter what hurtful words he had said to Harry, Harry always wanted to do his best to impress him, to get Snape to like him. It always had hurt when he would try really hard on a potion, and Snape would come up and vanish it with some remarks on how terrible it was. Harry was glad that it wasn't like that anymore, but it seemed the only reason Snape started being nice was because he was so injured. Because he was such a…Freak…

That nagged at Harry almost every session and he wanted to bring it up, he wanted to know if Snape pitied him and that was the only reason he accepted Harry was a ward, or if Snape really wanted him. But at the same time he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know, sometimes the truth hurt more than lies.

One Saturday evening during a speech lesson Harry's curiosity got the better of him and he had to bring it up...

Snape sat at his desk waiting patiently for Harry to arrive for lessons, the boy was a little bit late but Severus didn't mind. Normally he would be ready to berate the boy as soon as he entered the room, but lately he couldn't bring himself to do it. Harry seemed to be softening his heart quicker than he thought possible, there was just something about the child…

Severus had scolded himself over and over again for seeing James Potter instead of Harry, in the process ignoring Harry's pain and even adding to it. He wondered how Harry could even stand to be in the same room with Severus after what he had done, but wasn't going to complain much.

Harry was actually a pretty decent kid. Before Harry entered Hogwarts, Severus had thought he would be spoiled, arrogant, and obnoxious. But he wasn't any of those things. Harry was just an attention starved child with a lot of heart, even if he did wear it on his sleeve.

Suddenly a timid knock brought him out of his thoughts and Severus frowned a bit. After all the weeks of coming down on a fairly regular basis, Harry was still really nervous. But that knock sounded more nervous than usual. Was it a different student? A message bearing Hufflepuff perhaps? Just to be safe he put a sneer on his face and said in a dark voice, "Enter." He couldn't ruin his reputation if it was someone other than Harry. There was a slight hesitation as the door opened and Harry entered looking anxious. Severus lost his smirk and schooled his expression into a more neutral one.

"Come in, Harry." Severus said, motioning towards the chair in front of his desk. Harry's eyes flickered towards him and then away again as Harry carefully lowered himself into his chair.

"Are you alright Harry? You look a little nervous." Severus said.

"I'm f-fine, s-sir." Harry said quietly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, s-sir." Harry said, smiling lightly. Severus could tell that the smile didn't reach his eyes, but he didn't say any more on it.

"Shall we start then?" Severus questioned, Harry nodded.

"Alright, for starters I think we should go over what we've already been practicing." Severus said leaning forward a bit. "You're stuttering has gotten a lot better, but you still have trouble with most r's."

"Yes, s-sir." Harry said, he really hated r's.

"Let's start with your name, it was two r's." Severus suggested. "Harry." Harry's eye brows furrowed in concentration.

"Hawwy." Harry stated, then blushed.

"Harry."

"Hawwy."

"Harrrrrrrry." Severus said carrying out the r's. Harry looked frustrated as he tried again, still not getting it.

"Here, just try the r's alone." Severus said. "rrrrr…"

"rrrrrr…" Harry repeated, then smiled as he got it.

"Good, now just apply that to your name." Severus said, smiling a bit.

"Haw…Har-ry." Harry stated proudly.

"Very good, Harry." Severus said, "I knew you could do it." May beamed up at Severus proudly.

"Thank you, sir." May smiled, Severus nodded and began thinking. He should come up with a sentence for Harry to say, to practice with the r's.

"Now I'd like you to try to say, 'Harry runs around the rock'" Severus said, not being able to think of anything better. May nodded.

"Harry runs around the rock." She stated, Severus almost fell out of his chair.

"Harry, that was perfect!" he exclaimed, "I thought you had problems with r's!" May looked confused.

"Why would I have problems with r's, sir?" May questioned. Severus stared at May in confusion and wonder.

"What's wrong?" May asked, looking a little more confused.

"Just a couple of minutes ago you still had problems with talking, Harry." Severus stated, narrowing his eyes.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" May asked.

"Calling you what?" Severus asked.

"Harry." May stated. Severus blinked stupidly and continued to stare.

"It's your name, is it not?" Severus then asked. May shook her head, smiling sweetly.

"What's your name then, if not Harry?" Severus' eyes narrowed again as he looked at May.

"Well, I'm May." She said like it was completely obvious.

"What? No, you're Harry." Severus stated, but as he did so he noticed something about the child sitting in front of him. May had her legs more together and he hands were folded neatly in her lap, her back was straight. Harry never sat like that. He was normally hunched over and usually had his hands placed under his thighs.

"No, I'm May." May said, "Harry's sleeping." Suddenly she got a panicked look on her face, as if she had spilled some dirty secret that nobody was to know. Concern covered Severus' face.

"Sleeping? What do you mean?" Severus demanded. "No, wait here for a minute, I'll be right back." He got up and quickly went to the floo to get Poppy. Poppy quickly gathered her medical bag and went to Severus' office, he had sounded quite urgent and he never really sounded quite like that.

When she stepped through the floo Severus quickly went up to her.

"Something is wrong with Harry." Severus said, then began to tell her everything that happened and what he'd learned about May. By the time he was finished Poppy had a thoughtful look on her face.

"Let me examine him." She said. They entered the office to find Harry stretching in his chair. He turned around and looked at them.

"I-I'm s-sorry s-sir." Harry said, his face turning red. "I m-must have f-fallen a…asleep." Severus shot a look at Poppy.

"Oh, h-hi Ma…Madam P-Pomfrey." Harry said.

"Hello dear." She said coming forward. She placed her hands on his forehead and cheeks to feel his temperature. "You say you fell asleep?"

"I th-think s-so m-ma'am." Harry said. Poppy made a humming noise in her throat as she pulled out her wand and began examining him. It didn't take long and when she finished she gave him a green sucker and asked Severus to step out with her.

"What were the results, Poppy?" Severus asked once the door was shut.

"The same as always, Severus." Poppy sighed. "But I've been thinking, we've talked to many mind healers and read every book we could find and still haven't found out what is wrong with Harry."

"What are you saying?" Severus questioned, "That there is nothing wrong?"

"No, I just think that we are looking in the wrong places." Poppy said, "I think we might start looking in the muggle world." Suddenly realization struck Severus.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Severus asked, mostly to himself. "Makes perfect sense…I'll be down to the hospital wing tonight so we can discuss this."

"That sounds perfect." Poppy said, "I'll see you then." She turned and quickly left through the floo. Severus shook his head and turned around to enter his office. Harry was sitting there quietly looking forward, his sucker was lying on Severus' desk and he noticed that Harry had a sad look upon his face.

"Harry?" Severus asked gently, taking his seat in front of him. "You had that look when you got here, what's bothering you?" Harry's eyes flickered up to meet Severus', then he looked away quickly. Harry took a deep breath through his nose and clamped his bottom lip between his teeth; Severus reached forward and carefully pulled the abused lip out.

"Something's bothering you, Harry." Severus said. Harry nodded his head.

"W-why did y-you w-want me as a w-ward?" Harry blurted. Severus was taken aback a bit.

"You needed somewhere to go." Severus said, then realized by the way Harry's face fell it wasn't the right thing to say. But Severus didn't know what else to say, it was why he took Harry after all. The child needed somewhere to go, somebody to care for him, and Severus could provide that for him.

"Harry?" Severus murmured, reaching forward and placing his hand on his shoulder.

"S-so y-you didn't we…weally w-want me?" Harry asked. "W-was it 'cause y-you felt bad?"

"I wouldn't have taken you in if I hadn't wanted you." Severus said quietly. "If I hadn't wanted you, not even Albus Dumbledore could have made me take you." Harry didn't look like he believed Snape, but nodded anyway.

"Harry." Severus sighed. "I care about you. I saw that you needed somewhere to go, and since I care about you, I decided that I would take you in. I really do want you as my ward." Harry looked up hopefully and a small smile appeared on his lips.

"Weally?" he asked, his big green eyes pleading.

"Of course." Severus replied.

"Th-thank you." Harry said quietly, his face turning red.

"Not a problem Harry." Severus said, "If you ever need to talk I'll be right here to listen." Harry nodded.

"M-may I g-go s-sir?" Harry asked. At Severus' nod Harry grinned and hopped off his chair and quickly left the room. Severus shook his head with a small smile on his face, then he leaned over and began grading papers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A couple of days later it was Halloween night and all of the students and teachers were in the great hall eating every wizarding sweet imaginable. Well, most. Severus sneered around the room in disgust as students and teacher a like stuffed their faces, he wouldn't be caught dead acting like that. He looked back down at his plate and elegantly cut off a piece of apple pie. Turning his eyes back to the students he placed the piece of pie in his mouth and surveyed the room.

His eyes first fell on Draco Malfoy, who seemed to be staring over at the Gryffindor table with a somewhat sad expression on his face. Severus followed his gaze, which landed on Harry Potter. Severus knew that Draco had been trying to win Harry's friendship, ever since he had made Harry cry that day in the corridors; Severus had wondered how it had been going, but he just realized by the look on Draco's face that he hadn't been successful.

Severus frowned when he saw Harry, his expression was just as sad as Draco's, and for a moment he wondered why. But then he realized what day it was and felt a pang of guilt and sorrow. Harry's parents had died on Halloween all those years ago. His Lily. Disgusted with himself, Severus put down his fork. He couldn't believe he had forgotten. Albus had said that it would get easier over time, but it wasn't supposed to be this easy. He still loved Lily, but thinking about her didn't hurt as much as it used to.

Severus was ashamed with himself. First he had gotten Lily killed, and if that wasn't bad enough, he forgot about her. He didn't have much time to continue his guilt and sorrow as Quirrell came flying through the door yelling about a troll in the dungeons.

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Harry was sitting at the Gryffindor table across from Ron, who was stuffing his face. Harry poked at the cake in front of him but didn't eat any. He didn't like Halloween, ever since he found out how his parents died and when. He sure as heck didn't feel like celebrating.

Harry didn't understand his feeling, it's not as though he actually knew his parents. They had died when he was still a baby and he couldn't remember anything about them. Suddenly the doors to the great hall burst open and Quirrell came running in.

"Troll! In the dungeons!" He shouted, running by Harry. Harry gritted his teeth as his scar suddenly burst with pain. It happened a lot lately but Harry learned how to get through it without so much of a flinch. "Just thought you ought to know…" Quirrell said and promptly fell over unconscious. It was like a light switch, everybody suddenly shot out of their seat and started screaming, Ron included. Harry was scared, but he didn't scream like the others. He got to his feet shakily and went over to Ron, who was trying to push through everyone else. Dumbledore's voice then boomed through the Great Hall, making everyone stop. He told everyone to follow their prefects and the prefects to lead everyone to their common rooms.

Harry and Ron were following the crowed of Gryffindors when Harry froze. Hermione wasn't with them. Ron had hurt her feelings before the feast and she had gone off by herself, he had heard some girls talking about how she was crying in the bathroom. He realized that she must still be there and she didn't know about the troll.

"Wo…R-on." Harry said grabbing his arm.

"What is it Harry?" Ron asked, "We have to get going."

"H-Her...Hermione!" He exclaimed, "Sh-she d-don't k-know! Th-the t-troll!" Harry fought back tears. He wasn't sure where they came from. Maybe from being embarrassed about his stuttering suddenly getting worse, or maybe it was from fear for his friend.

"Oh Merlin!" Ron exclaimed, "It'll get her! We have to find her!" Harry bit his lip and stood on his tip toes, he was trying to see over everybody to find a prefect. He was sure that he should let somebody know, after all, what could they do? They were only first years. To Harry's disappointment, all the prefects had already past and were too far away, they would have to go by themselves.

With confidence that Harry didn't know he had, he grabbed Ron's hand and started running. Together they pushed through the large mass of students, getting knocked over a couple of times but they quickly picked themselves up and kept going.

Finally they made it through the people and Harry sucked in a large breath of air. He didn't much like crowds for some reason, they frightened him. He didn't pause long though, before he was pulling Ron behind him again.

It didn't take long before they were in the corridor that lead to the bathroom that they were sure Hermione was in. They were about to make a run for the bathroom when the floor suddenly shook. Ron grabbed Harry's shirt and threw him into the corner roughly and then backed himself in as well.

Harry blinked away the dizziness, he had hit his head on the wall when Ron had thrown him and was about to scold Ron, but then was glad that he had done it. Seconds later a huge troll stomped past them, dragging a club behind it. Harry's eyes widened at the sight of it, he had never seen a troll before, he barely even knew what it was.

Now that Harry had seen it, his courage seemed to die a bit. That is, until the troll entered the bathroom and there was a terrified scream from within. Harry shot Ron a look and bolted from the corner, ignoring the protests that Ron gave. Even as he was protesting, Ron still ran after Harry, making Harry smile a little bit.

When they entered the bathroom they stopped in their tracks. Hermione was crawling across the floor, trying not to be seen by the troll, but failing. It spotted her just as she hid under the sink and Harry watched in horror as the troll raised its club.

"Hermione!" Ron shouted, horror in his voice as well. "Get away from there!" Hermione started crawling away in terror, nearly missing the huge club. All over the room the toilettes and stalls were all destroyed, the sinks that had been smashed had water continually shooting out of the broken pipes.

"H-HEY!" Harry shouted as loud as he could suddenly. He bent down and picked up a chunk of wood and flung it at the monster. It hit him in the back but it didn't seem to notice as it continued to look for Hermione. Ron looked at Harry, then bent down and picked up a chunk of wood and together, they threw things at it, shouting insults.

Unexpectedly, it spotted Hermione and raised its club with such quickness that shouldn't be possible for a troll. Harry ran forward, his reflexes amazingly quick, and jumped to attach himself to the club. Harry wasn't sure what he was thinking as he'd done it, but he regretted it as soon as the troll swung. His hands were sweaty and he lost his grip, falling and landing on the troll's neck. Without even thinking he wrapped his arms around the troll's head and held on for dear life; Harry closed his eyes to try to settle his stomach. Not only was the troll's stench just dreadful, that ride he had just taken on the trolls club made his stomach flip uncomfortably.

It didn't help matters when the troll, confused, started swinging his head around to see what was on its shoulders. He almost lost his grip on the troll and his wand went up the trolls nose, making it sneeze. Harry wanted to open his eyes to see what was going on, but he couldn't. He was sure if he did he would throw up, and he didn't want that. Suddenly something grasped his ankle and in half a second his heart started beating more wild than before and his breath came quicker. All he could hear was the rushing of his blood through his ears as he was pulled away from the troll's shoulders and hung upside down.

"Wo..R-Ron! D-do s-s-something!" Harry shouted, feeling sick. The troll tightened his grip and Harry heard his ankle snap, he cried out in pain and was forced to pull his body up as the troll swung.

"What?" Ron asked, looking around stupidly. The troll raised his club again, Harry moaned in pain as he dodged again.

"A-Anything!" Harry shouted. Ron looked determined as he pulled out his wand and pointed it.

"Swish and flick!" Hermione shouted out. She had been so quiet during the whole ordeal that Harry had almost forgotten about her. Ron nodded determinedly.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Ron called, swishing and flicking. The club suddenly halted in midair, then fell, hitting the troll on the head. Harry was dropped. Landing funny on his arm Harry bit back a scream and scrambled away as the troll fell forward. Harry, Ron and Hermione all sighed in relief and Harry crawled forward to retrieve his wand. He pulled it out and looked at it with disgust. It was covered in troll bogies.

Harry stood, putting all his weight on his good foot and started to clean his wand off on his robe. Hermione crawled out from under the sink rather shakily, as footsteps sounded and McGonagall, Snape, and Dumbledore showed up. Harry looked up into their faces. Dumbledore looked rather happy for some reason, McGonagall looked startled by the way she had her hand over her heart, and Snape looked…well, Harry couldn't really tell what Snape looked like. Snape looked worried, but at the same time he looked murderous.

"Wha-What…Explain yourselves!" McGonagall demanded. Harry and Ron shared a look and they both started to stutter an excuse. It was Hermione who cut in.

"It was my fault, professor." She said.

"You? How?" McGonagall asked, still flustered.

"I went looking for the troll." Hermione said quietly. "I read about them and thought I could handle it. Harry and Ron saved me, if they hadn't come I would probably be dead."

"That was incredibly stupid!" McGonagall exclaimed, "Ten points from Gryffindor!" Hermione looked away ashamed. Ron suddenly grabbed Harry's arm to get his attention and nodded towards Snape's leg. Harry looked and saw a huge gash on the man's leg and felt worry creep up. He forgot about the worry though when he looked into the man's face and saw the furious expression. Harry nearly flinched away and bit his lip. Had he ruined his chance at making Snape like him? Did he hate Harry now? Harry didn't even really notice as McGonagall awarded Ron and him five points, the guilt was gnawing at his insides. They were dismissed and Harry stepped forward, forgetting about his ankle and almost cried out. He caught himself though and started walking alone side Ron and Hermione.

"Mr. Potter." Snape growled, "A word if you please." Harry froze. That was the tone Snape used to use when he still hated Harry, he felt tears well up in his eyes.

"We'll see you in the common room, Harry." Hermione said, then leaned forward and hugged Harry. "Thank you for saving me, it was very brave of you." She whispered, then everybody was gone but him and Snape.

"We're going to my office to have a little talk." Snape snapped angrily, then turned and started stalking away. Harry tried his hardest to keep up, but his leg really hurt. About half way there Harry managed to moan, "P-please s-sir. W..wait…" But Snape either didn't hear him, or ignored him. The pain was starting to get to be too much and tears started rolling down his cheeks and he ended up biting his lip so hard it started bleeding.

When they finally made it to Snape's office Snape turned and had to wait for Harry. He was rather impatient, and seemed to not notice Harry's limping. "Hurry up!" Snape growled. Harry ignored the pain and walked faster, finally making it to the door.

Snape then grabbed Harry's arm and hauled him into the office, causing him to trip and fall over onto the floor. That time Harry did moan quietly, too quiet for Snape to hear. Snape stalked in behind him and closed the door, locking it with a spell.

Freak looked up in terror at the anger visibly radiating off the man.


	16. Hospital Wing, Talks, and Quidditch

Shattered Illusions Chapter Sixteen: Hospital Wing, Talks, and Quidditch

Terrified, Freak began backing up, ignoring the pain in his leg and arm, until his back was up against the cold, hard wall. He quickly brought his knees up to his chest and looked around the room. It was fairly dark so he could only see the outlines of things, also his glasses had been knocked off somewhere a long the way. Freak squinted, trying to find the danger until his eyes landed on it.

The outline of Snape stood a few meters in front of him, turned away. Freak could have swore he saw Snape shaking with rage, but he quickly squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe if he couldn't see Snape, then Snape couldn't see him. He knew he deserved to be punished for whatever he'd done, after all, his very existence was enough for punishment. He just wished that it didn't have to hurt so much.

Suddenly Snape smashed his fist against the desk, causing Freak to jump and open his eyes. It was almost time, he knew, for his punishment. He could tell by the way Snape was breathing, trying to calm himself it seemed.

"How could you have done something so foolish?" Snape growled, still facing away. "You could have died!" Freak flinched and a small whimper escaped his lips. He pressed his lips together and his eyes filled with tears, he wished Snape would just hurry up and punish him; it was always worse waiting for it.

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Severus strode into the room after pushing Harry in, not even sparing him a sideways glance. He was so angry! No, beyond angry. He knew he needed to calm himself, he just couldn't believe that Harry would do something so stupid.

Severus couldn't explain the fear he felt when they entered the bathroom and found the three children standing over the unconscious troll. Then when he realized they seemed to be uninjured, his worry quickly turned to anger. He just wanted to reach forward and strangle the children, how dare they do something like that? Going all by themselves to face a troll?

It was clear that Granger was lying, nobody could have been foolish enough to pull such a stunt, especially her. He could see the puffy redness of her eyes and knew that she'd been crying. If he hadn't been so worked up he probably would have wondered why. As it was, he did have emotions raging inside of him, and he only had eyes for Harry.

Severus' hands clenched and he gritted his teeth. He'd never had such emotions before, not at the same time anyway, he wasn't sure what to do with himself. How was he supposed to control them?

"Foolish Gryffindor..." Severus muttered through his gritted teeth. He shook his head slowly and felt his heart rate start to slow and he was able to think more clearly. He closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath, then turned around. It took a minute before Severus spotted Harry, but when he did he felt his face pale a bit.

The child was sitting against the wall with his knees up to his chest and tear tracks down his face. Harry seemed to be cradling his right arm and his left leg looked to be twisted a little, his face was pale and he was shaking in terror.

Severus felt guilt rip through him, had he over reacted that much? So much so that Harry was terrified of him? What a terrible guardian he was! Severus knelt in front of Harry and softly called his name. Harry's eyes snapped up to look at him and Harry started trying to scoot back, but was already against the wall. When he wasn't getting any further away, Harry started whimpering and covered his face with his left arm.

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Freak heard a soft, 'Harry' and his eyes snapped up, he hadn't realized that Snape had gotten so close and felt panic surge through him. He tried backing up but there was a wall there, so he whimpered and put his arm up to protect himself.

"Harry...Child...Look at me please." Snape murmured, putting his hand on Freak's arm. Freak jumped and tried to get away but Snape closed his hand around Freak's arm, holding him in place. "Look at me, Harry." Snape commanded softly. Freak looked up, but he didn't look at Snape, he kept his eyes on a spot on the wall behind him. Snape sighed and reached forward and gently took his injured arm.

Surprised, Freak's eyes snapped to look at what Snape was doing and tried to get away. He didn't like people knowing about his pain, it would be so easy for them to hurt him more.

"Stop moving child, I only wish to help you." Snape said softly, "Did I do this when I threw you in, or did the troll do it?" Freak felt panic rising again, Uncle Vernon did this to him a couple times. He would hurt him, then ask Freak where he got the injuries. If he were to tell Uncle Vernon the truth, he'd get into trouble, but if he lied he still got into trouble.

"Sowwy!" Freak whimpered. "Fweak be good! No be bad, Fweak good!" There were tears pouring down his face, but he couldn't seem to care, he hoped Snape would see how sorry Freak really was and would let him go without punishment.

"Harry, you're not a Freak." Snape frowned, "You are good, you just do foolish things sometimes." Freak sobbed, it hadn't worked, then he did something he knew was forbidden, he jumped to his feet and ran for it.

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Severus was surprised, one minute Harry was crying and the next he had sprung up and started running. Or, tried to run anyway, he more like limped quickly towards the door; it was obvious that Harry's leg was broken, yet he was able to walk on it. How used to pain was this child?

Severus jumped up and caught Harry around the middle. Harry let out a desperate sob and started kicking with his good leg, trying to twist out of Snape's grasp.

"Hush child, I don't wish to harm you." Snape murmured in Harry's ear, "I want to help you, please stop struggling." The boy didn't seem to hear and kept struggling, even more so, if that was possible. After a couple of minutes Severus realized that there was no way he was going to be able to help Harry if he was struggling so much, he quickly summoned a sleeping potion. Instead of trying to get Harry to take it orally, he spelled it right into Harry and watched it quickly take effect.

With a now slumped over Harry in his arms, he went over to the couch that was in his office and laid him down. The boy looked so fragile laying there, Severus felt more guilt at what he'd done and how he reacted. From now on he would have to be sure to cool off before talking to Harry, he didn't want a repeat of what had happened.

Shaking his head he pulled out his wand and started taking diagnostics. Harry's ankle was shattered, his right wrist was sprained, and he had quite a few bruises and bumps littering his body. He knew he could heal the sprain and the bumps and bruises just fine, but he didn't trust his skill to try to heal the ankle.

Severus summoned a bruise salve and took off Harry's shirt. He paused to look at the scars. Of course he'd seen them before, and he was almost positive of what they were from, but they still took him by surprise. There were so many for such a young child, who would do such a thing? Sighing he began healing what he could, and when he was finished he took Harry into his arms and carried him to the hospital wing for Poppy to work on.

The hospital wing was empty when he entered, so he set Harry one of the beds and went to find Poppy. Severus found her in her office, writing out some paper work.

"Poppy, Mr. Potter is in need of your help." Severus said from the door way. She looked up and immediately put down what she was working on.

"What happened Severus? Is he alright?" She asked getting up.

"Harry and his friends decided to take on the mountain troll." Severus informed, Poppy's face immediately paled and Severus knew she was probably imagining Harry's body mangled and bloody. "Don't worry Poppy, he's only got a shattered ankle."

"Only? as if that isn't enough! Poor boy, did you at least give him a pain potion?" Poppy asked, already busing around looking for potions.

"I put him to sleep, I figured it would be easiest." Severus wasn't incompetent, after all.

"Yes, good job, Severus." Poppy said, gathering all the potions and her wand, "Come along." Severus followed Poppy back out into the hospital, Harry was still lying on the bed.

"Taking on a mountain troll you say, what a foolish boy." Poppy muttered as she began working. "Could have died! Not many full grown adults can take one down."

"Yes, imagine our shock when Minerva, Albus and I entered the girls lavatory and found the troll unconscious." Severus said, sitting down in the chair next to the bed. Poppy stopped to look at Severus for a minute, then shook her head and went back to gathering things she needed.

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Harry slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He was so confused, he couldn't remember what had happened the day before. He thought he remembered stopping a mountain troll, but that was just a dream, right? Then when he opened his eyes and saw that he was in the hospital wing, he was even more confused.

His eyes finally settled on Professor Snape, who was reading a potions journal or some sort.

"S-sir." Harry said, then licked his lips, his mouth and throat were really dry.

"Welcome back, Mr. Potter." Snape said setting his potion journal down.

"M-may I h-h-ha...may I have s-so-some w-water?" Harry rasped. Severus called a house elf for some water and food, then helped Harry drink.

Harry sat up the rest of the way and stabbed a sausage that was on his plate, he hadn't realized it before, but he was very hungry, it felt like his stomach was eating itself.

"It...It seems that I owe you an apology." Severus said uncomfortably, shifting in he seat. Harry's eyes widened and he put his fork down.

"W-wh...why?" Harry questioned. Snape looked at Harry as if he'd swallowed a lemon.

"Because of what I did to you yesterday, of course." He stated.

"W-well, wh-what d-did y-y-you do y-y-yes...yesterday?" Harry frowned, he couldn't remember Snape doing anything to him.

"I hurt you, remember?" Snape asked.

"E-En-enough t-to p-pu...p-put m-me h-he-here?" Harry asked shocked, eyes going wider. Snape liked him, didn't he? Why would he hurt Harry enough to put him in the hospital. His stomach filled with dread. Maybe Snape didn't like him anymore afterall.

"Harry, do you not remember what happened yesterday?" Harry frowned as he thought, memories started flowing back to him slowly.

"Th-there w-was a t-t-troll..." Harry said quietly. "a-an' i-it s-sw-swung me u-up..upside- upside down. th-th-there was a c-crack a-an' p-pain in m-my l-le-leg. W-Ro-Ron kn-knocked it o-out an' I f-fe-fell o-on my a-arm." Nothing about Snape hurting him. He remembered the murderous look Snape gave him when they found him, but as far as Harry remembered, Snape hadn't touched him.

"Is that all you remember?" Severus asked.

"Y-you w-we-were m-mad a-at me..." Tears filled Harry's eyes, "I w-wa-was s-sca...s-scared th-that...that I'd...Th-that i r-ru-ru...ruined i-it." By the time Harry was done stuttering out his response he was sobbing.

"Ruined what, child?" Snape asked softly. Harry though, what had he thought he ruined? He had been afraid that Snape would start to hate him again, but there had been nothing to ruin. A small voice in the back of his head mentioned family, but Harry shrugged it off. He didn't really have a family, except the Dursley's and they only locked Harry up all the time. If that's what family was like, he didn't want Snape to be family. Harry decided to ignore the question, since he didn't know how to answer it.

Suddenly Harry remembered a little more. "A-And th-the...Th-then w-we we-were g-go-going to y-your o-off-office an' m-my l-le...leg w-weally h-huw...huwt a-and I a-as-asked y-you t-to st-stop! Bu-But y-you d-di-didn't!" Was that what Snape meant when he said he'd hurt Harry? Still, Snape would have stopped if he liked Harry and wanted him. Harry realized, Snape had hurt him. Not physically himself by hitting him and what not. But by not helping him when he hurt.

"Harry, I'm so sorry." Severus murmured, moving the tray of food off the bed and sitting down next to Harry. "I didn't hear you, or I would have stopped." The tears kept coming and Harry was crying too hard to talk, when he did it was so stuttered that neither of them could understand what was being said.

Finally Snape reached forward and uncomfortably, wrapped his arms around Harry.

"Calm yourself, Harry." Severus murmured, running one of his hands through Harry's hair. "Everything will be alright." Harry nodded, but continued to cry with his head in Snape's shoulder.

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Harry was let out of the hospital wing that night before supper, it took a lot to persuade Pomfrey, but Harry had accomplished it. He was currently walking down the corridor when he suddenly tripped on his own feet, ending up on the floor. He winced as he sat up, he rubbed his arm where he'd landed on it; the same arm that he'd sprained the day before.

"Po-Harry," A voice said. Harry looked up to find Malfoy standing over him with his arm out.

"M-Ma-Malfoy?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"Need a hand, Harry?" Malfoy asked, a blush creeping onto his face. Harry reached out and let Malfoy help him up, but looked at him cautiously.

"What happened there, Po-Harry?" Malfoy asked.

"T-t-tri...t-tripped." Harry stuttered, then looked away expecting Malfoy to make fun of him; it never came, however.

"You ought to be more careful." was all Malfoy said.

"I kn-know, th-tha-th...thanks f-for your h-hel..help." Harry said, looking at Malfoy in wonder, why was he being so nice? He had noticed Malfoy trying to be nicer to him since that day he made fun of Harry, but he always just figured it was a trick.

"No problem. Were you going to the Great Hall?" Malfoy questioned.

Harry nodded and asked, "W-we...were y-you?"

"Yeah, I was until I saw you. You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" Malfoy asked, even looking a bit worried.

"N-no. M-my a-a-arm h-hurts, bu-but I hu-hurt it be-before wh-when I w-wa-was dro...dropped b-by th-the tr-troll." At Malfoy's astonished expression, Harry wondered if the story hadn't already gotten out yet. Usually rumors flew around Hogwarts, especially when they were about him.

"You got attacked by the troll?" Malfoy asked amazed, "And you survived!"

"H-h-had to s-sa-sa...save He-Herm...Hermione. Sh-she didn't k-know." Harry shrugged. "H-had to do...to do s-something."

"You took on a mountain troll for Granger? She must really mean something to you..." Malfoy said softly. "That was really brave of you."

"Sh-she's m-my b-be-best fr-friend. An' R-on." Harry said, "N-Never ma-made f-fu...made f-fun of m-me."

"Po-Harry, I really am sorry." Draco said uncomfortably. Harry's eyes widened, that was two apologies that he'd received that day, even if he never did get to understand the first one properly. "I really didn't mean to make you cry."

"D-Didn't c-cry." Harry muttered embarrassed.

"Well, I didn't mean to hurt your feeling then." Draco huffed.

"W-won't d-do it a-ag...again?"

"I'll try not to, but I can't promise that I won't." Draco replied. Harry figured that was good enough.

"A-alright. Ap...ap-apology ex...exc-excepted." They walked the rest of the way in silence, when they entered the Great Hall it went quite. It was common knowledge that Malfoy and Harry were enemies, but they were walking in the Great Hall together? And weren't killing each other? What was the world coming to? Even the teachers were staring.

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Everything went back to normal within the next few days, with the exception of Malfoy. It seemed the blond didn't have any other friends and he quickly became part of their group, much to Ron's disgust. Harry wasn't best friends with Malfoy, but he could tolerate him, and Malfoy didn't have anybody else to hang out with.

Harry was even starting to like Malfoy a little bit, he wasn't so bad once you got to know him.

.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

About a week later Harry was sitting in Professor Snape's office, they were talking like they normally did.

"I see you and Mr. Malfoy are getting along rather nicely." Snape said.

"Y-yes si-sir." Harry said, smiling softly.

"What happened?"

"H-he he-helped m-me up-" Harry started.

"He helped you up? Did somebody push you down?" Snape interrupted. Harry frowned.

"N-no, I f-fe...fell." Harry said.

"Oh." Severus said, "You would tell me if somebody was hurting you, right?" Harry through for a moment, and wondered if Quirrell counted? He hadn't hit Harry or anything, but Harry noticed that every time he went by Quirrell, he scar would burst into pain. Perhaps it was just coincidence?

"Y-yes." Harry finally answered.

"Good, are you excited for the quidditch match coming up?" Severus questioned.

"Y-Yes s-sir!" Harry exclaimed, "It's m-my f-first b-big ma-match!"

"I know, but I want you to be careful, Harry." Severus said, "Quidditch can be very dangerous."

"I kn-know." Harry said and smiled. "I w-will."

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The screaming crowd was deafening, it was hard to concentrate with so many people screaming at him, wether it be cheering him on, or them booing him. Harry quickly scanned the field, he hadn't seen the snitch since it was let go. Not seeing it, he let his gaze drift towards the crowd. The first person he locked eyes with was Malfoy, who gave him a thumbs up. Harry smiled, before the match Malfoy had said that he was rooting for Harry, even though he was a Slytherin. That made Harry feel warm inside for some reason.

Next he locked gazes with Snape, who looked uncomfortable. Harry wondered if Snape hated the game that much, but then realized that he was uncomfortable with worry. He flashed the professor a smile, trying to tell him that he was being as careful as he could. Snape gave a very slight nod, so Harry began scanning the field again.

Suddenly there was a flash of gold, the snitch. Harry was chasing after it immediately and almost had his grip on it when his broom gave un unsturdy lurch. Harry gripped the broom and gave up the chase, his broom lurched again, causing him to almost let go. He tightened his grip and hung on for dear life when the broom then began bucking wildly, and Harry was thrown off.

Harry's arm shot out to grab onto the broom, that had stopped bucking. Dangling there, he didn't look down in fear of being sick, he tried to pull himself up, but he didn't have much for upper body strength, and it took quite a few tries before he was on his broom and soaring again.

He was chasing the snitch as fast as he could, not paying attention to the other players until the Slytherin seeker smashed into his side. Harry pulled his broom out and rammed back into the Slytherin, not moving him much as he had so much more body mass than Harry did.

Harry barely noticed when they started racing towards the ground, but when he did he looked over at the Slytherin to see if he was going to back off, at first he didn't look like he was. The closer they got to the ground, the more worried the Slytherin got until he finally pulled up. Harry waited a couple of more seconds and pulled away inches away from flattening himself.

Too close to the ground to sit on the broom properly, Harry brought his feet up and stood, his arms out for balance. He was almost there, adrenalin was pulsing through him and his blood was rushing through his ears. The crowd was screaming even more and Harry briefly realized how uncareful he was being, and felt a sense of guilt for disobeying Snape. He didn't have much time to dwell on it though, as he stepped too close to the end of the broom and went flying.

Harry hit the ground roughly and felt something lodge itself in his throat. For a moment he wanted to panic, but he stood up and immediately started gagging, the wings on the snitch were still moving, and it tickled his throat. Finally he spit it out, grinning, and held it up for everybody to see; the crowd went crazy. He'd done it, he helped win the match.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Severus never wanted to watch Harry play quidditch again, especially if it was going to be as terrifying as this game had been. He never got a break from the constant worrying, and then when Harry's broom started lurching and trying to buck the child off, he felt panic seize him and he immediately began muttering a counter.

And then that dive! What was the idiot Gryffindor thinking? He could have broken his neck, for Merlin's sake! Did the child not care about himself at all? Harry had told Severus that he would be careful, that did not look like being careful. For a moment Severus was angry, but then he forced himself to calm down. He would not make the same mistake as last time. He would have to just have a small chat with Harry, a calm one.

Severus quickly made his way off the stands, he needed to find Harry and make him go to the hospital wing; that was a nasty fall and he wouldn't be surprised if Harry hadn't re-injured himself.

When Severus caught up to Harry, who was surrounded in a crowd of the other Gryffindors, he almost didn't want to interrupt; but he needed Harry to get checked up on. His health was more important than celebrating, they could always do that later.

"Mr. Potter, a word if you will." Severus sneered.


	17. Chess with Snape

Shattered Illusions Chapter Seventeen: Chess with Snape

"Mr. Potter, a word if you will."

Harry's head snapped over to look at Snape, and shrank back a bit when he realized that he was probably in a lot of trouble. He had disobeyed. Harry had told Snape that he would be careful, and he hadn't been. He hung his head and he walked around his friends to stand in front of the man.

Harry could feel the worried eyes of his friends on his back, so he turned and waved them away. He didn't want them to have to witness it as well. Ron and Hermione had been really reluctant to leave, but the warning look Snape gave sent them running towards the castle.

"Don't look so pitiful, Harry." Snape said once they were gone, "I'm only taking you to the hospital wing for a checkup. That was a nasty fall that you had." Harry looked up and searched the professor's face. He didn't see the anger he expected, instead was a bit of worry.

It was a nice feeling, Harry decided. Having somebody worry about him made him feel warm inside, It was something he didn't really know how to explain. It made him smile, though.

Harry then wondered what sort of punishment he would get for disobeying and his smile vanished. Snape had said that he wouldn't hurt him and Harry didn't think he would, but there was always a possibility for anything, right? Harry took a deep breath and told himself that Snape was only taking him to the hospital wing, but he was still nervous.

It didn't take long for them to arrive at the hospital wing. When they entered, Snape pointed to Harry's regular bed and told him to sit down while he went to go get Poppy. Harry hated the hospital, it smelled funny and he was tired of the itchy sheets and white walls. He'd been in there so much that Harry never wanted to come back, but he knew that was unreasonable. There was bound to be accidents even if he was really careful from now on.

"Back again, Mr. Potter?" Pomfrey asked as she came into the room, "What's wrong this time?"

"F-Fell o-off…off m-my br-broom." Harry stated, then chanced a glance at his guardian.

"It was quite the nasty fall, tell Poppy how you managed it." Snape said, crossing his arms over his chest. His face was an unreadable mask, but Harry could tell that Snape wasn't all that happy, he even looked a bit disappointed. He looked down ashamed.

"I s-s-st…stood o-on m-my br…broom. I g-got t-too c-cl-close to th-the e-end and I t-t-tumbled." Harry said, not looking up. He didn't want to see their expressions, whether they were angry or disappointed, both were pretty bad.

"Why ever would you do that?" Pomfrey questioned, shaking her head and waving her wand all over Harry's body.

"W-Wanted t-to c-ca…c-catch the s-sn-snitch." Harry mumbled.

"Did you?"

"Y-yeah!" Harry's face lit up for a moment, but then his excitement died down when he saw Snape's scowl. "B-but it d-don't m-ma…don't ma-matter…"

"Oh?" Pomfrey asked, halting her movement. "Why's that?"

"I-I w-was b-bad, and I d-d-dis…disobeyed." Harry said sadly. "S-Sn-Snape's g-gonna p-pun…punish m-me n-now."

"What?" Pomfrey exclaimed. "Did he say that?" Harry's brows came together as he thought. He didn't recall if Snape actually said he would punish Harry or not, he hadn't had he? Well, Snape didn't have to say it, did he? Punishments always came after you disobey, everybody knew that.

"Severus, did you threaten to punish him?" Pomfrey asked when Harry hadn't answered.

"No," said Severus. "Harry, where did you get an idea like that?"

"W-well, I w-was b-bad. D-does…doesn't th-that m-mean you'll p-punish m-me?" Harry asked confused.

"I did not like the stunt you pulled, but I understand that there are certain risks when playing a sport such as quidditch. I can hardly punish you for playing your part." Severus said, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh…" was all Harry could say. He had been sure he'd get punished, even if it was just writing lines or something.

"Well, I believe that you're free to go, then." Pomfrey said. "You are absolutely fine, just a couple of bumps and bruises. You do need to be more careful in the future, though. I don't want you back here for a long while."

"Y-yes m-ma'am." Harry said, hopping off the bed. Severus put his hand on Harry's shoulder and started to lead him out.

"Thank you Poppy, you can never be too sure when it comes to quidditch injuries." He said, closing the door behind him.

"Would you like to go celebrate with your friends, or would you like to come back with me to my office?" Severus asked. Harry smiled; his guardian was so nice, offering to spend time with him even after all the bad things he had done.

"M-may I g-go w-with y-you?" Harry asked sheepishly.

"Of course. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want you with me." Snape said as he raised his eye brow, he started to walk down the corridor. "You should know that."

"Y-Yeah." Was all Harry said as he practically skipped behind his guardian. For some reason, he felt like the luckiest boy in the world.

On the way down to the dungeons Harry received quite a few compliments on catching the snitch as well as quite a few dirty look, mostly from the Slytherins. Harry didn't mind though, they had won and he wasn't about to let a couple of Slytherins mess it up.

When they reached Snape's office he held the door open for Harry before entering himself. Harry looked around the office, it was still the same as the last time he'd been there. It never changed, much to Harry's delight. He didn't like changes, especially if they were big.

"What are you smiling about?" Severus grumped.

"Th-The w-r…r-room." Harry said, still smiling, "I-It h-hasn't…hasn't ch-changed." Harry watched as Snape looked around the room, his eyebrow raised.

"Had you expected it to?" Snape questioned.

"N-no." Harry shook his head. "W-wa-was j-just g-gl…glad that i-it d-did…it didn't." Snape seemed to accept that answer because he inclined his head and motioned for Harry to sit down in the chair in front of the desk.

Harry bounded over and plopped down, Snape on the other hand, walked calmly over to his chair and gracefully sat down.

"Do you know how to play chess, Harry?" Snape questioned. Harry smiled, he did know how to play, just not very well.

"R-Ron's b-b-been t-tea…teaching me," Harry said, "W-why?"

"I thought maybe we could play a couple games, maybe have a small talk." Snape said and at Harry's nod, summoned the chess board. They quietly started setting the pieces and then Snape made the first move. The first couple of moves were done in silence, but Harry didn't mind. It was still nice to be spending time together.

"So how are you classes getting along?" Snape finally asked. Harry finished his move before looking up.

"F-Fine." Harry said. "H-Her…Hermi…H-Hermione h-helps m-me a lot."

"She doesn't do it for you, does she?" Snape asked, his brow raised.

"N-Nope." Harry said. "Sh-she o-only h-helps m-me st-study and sh-shows me h-how to…to d-do th-things." It was true, Hermione had helped Harry so much, and Ron too. He felt so lucky to have such great friends, he didn't know what he would do without them.

Hermione had devoured all the books on sign language the school had and had been teaching both Ron and himself, they still used it on a daily basis. She also showed Harry how to take effective notes and helped him study all the time. Ron had showed Harry and Hermione how to write with the quill, he also taught both of them how to play chess. Sometimes what they taught didn't stick with him though, or he didn't remember learning it.

"I-I c-ca…can't l-learn th-though." Harry frowned. "I t-take n-no…take notes a-and s-s-st-study, b-but n-no…none o-of it s-sticks."

"What do you mean?" Snape asked, moving his queen and putting Harry in check mate. "Last time I checked your grades were decent."

"It's s-st-st…strange." Harry said. "S-s-some…sometimes I d-d-don't w-re-remember w-writing m-my e…essays, b-but th-they're al…always th-there. S-sometimes I d-don…don't w-r…re-remember s-s-sitting in c-class either, b-but I…I'll h-h-have n-notes w-written b-but it's d-different."

"It's different? How so?" Snape asked curiously, giving Harry all of his attention.

"W-Well, i-it l-looks d-different. S-Sometime it d-does…d-doesn't l-look l-l-like m-my ch-chicken s-scratch. S-s-sometimes I t-t-take n-n-notes a-and th-the n-n-next d-day w-when I go to s-st-study it-its r-rewritten n-neater a-and w-w-with m-more d-d-details b-but I d-don't r-remember d-doing it. H-Her..H-Hermione s-sa-says it m-me th-though, I j-just d-don't 'member." By the time Harry had finished his face was red and he was breathing hard. It was a lot to say all at once, and honestly, it worried him to an extent.

"Alright, calm down Harry." Snape said, reaching forward to touch his arm. "It's alright, we'll figure it out. For now, how about another game?" Harry nodded slowly. He was such a Freak. Really, why couldn't he just be normal?

Half way through their second game Harry started wondering. What would happen if he told his friends that Snape was his guardian? Would they still be friends with him? He wanted to tell them, he was sick of having to pretend to hate Snape all the time. He was tired of Ron insulting Snape and him having to just sit there and listen.

"C-Can I t-t-tell th-them?" Harry suddenly asked.

"Tell who what?" Snape wondered.

"R-Ron a-and H-He…Hermione th-that y-you're m-my g-guardian." Harry said looking away. He knew Snape was going to say no, he should have realized that before he opened his mouth. Snape was probably embarrassed to have him as a ward.

"Harry, I don't know if that's such a good idea…" Snape said softly.

"I k-kn…know. I-I'm s-s-sorry." Harry said sadly. He heard Snape sigh.

"You don't have to be sorry, it's just not a good idea because Dumbledore might find out." Snape said.

"Th-they w-w-won't t-tell th-though." Harry protested. "I d-don't w-w-want t-to k-keep ly-lying."

They sat there for a couple of minutes in silence. Snape was staring at Harry, making him fidget. Finally Snape sighed and rubbed his eyes with his hands.

"Harry, it's just not a good idea." Snape said. "Dumbledore has ways to find things out, then if he did find out he would find a way to get you taken from me." Harry noticed that Snape actually looked pained at saying that, so he nodded and accepted the answer. Now that he did think about it, Snape was right. He just didn't want to lie anymore, it felt so wrong.

"Do you want to play one more game?" Snape asked. "Then you can go to supper with your friends after." Harry nodded and helped set up the board.

As they played the game Harry wondered if this is what having a dad would feel like. He hadn't really thought about it all that much before, but being with Snape made him feel warm inside. He wondered what would happen if he happened to call Snape 'dad' or 'father'. He really didn't know how Snape would react, and he didn't really want to find out.

'Dad' and 'father' somehow don't sound right though. Maybe because Snape really wasn't his father, no matter how much Harry wished otherwise. He would just have to stick with calling him 'sir' and 'Professor Snape'.

The game ended pretty quickly, Snape winning of course. Harry had been distracted though, and he figured by the way Snape was looking at him that he had noticed.

"You seem distracted Harry." Snape said as if reading Harry's mind. Harry wouldn't put it past him, but then he remembered that Snape couldn't get into his mind.

"M-may…maybe a l-little." Harry said shrugging. He hoped Snape would just drop it, but of course he hoped wrong.

"What is it?" Snape asked.

"Oh…I-it's n-no…n-nothing, r-really." Harry responded. Snape raised an eyebrow and Harry knew he had to say it. He couldn't lie, not to his guardian.

"W-w-well I o-only w-won…w-wondered if th-this is w-what h-ha-having a d-d-dad w-was l-like." Harry said, turning as red as a tomato. He was so embarrassed. What must Snape think of him now? Nobody said anything for a while. Harry finally got curious and looked up at the man sitting in front of him.

"Is-" Snape cleared his throat. "Is that what you want?" Harry stared for a moment, obviously he'd heard wrong. It sounded as if Snape was asking if Harry wanted him as a dad.

"I-I'm s-sorry." Harry said. He didn't know if Snape was seriously asking him or not, he didn't know what was going on. Apologizing seemed like a good thing to do.

"Why are you apologizing?" Snape asked. Harry thought for a moment, then shrugged. Why had he apologized?

"S-sou-sounded r-right." Harry stated.

"So, is that what you want?" Snape questioned. "Me to be your dad?"

"It's n-not p-pos…possible th-though." Harry said. "M-my d-dad's d-dead."

"There are adoptions that can make you more than just my ward." Snape said. "Think about it. For now, go to supper with your friends."

"Okay." Harry said. "S-See y-you l-later." He turned and left the room, quickly making his way down to the Great Hall. His friends were already there when he got to his spot, so he said a quick hello and sat down.

"Where did that old bat take you?" Ron asked as soon as Harry began filling his plate.

"Ron!" Snapped Hermione, but looked at Harry expectantly.

"T-to th-the h-hosp…hospital wing. Th-then w-we pl-played ch-chess f-for a w-while."

"Harry! You played chess with that greasy snake?" Ron asked.

"H-H-he's n-no…n-not g-gr…g-gr-easy!" Harry yelled, a couple plates suddenly shattered. Ron stared at Harry in shock while Hermione looked from the shattered plates and back at Harry. Others were beginning to look over in curiosity.

"Not greasy?" Ron scoffed. "Have you seen his hair? I bet he never showers!" Harry could feel his face burning, his eyes filling with tears. He didn't know why it was affecting him so much, it wasn't as if Ron was saying it all about him after all.

"Ron, stop." Hermione said, seeming to notice Harry's discomfort. "It's alright Harry, we don't really mind who you play with chess with, even if we don't understand it. You'd tell us if he hurt you though, right?"

"H-H…He w-w-would…wouldn't." Harry said, his breath hitching.

"I just don't understand, Harry." Ron said. "he's so mean to you, why do you want to be with him and not us?" Harry didn't know how to respond. Snape had said that it wasn't a good idea to tell about the situation, but he didn't want to lie.

"I D…don-don't w-w…wan…want to t-t-talk a-about it r-r-right now." Harry mumbled, picking up his fork. Hermione shot a look at Ron, and then picked up her own fork.

"It's alright Harry, you don't have to talk about it right now if you don't want." Hermione said. "Let's just eat some food, I'm famished." Harry nodded, but he wasn't hungry at all. He pushed the food around on his plate for a while before giving up and excusing himself. His friends looked worried, but Harry didn't seem to care all that much. He was exhausted.

Harry wondered aimlessly around the school for about an hour before he came across a giant window overlooking the grounds. Hogwarts was beautiful, Harry decided. He knew it before, but he never actually really looked at it.

"Hey, Potter." A voice said, startling Harry. He turned to find Draco standing behind him.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Draco asked, coming to stand next to Harry. Harry nodded, but didn't say anything. Draco looked at Harry, and then out the window. No words were exchanged, none were needed.


	18. Finding Out

_Authors Note: I haven't updated this story in over a year, but I think I'm back on track and I can finally finish it. If I even have any people left that wanted to read it I'm sorry for the delay. I'm going to try to post at least one chapter a week. Here's a little something for now._

Shattered Illusions Chapter Eighteen: Finding Out

May sat at her spot in class as McGonagall talked on about transfiguration. She took beautifully written notes as the teacher talked. She wanted to make sure she knew everything there was to know about anything. She just wanted to absorb all of the knowledge in the world. Some people have said that it seems like Harry competes with Hermione when it comes to knowledge. May sighed and shook her head. She knew that they really meant her, May, not Harry. Why couldn't anybody understand? She looked over and saw Hermione staring at her. She could practically see the wheels turning in her head. She was definitely thinking about something.

"What?" May asked. When she said it she turned her palms up and raised her eye brows.

"Nothing." Hermione replied and looked away. Then a couple of minutes later she turned back.

"Who are you?" May was surprised. Usually people just assumed she was Harry. Insulting really, couldn't they see her beauty? Obviously, she wasn't a boy.

"May." She said smiling. "Thank you for asking." Hermione ignored her.

"Where's Harry?" Hermione questioned. May shrugged. Why did it matter? As long as she did her job and got Harry good grades, what did it matter?

"Sleeping, I assume." May said. She wasn't going to lie about it anymore. It didn't seem to be hurting any of them so it must be alright.

"Can you wake him up?" Hermione asked. She turned her full attention on May. May liked that.

"Probably not. I've got a job to do." May said, then turned back to her notes and continued to

write down everything McGonagall said. She was going to do so good on the test, May just knew it.

"What kind of job?" Hermione asked.

"I've got to make sure Harry's grades are up." May said, pausing from her writing. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got notes to take. You can have Harry back after class." Hermione when back to working, but May could tell that she was still deep in thought. Honestly, she didn't see what the big deal was. Sure, she helped with his notes and homework and whatnot, but it was good that she was there to do it.

When class ended May was true to her word and went back inside and let Harry out.

...

Harry stretched and yawned. He was disappointed. He'd fallen asleep in class again. Pretty soon his teachers were going to get after him about that. It was pretty unacceptable. It was weird though, it wasn't as if it was boring for Harry. He loved learning about everything. It just seemed that when he did read something, it never stuck.

Harry looked down at the parchment in front of him and paused. There was writing all over it. It seemed to be about the lesson they all just had. He held it up and read it. The writing was all in cursive and looked to be a females hand writing.

"H-Hermione?" Harry asked. He figured maybe Hermione wrote it for him or something. When she looked over he said, "D-did y-yo-you w-write these n-notes?" She shook her head.

"No, Harry." She said. "You did."

"O-of c-course I didn't." Harry said. "J-j-just l-look at it. It l-looks l-like a girls wr-writings."

"I don't know what to tell you Harry," Hermione said and she put away her parchments. "It was you sitting there. Don't you remember any of it?" Harry was beginning to worry. He remembered nothing! He thought he'd fallen asleep!

"N-n-no!" Harry said, slightly panicked. Ron turned and looked at Harry.

"What's going on, mate?" He asked.

"Wasn't Harry the one writing his notes?" Hermione asked Ron. Ron nodded his head, looking very confused. "Don't worry at all Harry, we will get it all sorted out." That didn't make Harry feel any better.

When lunch came up, Harry had forgotten all about his girl written notes. He was so hungry he thought he could eat a hippogriff. He loaded his plate as soon as they sat down and for a moment, he felt a little like Ron. He shrugged it off and shoved some mashed potatoes into his mouth. They were so buttery and delicious. He swallowed his mouthful and looked up. Ron was mirroring Harry, but Hermione looked disgusted between the Ron and Harry.

"Could you eat a little less...messy?" She asked. "And perhaps you could actually chew your food. You both are going to choke."

"Sorry, Hermione." Harry said. Ron shrugged and continued to eat sloppily.

...

Potions was last for the day and May couldn't believe it. She was going to be late! She had to go to the loo but was kicked out by Pansy. Pansy said that Harry needed to go into the boys bathroom. May was so insulted. Really! Trying to tell May that she needed to use the boys loo! Absurd! May just went to a different girls bathroom with nobody in it.

Of course, the loo was further away and caused May to be late. She ran down the halls and through the dungeon until she reached the door. She was only a couple minutes late, Maybe Professor Snape wouldn't notice. She took a minute to breathe and compose herself, then she pushed the door open and walked in.

Everybody turned to look at her, Ron and Neville looked nervous. Most of the Slytherins were smirking. Snape had his back turned so May quickly took her seat. He turned around and looked right at her.

"Late again, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked.

"Yes, Professor Snape." May said irritably. She didn't care about the consequences right then. Freak or Harry could deal with them. She was just so upset. First getting kicked out of the girls restroom, then being called "Mr. Potter". She snapped the quill in her hands.

"Detention." Then Snape turned around and continued to write on the board.

"Harry, what's wrong with you?" Neville asked quietly. May liked Neville much more than she liked Ron, so she put up with him calling her a he and Harry. Very few people she liked enough for that, Neville was one.

"Nothing, Neville." May responded. "Why do you ask?" Neville shrugged.

"You seem to be acting different."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Neville." May said, then turned to her stuff and pulled out some parchment. She started writing the things off the board in her beautiful cursive handwriting. Sometimes she stopped writing for a minute to admire it. Really, so much better than Harry's chicken scratch. She doubted Freak could write at all. She was so much better than both of them and she knew it. The writing seemed to be an outline of some sort. She wondered if they were to have a test within the next few days.

"Today we will be testing." Professor Snape said and he turned from the board. "These are the things you'll be testing on." He pointed to the writing he'd done. May looked down at her parchment to make sure she had it all written down, just in case. She already had the information about everything on the list already stored in her mind. She just needed the test to do.

"You'll have some time to study so I suggest you use it wisely." May frowned. She didn't need the extra time to study. She was sure she had it all memorized, but she pulled her notes out anyway. Wouldn't hurt to read over them one last time.

When she finished reading she looked around. Everybody seemed to be concentrating really hard except Hermione, who was right up there with May. Ron had his face scrunched up in concentration, Neville had his fingers on his temples and he was mouthing all the words written in his notes.

Finally Snape told them all to put their notes away. He flicked his wand and the test was distributed to everybody in the classroom. May and Hermione started immediately. May noticed that Neville was mumbling to himself with uncertainly. May pitied everyone except Hermione. Why wouldn't they all have a brain as great as hers?

May was the first one done. She looked around to see if anybody else was finishing. Malfoy and Hermione seemed to be the only ones that were almost done. She stoop up and walked over to Professor Snape's desk.

"Here you go, sir." She said as she handed it to him. Snape glanced down at it and then narrowed his brows at her. Then took it from her hands and told her to sit back down. He didn't have to be such a grouch all the time, May figured, but didn't say anything. She walked quickly back to her spot and sat down.

...

Snape looked at the test that Harry just handed him. He was acting so strange lately. What was with Harry, May, and Freak? Did Harry just pretend to be somebody else sometimes because he didn't want to be Harry? Snape hated that he didn't know. He knew it was in his brain somewhere, it was on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn't figure it out for the life of him.

He set Harry's test down in front of him and frowned. The handwriting wasn't his. It was cursive and neat. He didn't think Harry knew how to write in cursive yet. He didn't think it looked like any other student's handwriting though. He shook his head and began grading it. He'd just have to compare it with everybody else's when they turned them in.

When Severus got to the end of the test he looked back to count all the errors and realized that there were none. Harry had gotten a perfect score. He wrote 100% on the top and set it aside. That was great, Harry passed. But part of him worried that Harry cheated. That wasn't like him, but he didn't dismiss it right away.

Granger and then Malfoy were the next to turn in their tests, both also got everything right. He compared Harry's with both of their test, the only similarities were the answers, and even they differed slightly. Malfoy was way too far for Harry to see his test so he knew that was out. Granger was out of Harry's eye sight as well. Severus concluded that Harry just did it by himself. He knew that Harry didn't cheat off of Neville or Ron, he wouldn't have done so good if he had.

He waited patiently until everybody turned their tests in, grading them as he went. Only a few people failed the test. Ron, Neville, and Dean. Shame really, he knew Neville had the potential to do really good. He was just too self conscious and needed to get some confidence. He tried to push the boy into doing better, but Severus knew that he wasn't doing a very good job. He just wasn't really sure how to get through to the students sometimes.

When the time was up for class he dismissed everybody except Granger. He needed to talk to her since she seemed to know a lot about Harry and the two seemed really close. She might know something about what was going on.

"Have a seat, Granger." Severus said. He waved his wand and the doors shut and locked. He turned to her and said. "You got a perfect score on your test."

"You held me back to tell me that?" Granger asked with a brow raised.

"No, not just that." Severus said. He may have been trying to stall. "Do you know what's going on with Potter?" She looked at him with her eyes narrowed.

"Like what?" She asked defensively. She knew something.

"Well, this isn't his handwriting." Snape said as he held up Harry's test. " And he's been acting strange. Sometimes he likes to go by May, sometimes Harry. Is he pretending?" Granger studied him. Finally her face softened.

"You're not here to hurt Harry, are you?" She asked, her arms were still crossed over her chest. Why would she think a thing like that?

"Of course not!" Severus snapped. "Tell me what you know."

"Well," She started. "I'm not sure because I haven't had the time to do any research about it yet, but I think I know what's wrong with him."

"Well, spit it out!" Severus snapped again. Insufferable know it all.

"My great great great aunt had a disorder, I think Mum called it Multiple Personality Disorder." Hermione said. She paused to worry her lip between her teeth. "It kind of sounds like Harry has the same thing." Severus had to keep his mouth from falling open. Of course! Why hadn't he thought of that!

"That would make a lot of sense." Severus murmured. " It would explain why he has missing memories and why he goes by different names." Momentarily he forgot that Hermione was sitting there. When he noticed her, he dismissed her and told her to remind Harry about his detention later that evening. Severus needed to talk to Poppy and see what her thoughts on the matter were.

Severus quickly left his class room and started to make his way towards the hospital wing, his robes billowing dramatically behind him. He smirked as students practically threw themselves out of his way. To all the students he was the evil potions master. He wasn't a favorite for anybody except his Slytherins.

When he made it to the hospital wing he spotted Poppy helping an injured Hufflepuff take a sleeping potion. When she was finished he asked to see her in her office for a discussion. She looked intrigued.

"Right, come a long Severus." She said as she led the way to her office. Of course Snape knew how to get there, but it was impolite to go ahead. Once they were in and seated he began.

"The Granger brought up a good idea for what Harry might have." He said. At Poppy's surprised look he continued. "I asked her if she knew anything and she said that her great great great aunt had Multiple Personality Disorder." Poppy stared blankly at him. "I've never heard of a witch or wizard getting it, but muggles get it."

"Well, what is it?" She asked, looking very interested.

"From my understanding, and I haven't read about it in quite awhile, its a severe form of dissociation which produces a lack of connection in a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity." Severus said. " From what I read way back, it's caused by severe trauma during early childhood, usually extreme, repetitive physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. It's a coping mechanism. The person literally dissociates him/herself from a situation or experience that's too violent, traumatic, or painful to assimilate with his conscious self."

Poppy stared in amazement. "That's amazing. Absolutely dreadful, but amazing. What do we do now?"

"Since it's not a magical disease we might have to take him into the medical world to treat him." Snape said. "Unless you and I can find a way to do it ourselves. From what I understood, it takes a very long time to heal. Sometimes, it never goes away."

"Well that's not very comforting, is it?" Poppy said.

"It often times also comes with other disorders such as anxiety and depression, so we can treat those ourselves. We also need to be on the look out for mood swings and suicidal tenancies." Severus said.

"Suicide!" Poppy exclaimed. "You don't think he's going to do that, do you? He seems alright for the most part."

"No, I don't think he'll kill himself." Severus said. "It's just something to look out for. Tomorrow I'll go to the muggle world since it's Saturday and see what I can find on books about it."

"That sounds good," Poppy said. "Let me know as soon as you find anything out."

"Of course." Severus said as he stood up. "You'll be the first to know." He let himself out and went back down to his dungeons. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. That poor boy had gone through so much. How do you help somebody with something like that? Severus knew he wasn't going to get much sleep that night.


	19. Detention and Talks

Shattered Illusions Chapter 19

Severus sat at his desk to wait for Harry, grading papers as the time slowly ticked by. It was nice to try to take his mind off of things, but he had a hard time doing so. He wanted to know everything about what Harry was going through and he couldn't wait to go out tomorrow to learn about Multiple Personality Disorder. He knew a little, but it had been years since he read anything on it. Most of what he learned was gone and forgotten. Suddenly there was a cautious sounding knock at the door.

"Enter." He said deeply. Just in case that it wasn't Harry, he needed to sound like he normally did. Wouldn't be in his best interest to expose his soft side. The door opened slowly and Harry poked his head inside, looking very nervous.

"You may come in, Harry." Severus said when he saw the hesitation. Why did Harry look so scared? It was detention, but Severus really just wanted to talk to him. Generally when he gave Harry detention they just talked unless he really did something to deserve the detention. Then he made him do what everybody else did. Things like scrubbing cauldrons with a tooth brush and putting the ingredients in alphabetical order and such.

Harry stood in the doorway looking down and shifting from one foot to the other. He had his lip between his teeth and his hands were clasped behind his back.

"Come in and have a seat, Harry." Severus said calmly. He watched as Harry nervously came forward and sat down carefully in the chair. Harry didn't make eye contact.

"How are you doing?" Severus asked. Harry shrugged, but didn't say anything.

"That's not a proper answer." He said. Harry didn't look up and didn't say anything.

"Are you doing alright?" Severus got concerned. It was unlike Harry to act in such a way. Harry nodded.

"Could you say something please?" Severus asked. Harry shrugged again. What was he to do if the boy wouldn't talk to him?

"I really just wanted to know why you were late to class today." He said. "Normally you're on time. You didn't come in with Granger or Weasley, who were you with?" Harry finally looked up at him fearfully. He didn't want Harry to be afraid, he didn't know what was provoking the fear.

"You're not in trouble." He said carefully, studying the boy. It didn't seem to help. Harry fidgeted in his chair and was biting his lip. Severus reached forward to pull the lip out from in between Harry's teeth. Suddenly the boy started sobbing and pulled his knees up to his chin, he started rocking back and forth. Severus sat in shock for just a moment in surprise, then quickly stood up and went to Harry's side.

As soon as Severus touched him, Harry made an animalistic noise and sprang up from the chair. He bolted to a table that was up against the wall and then crawled under it to hide.

"Harry?" Severus asked worriedly. "Are you alright? I didn't mean to scare you." Harry whimpered and sniffled. Suddenly Severus had a thought. Maybe it wasn't Harry. Was it Freak? He didn't want to call the boy Freak, it just felt wrong.

"Come on out. Everything is just fine. You are safe. I won't hurt you." Severus said.

"Fweak sowwy." Severus heard come almost silently from under the table.

"You're not a freak." Severus said. He knew it probably wouldn't do any good, especially if that was what the personality was named. He still felt that he should say it though.

"Am." Was all Freak said. It was more of a hiccup as the boy was still sobbing. "Fweak no do it eben."

"Didn't do what?" Severus asked.

"No be late." Freak said. So that meant it was either May or Harry that was late to class. Severus guessed May.

"Was it May?" Severus questioned. He saw movement from under the table and Harry's bright green eyes were looking up at him. "Was it?" Freak nodded slightly.

"Then that's alright." Severus said. "There's no need for you to be afraid if she did something wrong. You had nothing to do with it." Freak looked fearful still and started whimpering again.

"Not May's fault." Freak sobbed. "Fweak should done somefing!" Severus's knees were starting to hurt from kneeling on the ground. He pulled out his wand and spelled the table away. Freak looked shocked, then scared.

"It's alright." Severus murmured as he pulled Freak into his arms and sat against the wall. "I am not going to hurt you." At first Freak was squirming and sobbing loudly, trying to get away. After awhile though, Freak started to calm down.

"Safe?" Freak asked as he sniffled and hiccupped.

"Safe." Severus confirmed. Freak looked very confused and tired. He still seemed a little scared, but not nearly as much. That was an improvement. Severus looked down and the boys eyes were closed and it seemed that he'd fallen asleep. Severus shook his head and sighed. What was he going to do?

...

Harry yawned as he sat up and almost panicked when he realized that he didn't know where he was. He threw the soft green blanket off of him and stood up. He was in what looked to be an office. There was a desk and a couch with many shelves of pickled things in jars.

"I see that you're finally awake." He heard behind him. He turned around quickly.

"W-where a-am I?" Harry asked Snape.

"You're in my office." Snape said. "I would like to speak with you, if that's alright." Harry nodded. Was he in trouble? "Have a seat." Harry walked over to the plush looking arm chair that was on the other side of the desk, Snape took his spot at the desk.

"A-am I i-in t-trouble?" Harry asked nervously and confused.

"No, of course not." Snape replied calmly. "I just wanted to ask if you'd been having any problems with your memory or anything like that." Harry's eyes narrowed.

"W-what do y-you m-mean?"

"Like, do you have missing memories? Are there things written on your assignments that you don't remember writing?" Harry thought. Yes, he'd had both of those happen. Harry nodded.

"I-it's j-just 'cause I f-fa-fall a-asleep all th-the t-time." Harry said, ashamed.

"Do the names May and Freak mean anything to you?" Harry's head jerked up to look at Snape.

"Th-they're i-in m-my d-dr-dreams s-sometimes." Harry admitted. How did Snape know that? Snape looked surprised to hear that.

"What do they do in your dreams?" Snape asked.

"U-usually w-we a-all ju-just t-talk." Harry said. "M-May l-li-likes to b-brag h-how sm-smart she i-is. F-Freak j-just cries a-alot. M-May a-always just says sh-she's d-doing it for m-me."

"What do you think she means by that?" Snape asked, sounding curious. Harry shrugged.

"I d-don't k-know." Harry said. "Th-that's all I c-can r-re-remember."

"That's fine. You've done good, Harry." Snape said. Harry felt joy rise up inside of him for no good reason at all.

"Are you ready for Christmas?" Snape asked. "That's coming up, you know."

"Y-yeah, I kn-know." Harry said as he looked down.

"What's wrong?" Harry thought. He didn't know what was wrong.

"G-guess I j-ju-just don't know wh-what to e-ex-expect." He said. What did Christmas mean around Hogwarts. Did he stay or go? He'd choose to stay if he could. He quite liked Hogwarts. He figured Ron and Hermione would probably go home, but that would be okay. Some time to himself would probably do him some good.

"I would prefer it if you could stay at Hogwarts for the holidays with me, but you can choose to go back to the Dursley's if you wish." Snape said.

"I'd r-r-ra-rather s-st-stay if I c-could." Harry said and by Snape's half smile, he could tell that it was just fine.

"I won't be around tomorrow, I will be in the muggle world doing some research."Snape said. Harry wondered what kind of research but thought it best not to ask. Instead he smiled and nodded. He'd just have to find something to do with Ron and Hermione, Neville too if he was interested. If Hermione had her way, they'd spend the day studying or reading in the library.

Snape dismissed Harry after asking if there was anything else that they should talk about, Harry shook his head so Snape told him to head back to the dorm before it got too late. He was deep in thought about everything that's been going on when he accidentally bumped into somebody. He toppled over onto the ground and grunted in pain.

"S-sorry!" He said quickly and looked up. It was Malfoy and he didn't even look that upset.

"No worries, Potter." Malfoy said as he held out his hand. Malfoy had been nicer to Harry lately and he wasn't really sure what to think of it. Should he trust him or not? Was he just pretending so he could humiliate him later? He just didn't know. He reached out and took Malfoy's hand.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Malfoy asked,

"P-profe...professor S-snape t-told me to g-go b-back to the dorm b-be-before i-it g-got t-too l-late." Harry said. Suddenly somebody walked by and Harry's forehead burst out in pain. He clutched his lightning bolt scar as if his life depended on it and groaned. He opened his eyes to see Professor Quirrell walking away. He looked over at Malfoy, who had a strange expression on his face.

"You okay there, Potter?" He asked. Harry nodded. "I think something's up with that Quirrell."

"Oh? L-like w-wh-what?" Harry asked curiously.

"I just have a weird feeling about him. Once I hear him and Snape having a heated argument and they just kept talking about 'the stone' and I don't really know what stone they were talking about but then Snape said something about something names Fluffy. It was weird." Malfoy said.

Fluffy was the three headed dog that was standing on the trap door. Hagrid once blurted it out when Hermione, Ron and him were having tea together. Somehow, he remembered that but he didn't remember going for the tea. Weird.

"Th-That's s-strange." Harry said.

"Yeah. I've also notice that your scar hurts every time he's near. What's up with that?" Malfoy demanded, not angrily or mean. Just curious. Harry could see in Malfoy's eyes that he just really wanted to know what was going on. He didn't seem like he wanted to hurt Harry right then. He nodded, his scar did hurt when Quirrell was near, but he didn't know why.

"Well, I guess I've got to be getting back as well." Malfoy said. "See you around." Then he turned and started walking in the other direction. Harry shook his head to try to clear it, then continued to walk in the direction he was going.

He spoke the password and went in. It was pretty much empty when he got in, except for a few people sitting around talking. Ron and Neville were sitting on the floor playing wizards chess again. They seemed to do that a lot. Hermione was sitting in a chair reading a book, that seemed boring so he went over and sat down next to the boys.

"M-Mind if i w-w-watch?" He asked.

"Of course not!" Neville said.

"Yeah, you're welcome with us anytime you want." Ron replied. Harry grinned. Honestly, how did he get so lucky with such good friends?


End file.
